This will hurt me...

Squid and chips are a magnificent feast for children and dogs alike!

Murder? Incest? Adultery? Sodomy? Blasphemy? Amateur theatre? No, the worst sin in Christendom is chucking food out . Let that be a warning, Henry...

What sort of Mexican food might one expect to find from a place with a neon cactus in the window? It used to do the job, but since its embrace of the "fish-bowl margarita" crowd of screeching happy hour harpies, the quality of the food has diminished in lock with the ambience.

Crikey, check out that... [ahem] microwave . A fabulous... [ahem] idea here, microwave and conventional oven together. [Adjusts seating position.] [Ahem] The thing that I admire most about this advertisement is its use of an enormous pair of breasts subtlety .

Last week you saw Ezra at the fish 'n chip joint by the water front, this week I can present Henry from that very same day. Sweet little angel that he is, when we'd served up the various squid, scallops, prawns, fish and (most importantly) chips; Ez decided that he wanted milk right there and then. Now, please understand that my children - being the engaged, interested lads that they are - generally refuse to breast feed if there is anyone else talking, moving or breathing within a twenty metre radius. This necessitated the holder of the milk (poor old Jen) removing herself from the plate of tasty treats in order to find a quiet spot up on the pier to quell the brewing storm within young Ezra. Easy enough, one might think. The chips can wait. Enter Henry. Jen was barely one foot out of the door when Henry made a dash for her assorted seafood and chips. Ever the gent, I stepped in and said "no Henry, they're Mummy's chips". Henry tried again, and I again trie...

I stumbled across this image on whilst strolling on the Information Superhighway the other day and can’t decide whether it delights or repulses me. The notion of an aged Colonel Sanders personally hand feeding broads with bouffants is an interesting one, and I wish that I had more information regarding the circumstances behind this photograph. Now, if you happen to recognise the foxy lady nibbling on the good Colonel’s juicy leg, or you know something about this whole state of affairs , I’d very much appreciate your contribution. Moreover, I’d like launch a welcome all comers caption competition in the absence of an accurate analysis of the events above. Your prize? Well, what prize could be greater than the enhanced self esteem that comes with trouncing the opposition in a meaningless game? [I dunno, a holiday, car or something...] If anyone can think of a prize that doesn't involve me, you know, having to post stuff in the mail or something, I'm open to suggestions. May...