This will hurt me...

Ezra is bemused by the whole notion of Australia Day.

There's this little thing that happens this time of year and gets far more coverage than it deserves - and consequently annoys me - the Sydney to Hobart yacht race . Referred to incessantly as the Bluewater Classic in the Australian media, the Sydney to Hobart is little more than the mega-rich (come on, the naming sponsors are Rolex ferChristsake ) in their expensive toys playing soldiers pirates for the weekend and then have the nerve to carp on about how dangerous it all is. If it's so dangerous that you need to go on and on (and on and on and on) about it, don't do it ! If not, then shut the hell up about it. For two bloody weeks, all we get is a bunch of private school-educated prats bathing in the glory of you stupidity bravery while the spend the week after they arrive getting drunk, pissing and vomiting in the streets and harassing the local ladies with their tales of valour, and I for one don't like it !

The statue of Abel Tasman stoically looks upon the Dutch flag on a sunny Hobart day. Of course, this morning it is raining yet again, and Abel is enjoying the chance to have the bird poo washed off his lovely Lutjegasti head. Abel seemed like a good bloke, even if he was a bit of a suck. Upon being the first European to stumble upon this fine island, he promptly named it Van Diemen's Land , in honour of his boss – Anthony van Diemen – head honcho of the Dutch East Indies, a bloke with big dreams and deep pockets who had visions of a grand Dutch empire that would extend into the “Great Southern Land”. So he sent Abel down here in 1642, a good year for most not named Charles I. Despite its obvious charms, the Dutch didn’t think much of the joint. Lazy buggers, the Dutch East India Company reckoned Tasman's explorations were a letdown: he had neither found a promising area for trade nor a useful new shipping route. With no existing thriving communities to leach upon – the Dutch (a...

Is there anything that says AUSTRALIA more than a little bloke chomping down on broccoli and potato? I doubt it! For the title of the previous post, I decided to run with the very famous observation of Samuel Johnson, but in reality, I am inclined to to agree with Ambrose Bierce's observation some century or so later: In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first. The idea of being intensely proud of one's country is always one that has interested me. Now, I like Australia, a lot. I think that it is the best place to live in the world. I think that we have the best food, (plenty of) the best looking sheilas, the best beaches, the best sharks, crocs and easily the best poisonous biting and stinging things. So, you know, we've a lot of things to be proud of. But what we've seen appear is a sort of oddly quixotic yobbis...

Some time ago I revealed my secret that I am a bit of a flag fancier. It was this covert hobby that led to question three in the series of questions that I threw out into the abyss a couple of months ago. The questions were simple: Do you have a favourite flag? Is there a flag that makes you blush at the blatancy of its fashion faux pars? Now it's time to tally the results! Well, there were no clear winners or indeed losers, just a list of favourites and not so favourites. In terms of favourites, we had a couple of people nominate the flag of the United Kingdom, the illustrious Union Jack . Other popular picks were the standards of Israel , China , Botswana , Kenya and Italy . The now-defunct Soviet flag (a favourite of mine, I will admit), also secured a vote, as did the city of Denver , Colorado. But really, like the endless parade of dull karaoke shows that grace our TV sets these days, the real action can be found in the shockers. I was glad that someone supported my embarrass...

I am not too proud to admit that deep down I’m a bit of a flag fancier . Now, this shouldn’t be confused with a flag waver , who have a tendency to annoy me. Similarly, I’ve never died for a flag (as it strikes me as a pretty silly thing to be dying for). But from an aesthetic and sartorial perspective, a flag can make or break a country when it comes to style . A number of years ago (1999?), I was very much amused to find Josh Matthews’ review of all the national flags in the world. I must admit, that I like his method, and think that he makes some very good points. At the very least, clicking the link to see his grading of national flags will give you a compact page featuring all the flags for your perusal. Of course, flags are not limited to countries, so feel free to include sub-state flags if you wish. So with this in mind, please consider my two pronged question of the day: Do you have a favourite flag? Is there a flag that makes you blush at the blatancy of its fashion faux par...