This will hurt me...

We are all familiar with the de rigueur image of the bon vivant bourgeois doyen of dress tossing about bon mots with élan in a blasé way to every belle and brunette that draws the eye. Imagine the mise en scène : through the milieu you see a mélange of men in a mêlée . No, it’s not a ménage à trios , only one monsieur imagining presenting a montage of himself to some nouveau riche mademoiselles during Mardi gras . The Frogs trade in on this cachet of style, presenting themselves fashionable entrepreneurs , using it carte blanche as they recline on the chaise longue gobbling hors d'œuvres , when in fact they are nothing more than charlatans ! Oh, I know that it is not du jour to say it, but rest assured that today’s ad is but the first in a dossier of disaster. Whether a chauffeur or a clique of chefs en route tp a club, this cliché of chez chic is a shonk ! Consider this communiqué a future concordat a coup (of sorts). Consider this a coup de grace ...

Stretchy? Tick! Flared bottoms? Tick! Terry towelling? Tick! Polyester blend? Tick! Extra snug around the groinal area? DOUBLE TICK? As a man who likes to make things happen , and as the father of two young bucks who like to make things happen ; I've ordered three of these stretch terry jumpsuits (with hoods) in fawn, purple and tawny purple mellow yellow. Photos to come.

As a self-confessed lover of the hills hoist , I can only say that I am bemused by this story in the Sydney Morning Herald coming out the US. The notion that drying one's washing in the sun and fresh air would constitute an act of civil disobedience is insane to me, especially if you factor in the whole kerfuffle concerning human-influenced global warming. The article is well worth a read, and cites New York State, Vermont and New Hampshire as states which limit your ability to dry clothes outside. I particularly like that last line quoting Vermont Senator Richard McCormack: "I so love my country. But I look at [it] from time to time and say to myself, 'This place is insane'." I would be interested to hear how people manage to dry their washing where you are, and if you live in any of the places mentioned, were you aware of these laws? I mean, do people just get on an ignore it and dry their clothes any way they like, or are people actually punished?

I have something to declare up front. I have never worn, and intend to never wear, a necktie. I did wear a bow tie for my Grade 10 school ball sixteen years ago, but it did have a clip, which I think renders it null and void. The history of the necktie can be traced back to the Thirty Year War when Croatian mercenaries in the employ of the French, roused the interest of Parisian high society with their traditional small, knotted neckerchiefs (which were more like cravats, to be honest). From here various kinds of dandies and posers have utilised neck ornamentation of various forms for various purposes, not one of which has any actual utility value. This is the first of two key reasons that I am so opposed to neckties. As a child of modernity, I have embraced the notion of "form following function" in the case of clothing. The necktie, to my mind, stands in the company of high heel shoes and facial piercing. It serves no practical purpose and merely hinders individual perfo...