This will hurt me...

Perhaps the only way that you could trump the obnoxious and boorish racism at the base of today’s advertisement for coffee would indeed be eschewing coloured models at all! I am sure that Maxwell House’s logic was one rooted in the question of why even bothering use a primitive savage when you can find two perfectly decent and upstanding white folk, get them to open up the can of boot polish and blacken themselves up for our amusement? Dare I suggest that – tub of Kiwi aside – you would struggle to find two more Caucasian-looking characters than these two Uni revue rejects? I hate this ad.

Even the splendid Mount Wellington is blighted by the curse of the phallus. No, it's not a nuclear ICBM primed and ready to put New Zealand back into the stone age. Nor is it a TELEPHONE tower enabling spotty teens to cyber bully the delicate little flowers quivering in front of their tiny keypads. No, it's dedicated to the wonders of television and radio ! Without this baby, the good folk of Hobart would have no idea about Falcon the balloon boy, and we wouldn't know that Michael Jackson is dead (or is he...?) But it is Theme Thursday , and I am not here to talk about television, as the theme is TELEPHONE. It might not surprise you, but I hate the TELEPHONE [it's number thirty seven on my list]. I hate answering the phone (I generally don't unless I'm getting paid). I hate the way that they ring, buzz, beep and rattle. I hate people that go on about their phones. I hate telemarketers, teleprinters, telegeography. Man, I even hate Telly from Sesame Street.

Unfortunately this has been indicative of the kind of morning that I have been setting off into of late. Here is the up the highway towards my bus stop on Monday morning. The fog is okay, because it generally means that I won't get rained on... I thought that in the spirit of inclusiveness, I'd give you a list of Things I Don't Like : Vampires People who like vampires. Fairies. Adults who dress like fairies. Those hats that people buy at Salamanca Market with leopard print trim and fuzz at the top. People who wear those hats that people buy at Salamanca Market with leopard print trim and fuzz at the top. Overly sensitive television personalities. People who say "It shouldn't be a problem, I don't think" when they really mean "I think that it shouldn't be a problem". Men who carry umbrellas. People who are really friendly to you when you're taking photographs, then walk away in disgust when they find out that you're not foreign at all,...

There's nothing finer than a shag in the shallows on a public beach! Here is a fine specimen hustling up some grub looking south from Howrah beach mere days ago. So yesterday you got LOVE, today you get HATE: 1. Most Hated Food: NUTS! Peanuts mainly. Not really a nut I know, but the list of things that can kill me is not a short one: peanuts, pine nuts, almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts, cashews, pistachios, macadamias, and they are just the ones I know about! Vile, detestable things! 2. Most Hated Person: I can't just pick one. I generally don't like people who think and carry themselves as if they are learned or broad-minded when in fact they are as - if not more - ignorant, narrow-minded or judgemental than those they look down upon. Unfortunately, there is no shortage of such people. 3. Most Hated Job: Any job where you find yourself getting lumped with work that should be done by those being paid twice as much as you (and they're off eating cake...) 4. Most Hated City: T...

Here is an empty Salamanca Square as seen from above. At the back there should be a mountain, but the clouds decided to hide it for the day. I thought I'd share my notes from a meeting last week: talk. talk talk talk. blah blah BLAH blah blah. talk blah talk BLAH blah talk blah. BLAH blah BLAH BLAH BLAH blah blah BLAH BLAH. ner NER NER NER talk talk BLAH NER BLAH BLAH ner NER NER.

I really do need to post this now. This was (one very small part) of my tale of woe yesterday.

I can just picture the scene: "Come on Jimmy, we got git out o'wise dis dang dere queer's funeral al'ready be over!" "Jus' hang on one dang dere minute Jessie. I ain't got all them perves and mis-cre-aints down yet". "Shee-ait come on boy, y'all only gone down and dang miss More-MONS!" "Wait up... wait up... AND... MORE... MONS... DONE!" I happen to think that this is a very interesting hit list of people to loathe. One day I shall draft my own inventory and see how they compare. In particular, I very much like how Mormons appear to have been added as an afterthought. I am not sure which would sting more, being at the top of a "I Hate List", or being relegated to an addendum. For now, let me just say that I don't like "racists", but I have no problem with "people who talk to animals more than god". And although my own personal "ankle biter" can get annoying at times, he doesn...