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Lord almighty, I feel my temperature rising. Higher and higher, it's burning through to my soul.


As Whitesnake proclaimed in a record I bought from the 7EX record bar way back in 1987, here I go again! Theme Thursday madness is upon us. Once again, the masters that be have challenged me to stretch credulity as taut as possible to extend my post to the nominated theme.

So what is it? Could those who are sitting there shouting “ROSE” or “FLOWERS” at their monitors/laptops please kindly call the local authorities for help. Screaming at computers, it ain't natural, is it? No, it's nothing flora-related at all. It is, in fact, FIRE! No, like the humble rose above, it’s a common [clichéd?] literary conceit to utilise fire as a metaphor for both desire, as well as love. Although the simple rhyme no doubt helps, the frequent recourse to the fire/desire allegory must have something going for it, right?

Now, I know desire – oh lordy, don’t I know it – and I know what it is to feel love. I am also aware that desire and love are most certainly not one and the same. That said, anyone who tells me that they experience a “romantic” form of love without a healthy dose of good old fashioned carnal lustdesire is obviously wired somewhat differently than I...

So we can agree that love and desire are different – albeit related – concepts. They’re obviously subjective concepts too, because in my ample experience of rampant, all-consuming lustdesire, I honestly can’t remember it burning all that much. Aching, definitely! Throbbing, oh christ yes! Plenty of throbbing. Sharp, stabbing pain, yes yes yes. Burning? Well, no, not really.

Love? Well, as I said, in its romantic sense, I am not sure that I am able to wholly separate that from the throbbingdesire. Love aches and it stabs and it twists my stomach into knots and it all makes me feel rather queasy and faint, but it doesn’t really burn.

So what are they on about then? Think about it, Elvis with his hunk o’ burning love; Jim Morrison wanted some young lovely/ies to light his fire; the Boss with all that “I’m on fire” malarkey; hell, even dear old Johnny Farnham warbled about how he was left to “burn for you”.

All this burning got me thinking. You see, I have a theory [I have many, many theories]. It concerns a topic that I have been drawn upon to speak about in the past. I sense a pattern than may crack the code!
LOVE.

DESIRE.

SEX.

FIRE.

My god I have done it!

All roads lead to...


GONORRHOEA!

Comments

Tom said…
yeesh...i didn't see that coming...oops i did it again.
Dakota Bear said…
You have me laughing here, a big hearty laugh. Like Tom said I didn't see that coming. That is a beautiful rose.
Baino said…
Ok function before form, how do you put lines through your words haven't worked that out. And frankly the Kings of Leon's Triple J Hot 100 winners with Sex on Fire always sounded VERY uncomfortable to me. I am a pyrophobic.
Anonymous said…
Fab ending Kris! 'Tis nice to get lucky but not unlucky, at the same time. They drilled that into us at boot camp lectures( pun fully intended )!
California Girl said…
Second TT I've read on the Whitesnake tragedy in RI.

Great image. Funny ending.
Brian Miller said…
i agree that the physical side of love is very important, though i hope the roads diverge from the path you have proclaimed. : ) too many people forget or lose the ability of the physical as they get older, and its usually the first to go in a volatile relationship, or used to hurt. sad.
Reyjr said…
sexy post. lol!
except for the std part. :p
tony said…
very old friend came by today
'Cause he was telling everyone in town
About the love that he just found
And Marie's the name of his latest flame

He talked and talked and I heard him say
That she had the longest blackest hair
The prettiest green eyes anywhere
And Marie's the name of his latest flame

Though I smiled the tears inside were a-burning
I wished him luck and then he said goodbye
He was gone but still his words kept returning
What else was there for me to do but cry

Would you believe that yesterday
This girl was in my arms and swore to me
She'd be mine eternally
And Marie's the name of his latest flame

Though I smiled the tears inside were a-burning
I wished him luck and then he said goodbye
He was gone but still his words kept returning
What else was there for me to do but cry

Would you believe that yesterday
This girl was in my arms and swore to me
She'd be mine eternally
And Marie's the name of his latest flame
Yeah, Marie's the name of his latest flame
Oh, Marie's the name of his latest flame (fade)
Elvis Presley
Anonymous said…
So all that bla-bla throughout history about pure love being chaste, and lust leading to the fires of hell...that's what they were talking about?!

You are a twisted soul, Kris! ;-D
Good one.
Kat Mortensen said…
Yikes! Very entertaining and enlightening post.
(Just wanted to assure you, there in not a complete absence of "tongues".)

Kat
Anonymous said…
Oh yeah. Love the rose photo. Lush.
Gabby said…
LOL. What Tom said.
Love, the romatic part, doesn't burn in me either. It does make me crazy though. :)
Ronda Laveen said…
All roads lead to...GONORRHOEA! Isn't that what Napoleon said? Or was it syphilis? Thanks for the laugh. The perfect amount of misdirection and then the pull-kick, slam dunk move right into the goal cage. Quite the magician you are.

And I have been shouting a lot at computer screens the last week. I guess it's not natural but it has become routine.I'm going to post this ere internet gods give me the boot.
Priyanka Khot said…
wow!

only you could have pasted a photo of a RED rose and spoken about love and lust and fire and desire...

and end it all at Gonorrhea

had a hearty laugh!

Looking forward to next Thursday.
Wings1295 said…
eep! that was unexpected! hahahaha
Colette Amelia said…
Call me a dirty old woman but I did see it coming!

I can think of some burning occurances that also come from love and sex...birth...now that is a good burning sensation to be sure and then there is the burning of the episotomy afterwards so you dread going pee!

If you don't believe me just ask your wife!
DineometerDeb said…
Yep, they do don't they. I don't know how, but I bet cupcakes would lead to gonnoreah too.
Mrsupole said…
Very good and surprising ending. I have not had that kinda of burning ending to love yet and hope to never experience it. Desire, love, lust, sometimes do seem to be the same, but hopefully love wins out.

Great post. Great rose pic.

I am with Baino in wondering how you can draw lines through the words posted. I seriously have so much to learn. And how do you get the pictures to be such a large size. Aye, I need so much help.

God bless.
Megan said…
Try a yeast infection on for size sometime, and get back to me...
Kris McCracken said…
Tom, nor do millions of red blooded men and women!
Kris McCracken said…
Dakota Bear, it was in someone’s front garden.
Kris McCracken said…
Baino, easy, see: http://www.htmlcodetutorial.com/_STRIKE.html
Kris McCracken said…
California Girl, poor old Whitesnake…
Kris McCracken said…
Brian, I’m a very physical kind of guy.
Kris McCracken said…
Candie, it burns.
Kris McCracken said…
Reyjr, a grey lining.
Kris McCracken said…
Tony, beautifully captured.
Kris McCracken said…
A.Decker, that is my theory…
Kris McCracken said…
A.Decker, it is something of an experiment.
Kris McCracken said…
Gabby, that’s true for me too.
Kris McCracken said…
Ronda, maybe it isn’t natural to shout about flowers.
Kris McCracken said…
Priyanka, sexually transmitted diseases are no laughing matter. Just ask Robert Mugabe!
Kris McCracken said…
Wings, if it’s not on, it’s not on!
Kris McCracken said…
Colette, despite Henry’s humungous size, Jennifer had no drugs, nor any episiotomy. Nor any tears (as in ripping) OR tears (crying)! Same with Ez.
Kris McCracken said…
DineometerDeb, eventually.
Kris McCracken said…
Mrsupole, stay careful and you’ll be right!
Kris McCracken said…
Megan, a bit of yogurt applied to the affected area, and it’ll work wonders…
Kris McCracken said…
I've missed someone!
Burning loins...oh yeah (good times:)!

lol lol Thanks for a great and...hilarious post Kris!

Have a great day and weekend!
Peace and fire (oh wait love:-)
xoxo
Kris McCracken said…
Marianna, always practice safe love.
Anonymous said…
Your photography is wonderful. Thanks.
I was going to guess that it was perhaps a burning bush? ha! Happy Theme Thursday, I've forgotten how many songs there were about fire.
Hi! Kris and Ezra,
Wow!...what a very interesting and
insightful post. The Rose is
very beautiful too!

Tks, for sharing!
Deedee ;-D
Cuppa Jo said…
First, let me just say that I have that Whitesnake song on my iPod and every time I hear it, I can totally see Tawny Kitaen dancing and posing on a car.

Second...LOL. Yes, fire and the clap. Makes so much sense.
GailO said…
From the rose photo to the fun ending I loved your post!
Kris McCracken said…
Katherine, why thank you!
Kris McCracken said…
Books, Coffee etc, now don't forget Henry!
Kris McCracken said…
Cuppa Jo, I always wanted Whitesnake to be Germans. They look like Germans.
kris said, "Books, Coffee etc, now don't forget Henry!"Hi! Kris,
Oops!...I'am so sorry! about not
mentioning Henry!...I just see baby
Ezra, in your avatar with you...well, here goes...
Hi! Henry,...so sorry!

Take care!
Kris, Mom, Henry and Ezra...

Deedee ;-D
Kris McCracken said…
Deedee, he would never let me forget it!

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