This will hurt me...

This side of the black stump. Somewhere on the Forestier Peninsula. February 2013. I'm not certain if I'm refined or not. On the matter of girls who buck and bite, well, I think that they have their charms... the boys i mean are not refined , e e cummings The boys i mean are not refined They go with girls who buck and bite They do not give a fuck for luck They hump them thirteen times a night One hangs a hat upon her tit One carves a cross on her behind They do not give a shit for wit The boys i mean are not refined They come with girls who bite and buck Who cannot read and cannot write Who laugh like they would fall apart And masturbate with dynamite The boys i mean are not refined They cannot chat of that and this They do not give a fart for art They kill like you would take a piss They speak whatever's on their mind They do whatever's in their pants The boys i mean are not refined They shake the mountains when they dance

A pair of Streptopelia chinensis larking about at St Johns Park, New Town. December 2010. Streptopelia chinensis – the Spotted Turtle Dove to its friends – is a pigeon which is a resident breeding bird in tropical southern Asia from Pakistan, India and Sri Lanka east to south China and Southeast Asia. Obviously, you can add New Town to that list! In fact, my spies (as well as my moles, emissaries, stoolies and informants) tell me that these buggers are spreading at a rate of knots, often to the detriment of our very own native doves. Like the European Wasps and Argentinean Ants, immigrant animals are overrunning us! Something must be done. We don’t need words, we need ACTION . Now, I’ve looked into the matter and realise that our detention centres are all full. Offshore confinement won’t work, as the bustards bastards can fly. Well, I decided to take matters into my own hands and wring these two buggers’ necks. They put up a hell of a fight! That is our Christmas dinner sorted, at th...