This will hurt me...

Have you ever tried a torpedo punt while holding a chocolate scone? Ezra does not recommend it.

Henry channels the late great Ted Whitten . Well done, Henry. Well done.

Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Repeat.

Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Drop punt. Repeat.

Football. The living room, Geilston Bay. November 2012. As you know, the Internet is a wonderful place filled with the rich and varied treasures of the world holds (and RSS feeds.) The following are some things that I've had a look at in the last week. I call this: a Compendium of Click-throughs for Monday Morning... A British father living in Malmö reflects on a Scandinavian system that pays men to stay at home and keeps women in the workforce... Looking back at the Cold War... A bit of retro phone action... The brave new world of making money from music... Breakfast, lunch and dinner: Have we always eaten them? The politics of ‘orphans’ and the dirty tactics of the adoption lobby... Toddlers and discipline! Bloody Hitler!

Little by little, day by day, Henry's kicking is getting just that bit better. All he needs to do now is find the natural rhythm of the action and go with the flow. Relax and kick. Relax and kick. Relax and... dummy kick, handball off the left run hard to receive the return hand ball run harder to evade the chasing player relax and kick the goal!

Not that my children have (wisely) embraced Australian Rules Football and the mighty Essendon Bombers , Henry and I have been working very hard on his fundamentals. His endurance and speed is top notch and while his handballing needs a bit of work, it is not bad for a fellow of his age. He's getting the hang of keeping his eyes on the ball and is thus improving his marking in leaps and bounds. On that, he has a fair bit of spring in his step, so his leaps and bounds are very strong. Where he lets himself down is in the kicking department. He reminds me a little of Michael Symons, poor technique and prone to rush it. Next stop, electrodes .

This one is about a month old. Ezra is playing footy. I've got nothing more. Sorry.

After play group, Henry and I meandered back home, stopping for a while to watch the reserves turn out at the Henry Fitzgerald McCracken Football and Cricket Arena . Despite the lack of wind, the full forward for the visiting team seemed to be having a rough day of it. He kicked four straight points in the period of our watching. His own coach was rubbishing him by the time we left. Some days are diamonds, some days are stones. I think that's what the coach meant by shouting to his rover, "why are you kicking it to that f$%&wit? You must have f#%&@$g rocks in your head!"

Yet again , I have been drawn to the water and the dazzling orange hull of the Aurora Australis! I had intended to post a photograph of the visiting US Navy amphibious assault ship, the USS Tarawa . Unfortunately, none of my shots met with my strict editorial standards (I am a hard taskmaster). Thus, you get to see the Aurora again, albeit this time with a little friend on the left. Not all is lost though, with Greg at Hobart Daily successfully capturing the visitors very nicely here . I was also pleased to hear a report from notorious man-about-town (and sometime commentator on this blog), the mysterious ‘Coach’, that the pride of the US Navy were spotted in full force at the thrilling clash between the Hobart versus Clarence blockbuster at North Hobart Oval on Saturday. By all accounts the Budweiser was flowing, the Hobart merchandise was flying out the door and even the good old National Pie went down well with the sailors. Perhaps the AFL need to exploit this newfound love of th...

As promised yesterday, today I'm presenting a series of photos taken on the Henry Fitzgerald McCracken Football and Cricket Arena (HFMFCA). It features a young man in his formative years stepping out on the hallowed turf for a bit of training before his inevitable ascension to the big league. Buoyed by his beloved Bombers' return to form in their crushing of the Carlton Football Club, Henry took to the arena with a renewed sense of vigour and the intensity of ten Bengal tigers! However, the first shot that I've chosen is not one of action, but one of introspection. In many ways, elite athletes are no different from elite philosophers. Just prior to this shot, Henry and I were discussing Kant's notion of the categorical imperative and it's relation to the banana kick from the boundary line. Henry gazed off into the distance, reflecting on the shadow cast by the goal posts at the western end of the ground and confirmed that Camus was indeed close to the mark in his o...

We are lucky enough to live in an area with plenty to do very close by. The boat ramp that I photgraphed yesterday is operated by the Geilston Bay Boat Club and is within sight and just two minutes walk away. Right next door to that is the world famous (well it is now) Geilston Bay Tennis Club . There is also a High School opposite us (with cricket nets and open grounds), a little park for skaters and this big dip jumpy thing (the technical name for it, of course) for BMX riding. However, the pride of Geilston Bay is the wonderfully tendored home ground of the Old Hobartians Association Football Club . I don't think that their home ground has a name, so for the moment I've been calling it the "Henry Fitzgerald McCracken Football and Cricket Arena". It's a bit of a mouthful I know, but it does suit it well. If you study today's photo, you can see the magnificent playing surface and giant stadium seating. Tomorrow's daily photo will give everyone a closer ...

Alright, maybe Essendon won't be winning the flag this year ...

What a big week in footy! The Bombers flying high after thumping North Melbourne , the Tigers spoiling cheating Carlton's party , Melbourne appearing to throw in the towel for the 2008 season about seven minutes in, and the Sydney Swans endeavoring to lift the ratings for SBS's bigamy melodrama Big Love with their special brand of "football" . The sense of excitement has only been heightened with a strong start to the tipping season for our mob, with four tied all on top with a very impressive six from eight, with the inexperienced Henry, pregnant and fatigued Jenry and the unfortunate exile in the city of sin Good Parson Edgar Freelove hot on the heels only one tip behind. This could turn out to be the closest tipping year on record. A scan of the post-round wrap up in tomorrow's fish and chip wrappers has thrown up an early candidate for comment of the year. The newcomer to footy coverage, the Herald Sun's self-professed girly-girl Miss Saints aptly captu...

Alright, I promise that I won't say any more, it's been done to death and he's now been cleared , but I'd like one last word on the whole sorry Roos saga. My understanding of the rule breach that Paul Roos was investigated over states that one is not supposed to "intentionally induce or encourage any player to perform otherwise than on his merits". Roos said that any comment that he may or may not have made was simply in jest. Fair enough, but I struggle with that given that the other part of his defence appeared to be "why would I seriously tell him to not kick a goal (and throw the game), I didn't need to because he knew that we never intended to win the game!" Now, I have no doubt that he's telling the truth. Footage of the game showed McVeigh run on to the groundlaughing after receiving his instructions from Roos, so it probably was all a funny little comment about not kicking a goal that the four witnesses probably heared (albeit their s...

The Swans insist that it is all much ado about nothing ; the AFL is keen to protect the integrity of the competition ; Roos thinks that he is being unfairly persecuted and that the AFL have a vendetta against him ; Andy Demetriou says that it's "nothing personal" , he's even in the Telegraph counselling restraint . Aker (being Aker) just can't keep out of any argument and reckons the pre-season comp should be scrapped . The people of Sydney are in uproar ! In The Age, Carro reckons that it is a farce and is holding the fort for her good mate Snooze; in the Hun noted hack Mark Robinson thinks that it's all the fault of the league ; yet also in the Hun chief footy scribe Mike Sheehan disagrees and thinks that Roos has come out looking soiled , and that the AFL's point is valid. It should shock no-one that I agree with Sheehan. The competitive spirit within me cannot accept that football can tolerate actively trying to lose a game. As I said in an earlier p...

I don't even have the energy to slag this guy off anymore. Luckily, he does a good job of confirming his official role of 'Wanker' each time he opens his mouth. Evidence #127: AFL out to get me: Roos I really can't wait until football sees the back of him.

In the wake of Essendon’s tragic defeat at the hands of St Kilda last night, everyone’s favourite whiner Paul Roos is in the hot seat following an allegation he urged one of his own forwards to help ensure the Swans lost their NAB cup game to the Hawthorn/Tasmanian Hawks. Apparently, an interchange steward reported comments made by Roos late in the game played in Launceston. The Herald Sun reports that the steward told league officials that Roos used words to the effect of: "Go forward, just don't kick a goal." Now we know that ‘Snooze’ Roos doesn’t care too much about the pre-season comp (no wins in six years), but to actually have evidence that they played dead is pretty explosive. Remember, this is on top of a six year stint as coach with what appears to be the central goals of (in order of importance) first, annoying me and second, destroying football from within by employing a dull, negative and unwatchable game plan . The game is considered a ‘live’ one, with heft...

A link that I received from my brother, and following on with the football theme, here is a magnificent, eloquent three quarter time rev up from a coach to his charges. Right up there with Lincoln, Churchill and anything Gregory Peck had to say in To Kill A Mockingbird , this fellow brings a tear to the eye as he seeks to draw the last essence out of the players. I feel that a run for the Presidency is in order, imagine this guy letting Iran what for! [May contain some NSFW language]

All right, with the mighty Bombers flying high in the pre-season cup , the time is upon us to gaze into the crystal ball and try to pluck this year's chumps and champions. Regular readers (all one of you) may recall my tremendous foresight in picking Geelong (that ragtag cluster of misfits best known for their extended premiership drought), for glory this time last year. On the back of this, I managed to win my regular tipping competition, see the magnificent Tasmanian Tigers win their first ever Sheffield Shield AND the Ford Whatever-it-is Cup, impregnate my wife again , see the back of John Howard and (hopefully) win a Nobel Prize. I'm not even fussy about which one, any will do. That just the sort of bloke I am, humble to a fault. Anyway, with this form, I'm tipping that at least three people are eagerly anticipating my forecast for this year. First, I shall put the kiss of death on the Essendon Football Club and tip them for pre-season glory! HURRAH! See the Bombers f...