So this morning I say to Henry, "you know that the bruise on your cheek makes you look a little like a young Mel Gibson in the first Mad Max movie", and he's all like "whatchutalkinboutwillis", and I'm smirking and ask him where he's picked up the Diff'rent Strokes reference, but he's keeping stum and playing it cool like. So we're circling like lions over a carcass and I tell him that maybe it's a young Mel Gibson in Tim that I'm thinking of and he shoots me a glare that'd cut diamonds and I'm figuring "game, set and match" and strut off like Mick Jagger right after the first chorus of Brown Sugar at the Hollywood Bowl in the early seventies, 'cos, you know, I've just put Gary Coleman Junior in his place an' all. But he ain't havin' none of that and comes at me with a broken whiskey bottle (or maybe it's a banana), and it's on . So we're rolling 'round the floor and there'...