This will hurt me...

Here is the last of the boys with balloons series, and it features the pugnacious pair attached to their respective dirigibles. I have lose plans to take both of them to the beach tomorrow morning, so hope to have some moody shots to share with you all if the cloud persists. Pros and Cons of Toddlers Part FOUR Pro #4: They're TRUSTING . You can have a lot of fun with a toddler. You can tell them that you used to have a pet crocodile, and they'll believe you. You can tell them that dinosaurs died out because they didn't brush their teeth and they'll ooh and ahh and start bushing their teeth. You can tell them pretty much anything, and as long as you keep a straight face, they'll earnestly nod and murmur positive thoughts. Con #4: They're UNTRUSTWORTHY . They lie. All the time. Well, maybe they're not lying, and just have bad memories, but you can't rely on the to consistently hold up their end of a deal. So the next time you bargain half a lolly snake ...

Four on one. I don't like those odds. Here is a little gang warfare, Geilston Bay-style. Even though this image is a universal one, every time I see it I think of Leonard Cohen. Well, I always think of Leonard Cohen, but I usually hear Kris Kristofferson. Or Willie Nelson. Or Johnny Cash. Or Rita Coolidge. Or Fairport Convention. And sometimes - just sometimes - I hear good old Leonard himself. You know it's a good track when there are so many decent covers.

Yes, that's right, Henry climbed all the way up this slight incline mound hill mountain all by himself . He had plenty of motivation. Word on the streets that some old hag pop princess Madonna was spotted in the Lindisfarne area trying to buy stray kids. Given my keeness for early retirement, he better hope that I don't run into her.

Here are the silos down in Salamanca again on a brisk autumn afternoon. I am sick of the sight of those silos, yet I keep taking photographs of them. That is the first sign of my debasement. I need a good dose of revolutionary zeal. I need some consciousness raising. I need a stiff drink. Here, have a poem from a younger version of me. Dialectical Materialism #12 To inhale the feeling that radiated the room was to breathe in visions of tropical beauty, lazy days lying on beaches to taste an unknown something that reached right down into my testicles. Motionless in a darkened corner, my chance had come, but alas, a strange fear gripped me and I could not. I'd have liked to pay some service to your eyes; a deep blue sea raging fiercely on the inside as angels cluster around the blessed iris. And yes I know that I'm the most useless being to have ever walked on this earth. But you will never know how much I wanted you. (I'll never say)

Look at those rippling muscles. Look at that fine hand-eye co-ordination. Look at that steely determination to succeed whatever the cost. This lad has the makings of a champion, mark my words! Pros and Cons of Toddlers Part Three Pro #3: They're FORGIVING . One of my strengths weaknesses is my ability, nay gift , at holding a grudge. Quick to judgement, forgiveness does not come easy for me, as I am a hard taskmaster . While Henry is quick to judge, and sets exceptionally high standards , he is also rapid and absolute in his ability to absolve one of any potential antipathy or resentment. That’s something to admire in a man, I think. Con #3: They're TEMPERAMENTAL . I've already noted Henry's ability to swiftly offer pardon, this is matched by his tendency to violently and impulsively alter his mood and expectations. One minute you can be happily playing a game of chess, the next minute he’s thrown the board out the window and has a broken whisky bottle at your throat....

So it is Theme Thursday again, and when this post appears I shall be sitting at the desk I have photographed above wishing that I was anywhere but here. The theme then, is apt: VACATION . The trouble - of course - is that what I really need is a permanent and everlasting and everlasting one! Two weeks is not enough. Hell, two YEARS is not enough. I want to retire right now! You see, my problem is a familiar tale: I've become alienated from my Gattungswesen . It turns out that Marx was right! I can never truly become an autonomous, self-realised human being, except the way that the bourgeois want me - the worker bee - to be realised. Moreover, I don't blame the capitalist, not at all. My J'accuse! is firmly pointed in the direction of the sort of do nothing do gooders who not only tolerate, but perpetuate mediocrity in their monotonous, wretched and insipid insistence that ‘merit’ equals ‘time served’. I'm jammed stuck inside this stahlhartes Gehäuse - which, inci...

Here is Henry anxiously inspecting an African-inspired sculpture in the Henry Jones IXL building. Suffice to say that he wasn't game enough to take on of her leaflets. Pros and Cons of Toddlers Part Two Pro #2: They're CUNNING . Sure, their cunning is simplistic and often clumsy, but you can't help admire a two year old who manages to adeptly play mother off against father, and father against mother in the cold, clinical pursuit of more sultanas. Con #2: They're CUNNING . You can't trust them. They are entirely driven by the id. The ego hasn't developed enough yet. If you know your Oedipus, you'll know why this is trouble to a father.

I love the river with a bit of dark cloud, the threat of rain and a hint of menace. It always makes for an interesting image. The thing that I miss most about my home town of Burnie is the regular appearance of torrential rain and intense storms with plenty of thunder and lightning. We just don't get enough thunder and lightning here in Hobart, and I demand that somebody do something about it!

To celebrate the disbursement of my stimulus package on a combination of new glasses and a pile of contact lenses to last me into the next millennium, I present to the good folk of the world a photograph of sweet little Ezra doing his impression of an infantryman deep into training (sans barbed wire). Although he remains essentially pre-verbal, I have very little doubt that this fellow will evolve into the epitome of a blandiloquent bachelor , with a lady on each arm and a spring in every step! [Note, I'm trying out a new feature in this post, consider it a 'hidden' word of the day for people to steal and pass of as an example of their own imposing vocabulary. I bet you can't guess today's!]

Here you can see the location of the world famous Hobart Real Tennis Club . No, it's not like Real Madrid, it's Real Tennis, or as I like to call it: Real[ly stupid] Tennis! Even better, the court is located in an old brewery! I have one more thing to say: I DON'T CARE ABOUT BRAD PITT AND I HATE ANGELINA JOLIE SO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP PUTTING THEM ON THE NEWS!!!!

What an embarrassingly late first post for the day. This is what happens when you don't prepare ahead! Above is the Hydro Tasmania building from my favourite angle. The powers that be decided to allow the bigwigs from HQ to spirit me off to Campbell Town for a pow-wow drawn from all of the fiefdoms across the land. Even better, I had my very own slot in this meeting to present my report! Even more better, I don't have a report! I can now see the logic that drove decision-making processes of the powers that be. It is a damn fine thing that I'm not shy and I can string a sentence or two together, lest I make a fool of myself! Anyway, I wrote a poem. thank you thank you for not thinking today about me.

One of the great things about the camera I got for Christmas is the shutter speed option. It makes photographing the toddler all the more easier! Here he is doing laps inside the Henry Jones IXL building. It's a lovely spot, and they've done a great job transforming the old jam factory into a la-de-da yuppie hotspot, but fair dinkum whoever is in charge of the cafe in there needs to work on their customer service! BAH!

Here is the view walking up Murray Street into the sun late in the afternoon. I like the colours in this one, as it feels like autumn even though it is winter AUTUMN [flu + baby + toddler = brain atrophy]. I'm all about list-making at the moment, so I thought that I'd riff on a familiar theme and present to you part one in a new series... Pros and Cons of Toddlers Pro #1: They're CUTE . I know that some dirt magnets have heads on them like half-eaten meat pies, but I think that we all know that MY children are handsome young fellows. This immediately gains you cred points in the general community. Con #1: They're LOUD . As a lover of peace and quite, this has been hard to deal with. Whatever it is that they seem to be doing, they appear compelled to do it at full volume. This can encompass everything from having a bath to picking up toys to reading a book. The one exception seems to be "pouring water on clean clothes". In this sense, when you can't hea...