This will hurt me...

Do you ever just find yourself staring at the sea? If you do, what do you think about? Ugly flags? Dirty spoonerisms? Ideas for better mousetraps? Physically attractive people? Why those fainting goats really do faint? Variations to the lyrics of popular songs that make them funnier? Mick Jagger's strides? Why things that don't work the way they are supposed to don't work the way they are supposed to? Cutting retorts to cruel remarks uttered years ago? The implications of X on Y ? Whether that girl with the short skirt in your grade nine science class was aware that you could see her knickers when she sat on that stool the whole time? Who should play you in a movie? What condiment would best compliment a dolphin burger? Which Veronica you'd kill first? What becomes of the broken hearted? Who'd win a fight out of Sartre and Foucault? What kind of cheese would you be if you had to be a cheese? Just me? Cool.

Spotted on the way to work this morning: a big line of monks – at least I think they were monks – on their way into town. "You don't see that every day", I think to myself, glad that I had the camera on hand. Continuing the theme, off for a stroll and a bit to eat at lunchtime, no monks this time, but there was a bloke in a kilt leading an alpaca that had been imaginatively shaven. Alas for the rest of the world, I didn't have my camera. Sorry.

If you've noticed the header on the blog here, you'll no doubt be shocked to hear that I'm a big time Peanuts fan. Actually, you won't as I've blogged on it before and I know everyone takes a lot of notice of , and puts a lot of stock in , what I have to say. I’m like Moses in that regard. So yesterday evening I discovered that the entire catalogue of Charles M. Schulz's incomparable Peanuts is now available online through Comics.com . How very apt, thought I, as I am currently knee deep in David Michaelis' meticulous (not to mention awfully weighty tome, Schulz and Peanuts: a biography . Delving into every aspect of Sparky Schulz's life – and I do mean every aspect, wink wink , nudge nudge – Michaelis has delivered a must read for any Peanut nut (see what I did there? I don’t even try, it just happens. Genius!) Needless to say, do yourself a favour and get your grubby little hands on this book and set aside some time, at 650+ pages, you'll n...

If I have not already made it abundantly clear, let me just restate what a wonderful little bloke my favourite youngest son is . Ezra is the most easy-going, relaxed fellow in our household, always ready to great you with a smile and a laugh, and has excellent manners for a four month old. So, despite this being the Feast day of St. John Chrysostom , I am happy to announce it Ezra is a top man Day . On other matters, I know that Miles is unhappy about my rough handed treatment of the Nepalese flag, and I just want to say that I understand his frustration. In opting for such a radical design, you can see how Nepal has made a strong play for originality and difference in the whacky world of vexiology. That said , sometimes it does not pay to stand out too far from the crowd. Think about it this way, you see, why is it that Goths , emos and people dressed as Willie Wonka are routinely assaulted in the street? That’s the way I see the Nepalese flag: it’s the goth kid of the flag w...

The furore continues. It is moving so quickly that it is passing me by!

Some time ago I revealed my secret that I am a bit of a flag fancier. It was this covert hobby that led to question three in the series of questions that I threw out into the abyss a couple of months ago. The questions were simple: Do you have a favourite flag? Is there a flag that makes you blush at the blatancy of its fashion faux pars? Now it's time to tally the results! Well, there were no clear winners or indeed losers, just a list of favourites and not so favourites. In terms of favourites, we had a couple of people nominate the flag of the United Kingdom, the illustrious Union Jack . Other popular picks were the standards of Israel , China , Botswana , Kenya and Italy . The now-defunct Soviet flag (a favourite of mine, I will admit), also secured a vote, as did the city of Denver , Colorado. But really, like the endless parade of dull karaoke shows that grace our TV sets these days, the real action can be found in the shockers. I was glad that someone supported my embarrass...

Some people seemed surprised at the photo of my office window that was posted the other day. The office building, you see, is a converted former warehouse that (I believe) was built by convicts (I think) some time ago. Salamanca Place is essentially a splendid row of Georgian sandstone warehouses dating back to the 1830s. Once a street notorious for drunken mobs, prostitutes and rats; it had now been converted into cafes, craft shops, galleries, offices and restaurants. On Saturday mornings, there is a large open air market where you can find some nice fruit ‘n veg (including the world famous Steenholdt organic pears ) in amongst the tea towels, second-hand books and stalls run by rabid environmentalists. On Saturday evenings, it fills with drunken mobs, prostitutes and the occasional rat.

Today's ad is a pearler. Like a lot of advertisements today, it's aimed at the littlies, in this case toothache drops in 1885. Of course, we're not wasting our time with cloves and the like. No, these drops have a bit more of a kick to 'em. Not only was the medicine likely to dull the pain, but help put the user in a "better" mood, fire them up, enhance their sex drive, facilitate some poor choices regarding personal appearance, destroy their marriages and encourage them to make really, really self-indulgent music involving lengthy guitar solos and synthesized horns.

Henry, Ezra, Myself and Werner Herzog (the source of today's title) are all men not afraid of making the odd controversial and inflammatory assertion. As evidenced by the Itsy Bitsy furore, I'm happy to throw the cat amongst the pigeons and lock the gate for my own amusement. I thought that it might be fun to throw out to the crowd ten more outlandish beliefs that have got me into trouble over the past few years. You might even agree with me, or indeed have your own sacred cow to slay in the comments. Feel free to share. After the Beatles split up, Paul McCartney's solo work stacks up more favourably than John Lennon's. Dr Suess's books are tremendously ordinary . I don't think that Barack Obama is entirely sincere. Ian Curtis probably did the world of music a favour. The Dalai Lama is annoying. Robert De Niro equals "one trick pony". New gaming systems (Wii; Xbox, PS3) are infinitely better than the old ones (Atari 2600; Sega Master System; Super Nin...

Bugger the reform process, this has rocked the health and human services/community sector to its very core...

In a hurry, can't stop. Here's a poem! Dawn William Carlos Williams Ecstatic bird songs pound the hollow vastness of the sky with metallic clinkings-- beating color up into it at a far edge,--beating it, beating it with rising, triumphant ardor,-- stirring it into warmth, quickening in it a spreading change,-- bursting wildly against it as dividing the horizon, a heavy sun lifts himself--is lifted-- bit by bit above the edge of things,--runs free at last out into the open--!lumbering glorified in full release upward-- songs cease.

Check out the hands on this lad. He's going to be a biggun, make no bones about that! Ezra, unlike his brother, has been in fine form all week. The less said about Henry, the better. Two year olds really can be quite frustrating . That said, I've pulled out a wise bit of Leviticus (20/9), to keep both of my sons on their toes! After having my thunder stolen by the comments thread, I've had to revise today's post. Yes, I say "Itsy Bitsy Spider", and Jennifer says "Insy Wincy Spider". My personal reading of it, and Hallam's research seems to confirm it, is that somewhere along the way, the Poms decided that they didn't like the sound of the original American "Itsy Bitsy" and went down the "Eeensy Weensy" route. Australians, being Australians, had six o' one, half dozen o' the other and had a bob each way, running with both "Itsy" and mutating "Eensy" into "Insy". A quick fiddle with Go...