Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed.

First, a definition:

Budgie Smugglers
A male bathing costume that encloses the wearer's genitalia in a manner that resembles the concealment of a budgerigar.

The establishment that I feature above, Budgie Smugglers, is a takeaway joint that can be found on Collins Street here in Hobart. As the name suggests, they no doubt consider themselves a funky dive.

It is Theme Thursday you see. Today's theme is a word that sends shivers up my spine: FUNKY.

Funky, you see, is a loaded term. Of course, those etymologists amongst us will recognise the root from the Latin, fetid; that is, offensively malodorous. 'A foul odour', if you will. It is certainly what I think when someone starts getting funky on my arse.

That is because funky is a dated term that is meant to denote something stylish and modern in an unconventional way. As with most things, this terribly unconventional tendency is now a convention. Thus, all those I know who have embraced funky as both a word and a style, have a tendency to confuse funkiness with a surfeit of the colour purple, most commonly found in the form of funky purple shawls, funky purple velour fabric pants and funky purple carry bags.

So, in this sense, funky is most certainly not cool. It is not different, interesting or indeed unconventional.

To me, funky hints at hormone replacement therapy, middle aged marital breakdowns and brief flirtations with lesbianism. In this manner, funky people generally end up drinking far too much red wine, becoming angrily teary at the drop of a hat, and is ultimately a bitter and fruitless fusion of finding one's self and cold self-denial.

All dressed in purple, no less.