This will hurt me...

Proud Gull. Boat Harbour. April 2013. It is another Theme Thursday and today sees a burst of CREATIVITY and a shot little piece that came to me on the walk to work. I call it Perception . Quiet Jim was the first of the old gang to die. It came as a bit of a shock to get the invite to his funeral on Facebook. There were five in our gang: me; Quiet Jim (he was the quiet one); Loud Jim (he was the loud one); Big Jim (he was the fat one); and Little Jim (he wasn't very little, but he was much smaller than Big Jim). They just called me ‘Mike’. It was a surprise to all of us that Quiet Jim was the first to go. He was so, well, quiet . Loud Jim drank too much, got into fights and generally wasn't a very nice person.Big Jim’s diet was terrible, he smoked like a chimney and the mere thought of exercise could send him into apoplexy. Little Jim (who really wasn't little at all) had a taste for bizarre sexual practices. I’m pretty laid back, but as an avid trainspotter am al...

Juvenile Kelp Gull. Marieville Esplanade, Sandy Bay. July 2011. I won't be late today, thanks to the twenty-fiver meme ! 1. Tell us about something that made you laugh last night. Tell ‘Em Steve Dave Overkill . 2. What were you doing at 8 pm last night? Writing this post. 3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? I am guessing drinking coffee. 4. What happened to you in 2006? Everything changed. We call him “Henry”. 5. What was the last thing you said out loud? [*This was last night as I’m typing the post, not 8:30 am*] “Are you going to leave those pants on?” 6. How many beverages did you have today? Knowing my habits, I will have had one glass of orange juice and one cup of coffee. 7. What colour is your hairbrush? Alas, I don’t own one. 8. What was the last thing you paid for? An apple. 9. Where were you last night? At home in bed writing this post right here. 10. What colour is your front door? A matte black glass door. It’s quite classy. 11. Where do you keep your change? In the...

Stern looking kelp gull. Derwent River Estuary, Lindisfarne. May 2011. It has been said – by people who mustn’t know me at all – that I am by nature a cranky person. Some cruel ne'er-do-well even had the temerity to compare the look on the above kelp gull’s face with mine! Bastards! Leviathan , by George Oppen Truth also is the pursuit of it: Like happiness, and it will not stand. Even the verse begins to eat away In the acid. Pursuit, pursuit; A wind moves a little, Moving in a circle, very cold. How shall we say? In ordinary discourse— We must talk now. I am no longer sure of the words, The clockwork of the world. What is inexplicable Is the ‘preponderance of objects.’ The sky lights Daily with that predominance And we have become the present. We must talk now. Fear Is fear. But we abandon one another.

A Kelp Gull assesses its options. Tessellated Pavement, Eaglehawk Neck. January 2010. As a public servant, might I permit myself to say something? [Ahem] “ Cripes the attitude of most public servants astounds me. ” [Ahem] Thanks for that. I needed the release.

Larus dominicanus is nibbling on something. Opossum Bay, December 2010. Larus dominicanus – A.K.A. the Kelp Gull – is a large black-backed gull with a white tail and a large yellow bill with a red spot on the lower tip. Alas, It is only the second largest (or should that be the first smallest ?) gull in Australia. The wing has a wide trailing edge and a small white 'window' in the wingtip. This is how I tell ‘em apart from the bigger and friskier Pacific Gull. In terms of tucker, the Kelp Gull takes what it can get on both land and water, but rarely in the air. It feeds mainly on fish and crustaceans, but will scavenge when it gets a chance. I understand that they have a predilection for pommes frites , Schwartenmagen and 1945-vintage Chateau Mouton-Rothschild Jeroboam . If it cannot get that dish, it gets anxious. Indeed, Kelp Gulls have been observed feeding on living Southern Right Whales. In desperation, it will plunge its mighty beak to peck down inches into the skin a...

I was thinking about calling this photograph A shag with a little buoy , but feel the title A cormorant with a little buoy might be a little more appropriate, lest anyone confuse me with Bill Henson...

My moles in the ornithological world report to me that this little dickie bird specimen is Egretta novaehollandiae , better known as a White-faced Heron . I got a couple of snaps of this baby down in Cornelian Bay the other day, but couldn't decide if I liked it better in black and white or colour. I thought that I'd post both, and let YOU be the judge.

This gull is wondering why my post is so late today... Thus, today's Sunday Top Five is the Top Five Reasons Why My Post Is So Late Today! 1: Dirty nappies need soaking, and soaked nappies need washing, and washed nappies need hanging out. Toddlers refuse to help in such matters. 2: Pancakes don't cook themselves! 3: Ezra isn't allowed to play in the toilet water and someone has to guard the toilet. 4: I've been up to the top of the mountain and come back down again (photos to come). 5: I have a wife to tickle. Don't even get me started on mowing the lawn...

Here we have a lady ostrich from ZooDoo checking out the scene. Like many of our feathered friends , the lady ostriches are a dull shade of brown; as opposed to the striking black and white of their male partners. This lady ostrich was particularly taken by one Ezra L.F.M. Esq. Who can blame her for that, I ask?

Here is that rogue gang of emus at ZooDoo that Henry didn't like. The key problem with the emu is not ill will, a nasty disposition or anything of the sort. No, the problem with the emu is that, well, they're stupid. Imagine, if you will, something with the brains of a chicken, but is two metres tall, can run faster than Usain Bolt, and is pretty much always hungry. Now imagine that you are one metre high, you're pacey for your size but have limited leg speed, and you're holding a big bag full of emu food. Now you might be beginning to understand Henry's distaste for the emu...