This will hurt me...

What would a walk in the Tasmanian wilderness be without wildlife? Rubbish, that’s what! After unsuccessfully trying to locate a tiger snake, we did manage to get a look at a pademelon. It was lovely. It went beautifully with the matured cheddar and bottle of Pinot Noir that we bought with us!

Down low at Mawson Place on Sullivan's Cove. I was hiding from a wallaby. Regular readers will know the commitment and ardour that have proven numerous times in the past with regards to highlighting the dangers that within the cold, black hearts of diminutive, cute ‘n cuddly creatures. If there is danger in the world, I’m onto it. Whether we are talking about marauding wallabies harassing old folk or badly-named kids , I’m there. Whether it is depraved seals molesting chaste penguins, I’m there. Whether it is something as ostensibly innocent as a boorish remark from an uncouth parrot , or as serious as neo-Nazi raccoons rampaging across Europe, I’m there. So when I heard about a racoon (I’ve no word as to whether it is sympathetic to Hitler or not) who chomped down on spirited Russian reveller Alexander Kirilov’s trouser snake , I thought “here we go again!” Yet on closer inspection, I must defend the right of this particular raccoon to use all reasonable force to repel the ...

Now, I have spoken at length previously on my distaste for extremists, so I shall not reopen that wound for all to see (and bore you in the process). That said, I could pass over the image of the menacing black and yellow Sea Shepherd anarchist AKTION patrol boat parked just across the road from work this morning. Now – and apologies in advance to all the Sea Shepherds reading out there – every member of that distinguished organisation that I have happened across has turned out to be of a frame of mind that I described in that earlier post. This tendency to drift into preposterous polarities, mutually exclusive ideas, deterministic dialectics (always hidden, excluding the individual doing the ranting, of course), all of which operate not just separate from , but in opposition to , each other. This is great fun when you happen to be in the public policy game and are looking to get a little harmony happening on an issue. They remind me of yet another presentation that I saw the othe...

I have endeavoured to warn the world of the threat posed by rampaging wallabies previously on this blog , but did people listen? Of course they didn't! Some people seem to think that just because they're little, furry, cuddly and herbivores, wallabies are not brutal, godless killing machines . Thank the lord for the good folk in the proud state of Queensland (for our American friends, think Texas, only with cane toads, corruption and slow talking). One of the world's most respected newspapers, The Townsville Bulletin , has lifted the lid on the murky morass that is the moral quagmire of the elderly/marsupial relationship in the Smart State in the year 2008. As the bold graphic in the Bulletin piece says, these cold blooded killers are stalking seniors ! Consider these terrifying facts people: Faeces left on patios, with residents opening their back doors and stepping in it ! A vision impaired old dear was innocently hanging clothes on the washing line, only to discove...

Long-time readers of this blog will know of my commitment to alerting the world of dangerous creatures. Whether it is Argentinian terror-gnomes , Nazi squirrels or sexually aggressive seals , I pride myself in raising global awareness of specific threats. So, naturally my ears pricked up when I heard this tale from Queensland. With what appears to be no recourse to hyperbole whatsoever , colourful local identity Alwyn "Bones" Bailey has described a terrifying attack on his nine year old dirt magnet. Bones told an excited press corps that his presence alone saved the life of son Morgan, who would have been mauled to death by what may have been zombie herbivores, driven by a lust for blood . "It's deadset serious. Someone should get a gun and shoot the buggers," Mr Bailey argued. "They're not just friendly, cute little wallabies any more – they're killers !" "I had to belt him [the rampaging wallaby] across the face twice, then he came ...