This will hurt me...

Ezra here is set to start chomping on a snail he has found. Quick tip for begginers: we generally kill, clean, gut and cook the snails in garlic butter first!

Note to future parents: toddler + cargo pants [i.e. multiple pockets] x beach = sand all over your living room.

Man, if there is one thing that I CANNOT stand, it is war rudeness poverty theft man's inhumanity to man wanton environmental destruction wives who neglect their stockings . C'mon girls, as the ad says, husbands admire wives who keep their stockings perfect . Conversely, husbands detest and abhor slovenly oafs who crash about like drunken moose with ladders from here to eternity. Fair dinkum ladies, check out that look of disgust the dude above is giving his wife while she's there knitting away, completely unaware. She'll only have herself to blame if he starts fooling around with a more careful dame. This message was brought to you in the interests of marital bliss and harmony between the sexes.

Here's one of a very 1970s-looking Henry, and 1950s-looking Ezra that I took deep into the noughties just this weekend. Technically, it is not the greatest photograph that will ever be taken, as the light was just too bright and overwhelmed everything (not least the colour tones). The problem with photographing toddlers though, is that you just don't have enough time to adjust the settings. That said, you CAN do a little post-production work and experiment a little if you think that there is something to the photo. I happen to like the fact that I've managed to snap both lads in one frame. I also like that both of them have their eyes open at the same time. Lastly, I just like the looks on their faces, as both of them look in the photo just like they look in my head: Henry is being a bit of a show-off and ready to bark an order, and Ez is just holding back a bit waiting for something to happen. So first I trimmed the photo, shedding a heap of glare on the right of the imag...

Some time ago I reflected upon Dr George W. Crane's Marital Rating Scale from the 1930s. You will be happy to hear that prior to Ezra's early arrival, I discovered an online version of the test. Now, after things have settled down somewhat, I have been able to inform all that visit this here humble website so that you can all contribute to saving your marriages . In the interest of honesty and openness, my wife and I completed the test together, and I scored a healthy mark. I will be honest with you though, 1930s husbands set the bar awfully low. That said, there are a few areas where I need to pick up my game. Who knew that "drawing in pencil on the tablecloth" annoyed women so much? Go figure! 133 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Superior Take the test!

Regular readers of this blog will know how passionately committed I am to ensuring that people are empowered to cultivate a marriage that remains loving , passionate and most of all successful . Whether it is awareness around ignorance in the area of inadequate drainage ; the importance of complete feminine hygiene , particularly when a wife is lax about issues related to her charm and health; the intimate relationship between a woman’s work ethic and her attractiveness; why regular beatings are not conducive to a constructive partnership; as well as the importance of fresh coffee . Thus, I would like to think that this record, and many, many years of successful marriage (over two consecutive years and rising!) more than establishes my qualifications as an effective source of marital guidance. Personably, I owe most of my practical knowledge about dealing with a temperamental spouse through the groundbreaking and still magnificent work of the long departed, but dearly missed, Barba...