This will hurt me...

Man, if there is one thing that I CANNOT stand, it is war rudeness poverty theft man's inhumanity to man wanton environmental destruction wives who neglect their stockings . C'mon girls, as the ad says, husbands admire wives who keep their stockings perfect . Conversely, husbands detest and abhor slovenly oafs who crash about like drunken moose with ladders from here to eternity. Fair dinkum ladies, check out that look of disgust the dude above is giving his wife while she's there knitting away, completely unaware. She'll only have herself to blame if he starts fooling around with a more careful dame. This message was brought to you in the interests of marital bliss and harmony between the sexes.

Also a long time ago, I knew this other guy who – despite a certain level of physical attractiveness – lacked confidence around women. Compounding this was a seemingly insatiable drive towards extreme and prolonged bouts of desire for beautiful young girls. Of course, he never had the nerve to approach these girls and usually stood across the room from them and stared intently for hours on end while drinking incessantly. He thought it gave him a brooding charm. The young and beautiful girls that I knew found him creepy. In his inebriated state, he routinely took up the challenge of dangerous dares. I remember one time when he climbed up onto a very high roof with a plastic lawn chair. At the top, he tied his legs to the chair, and hopped off the edge. On the way to the hospital, I asked him why he did it. He said, “What was I supposed to do? It was a dare.” I told him that girls weren’t impressed by that sort of carry on and he looked at me forlornly, and then he looked at his hideousl...