This will hurt me...

Scooter proves a winner. Home, Geilston Bay. December 25, 2010. Thank God that Christmas is nearly over again. I mean, really, they put the bloody decorations up in town in mid-November! We've done the presents, pancakes done, cauldron of chocolate mousse is made, the veggies are good to go, the turkey is primed and ready. All I need is better behaved kids. Calm before the storm. Home, Geilston Bay. December 25, 2010. Anyway, the terrible twosome got themselves a wee Wii. The Nintendo one, not the urine one. Time will tell how that turns out. What is it? Home, Geilston Bay. December 25, 2010. Quote of the day? Child #1 finished opening the last of [literally] dozens of presents: No more? OH!!! [Slams fist] I NEVER GET ANYTHING !!! Merry Christmas everyone.

A chicken for Ezra’s birthday, handmade by his loving mother. July 2010. [Addition: as noted by my darling wife in the comments, you can find the pattern for this chook - and it lays eggs too - at ikatbag.com .] It has been a while, but I think this week I shall celebrate Theme Thursday and try my hand at another drabble! Lucky you. BRUSH Colin was excited. A BRUSH with fame. An encounter with celebrity. A taste of the high life. A hint of something ‘better’. That was what he said he wanted. That was what he thought he wanted. Then he met Derrick. Derrick was on the Soaps. His face would be familiar. Wizened Detective # 2 . Drunken Politician on Right . Cantankerous Father-of-the-Bride . Derrick was famous, but not too famous for the number 37 tram. Colin cleared his throat. Colin adjusted his tie. Colin began to speak, “pleasant weather.” Derrick grunted and pushed passed. Colin looked out the window. The BRUSH off.

Nothing says " Christmas " more than " concealable weapon ". If, like me, you don't enjoy the Yuletide period with its overly cheery tone, the crude mix of corporate and religious, and generally annoying songs; a handgun can be essential (if only to keep carollers at bay). In fact, I've had my eye on a nifty little Derringer just down Henry's alley, and I know that Ezra has his heart set on one of Remington's world famous .44 Magnum (I'm trying to steer him towards the Desert Eagle, given his love of the beach and the tendency of sand to play up with the breech). In fact, the arms trade is the only thing that keeps me going through the holiday period!

Here's a felt sandwich that Jen made the boys for Christmas. The choices are limited, but if you'd like some mix of ham, Jarlsberg cheese, tomato, lettuce and beetroot on white bread, and don't mind not being able to eat it; this sandwich is for you! Which brings me to today's Sunday Top Five: My Top Five Sandwich Fillings ! 1) Cheese : I'm a cheese man: Double Gloucester; Wensleydale; Gouda; Cheshire; Provolone; Edam; Limberger; Lancashire; Mozzarella; Havarti; Mascarpone; Gołka; Camembert; Tilsit; Gruyère; Brie; Fetta; Gorgonzola; Red Windsor; Red Leicester; Quark; Chèvre; Ricotta on and on and on it goes. Today however, I can't go past a nice mature smoked Cheddar! 2) Salami : Like cheese, the varieties are endless. I can't look past a spicy Hungarian though... 3) Tomato : fresh from the garden! 4) Lettuce : a crisp and fresh cos will do. 5) Beetroot : you know what they say...

Here is a startled birthday boy opening up a present last Friday morning. Trains were what he wanted, and trains were what he got!

I realised that I have failed to post anything regarding Henry's birthday presents and his new found vocation. Let me correct that immediately! As you can see in the above photograph, on the morning of his birthday, Henry awoke to find his father almost complete in the construction of his very own stove! Inspired by the work of Jamie Oliver, although much more similar in temperament to Gordon Ramsay, Henry (or Henri as he now insists on being called), has turned our living room into his own little Hell’s Kitchen . Barking orders left, right and centre, Henri has been churning out some rather fine examples of the culinary arts for the past week. As any follower of haute cuisine will doubtless already know, the stakes are high in the modern, ultra competitive world of cookery. After less than a week, La maison de Henri has already picked up not one, but two Michelin stars. He’s been invited to compete in the world famous 料理の鉄人 (more commonly known as the Iron Chef) and has two...