This will hurt me...

Ich bin sehr kalt.

I couldn't decide between these two photos, so consider yourself honoured to have a two for one Henry beefcake special !

Three sharks? Four sharks? SEVEN sharks?!?!

You know that famous photo of Marylin Monroe covered in bubbles? Yeah, this photo is nothing like that...

Here is one of those rare occasions where I rear my head in front of the camera and make an appearance. Ezra, Henry and I are battling against the elements on Sunday (Father’s Day) down at Seven Mile Beach while Jen tries to take a snap without getting rain on the lens. We nearly managed it.

Stretchy? Tick! Flared bottoms? Tick! Terry towelling? Tick! Polyester blend? Tick! Extra snug around the groinal area? DOUBLE TICK? As a man who likes to make things happen , and as the father of two young bucks who like to make things happen ; I've ordered three of these stretch terry jumpsuits (with hoods) in fawn, purple and tawny purple mellow yellow. Photos to come.

Sand or no sand, Ezra was going to eat that banana down on Opossum Bay!

I couldn't decide between these two, so I thought that I'd give up and post both. Here's a hunky Ez in Burnie looking like something straight out of a Calvin Klein advertisement from Spin Magazine in 1995.

Ladies, ladies ladies... Form an orderly queue please, there is enough man meat here for everybody!

Here is Henry a few weeks back jiving to the strains of the Bee Gee's Night Fever . If Henry had a beard, he'd easily pass for Barry Gibb . I expect that this will change when he hits puberty, and can no longer hit those high notes...

He is Ezra looking like something out of a Calvin Klein advertisement, only this time with his shirt on. Here's a challenge, what would you call the toilet water eau de cologne that this bloke is trying to shift here? I'm only after one word...

Here you can see Ez and myself looking suitably tired this very morning. Henry and Jen had a mother and son morning, while Ezra and I stayed home to do some autumn cleaning and grumble about the declining fortunes of the Latvian industrial economy. To cheer ourselves up, we later went out and purchased one gross of rusks, a terrabyte of hard drive, a sausage and a bloody great pencil. Seriously, the pencil is a foot long.

Now ladies (and gents that may be so inclined), please form an orderly queue . Settle petal, there is enough man meat to go around if we just show a little patience. For those hard of sight - or more likely awestruck by the raw sexuality I have placed before you - the text in today's advertisement hits the nails right on the head when it talks about the ultimate fashion climax . Mmmmmm mmm ! I can't possible compete with the original here, so I won't even try. I'll leave it to the stud above to lay it out for you all: Fits so tight it shows all you've got ... you're a walking turn on . And treats your body as well as she does, Easy on, easy off , quick as a flick of her tongue . Sexy cool crinkle cloth for those hot nights to come. Designed with your desires in mind... she'll eat you alive in it . Mmmmm mmm! Hot damn! Somebody get a brother a cold glass of water here! I'm a little disappointed that it's only 50% polyester, but the fact that I c...