I have something to declare up front. I have never worn, and intend to never wear, a necktie. I did wear a bow tie for my Grade 10 school ball sixteen years ago, but it did have a clip, which I think renders it null and void. The history of the necktie can be traced back to the Thirty Year War when Croatian mercenaries in the employ of the French, roused the interest of Parisian high society with their traditional small, knotted neckerchiefs (which were more like cravats, to be honest). From here various kinds of dandies and posers have utilised neck ornamentation of various forms for various purposes, not one of which has any actual utility value. This is the first of two key reasons that I am so opposed to neckties. As a child of modernity, I have embraced the notion of "form following function" in the case of clothing. The necktie, to my mind, stands in the company of high heel shoes and facial piercing. It serves no practical purpose and merely hinders individual perfo...