This will hurt me...

Here is a boat. I wish that it was a better shot, but the camera can do only so much. If Santa has worked his calculations out correctly, and is on top of correspondence, I may well be in possession of a slightly better piece of equipment the other side of this retched holiday season. On other matters, the other day I was perusing the annual NME top whateveritis albums of the year and was reminded yet again of the cruel march of time. There was a time that I attempted to remain abreast of the comings and goings of the music world. I'd keep an eye (ear?) on the hot young acts, and was generally hip - if somewhat dismissive - to the critically acclaimed artists . Browsing this year's top whateveritis , it quickly became apparent that I hadn't actually heard of , let alone heard the majority of the acts. Despondant, I click back to 2007, and find much the same thing. '06, '05, '03, on and on it goes. Yes, it appears that 1997 was the last year that I could with

Some time ago I promised to post some pictures of the crafty bits and bods Jen has made for the kids over the past couple of years. I figured that I'd best get to it, lest the mob lynch me for failing in my duties. Where possible, I shall link to patterns/designs to do it yourself, where not, I won't! So there... Here is a "Stop the Wailing" t-shirt that has got quite a bit of wear over the time that master Henry has been in possession, he has even managed to let the silvery button that passes for the whale’s eye survive. I would have lost money on that bet.

No, it's not a sad and desperate Roma child who has been cast adrift by the dialectic of history and crushed under the brutal weight of Ceausescu’s contemptible regime. No, it’s the newly shorn Henry after his shower last night! I must admit that I could not choose between the above colour photograph – albeit deliberately ‘washed out’ (itself a canny trick to compensate for the low light) – and the grainy black and white below. On first glance, I consider the colour shot the better image, but I do think that the black and white photo does allow the contrast of light and dark to reveal a little more detail around his face. I dunno. What do you guys think?

Here they all are sitting in Henry’s bedroom this morning. I went in to work late because Henry had an appointment for a haircut and we had some Christmas shopping to attend to. I thought I’d best post this picture as the before for Henry, as none of the few dozen I took after the event turned out publishable. So here you can see Henry with what I like to call his "happy Myra Hindley " look going on. Stay tuned to this station for the after to see the damage! To whet your appetite, revisit the two previous example of Henry stylin’ and profilin’ , in August , and in February .

Another nice one from xkcd .

Sometimes there is nothing more a lad needs than to chew on his mother’s finger for a while. Lately, Ezra has taken it upon himself to chew on whatever he can manage get into his mouth. I am not one to judge, whatever gets him through the night is fine by me. Sometime I wish that all it took was a quick nibble on a finger to make all of my worries melt away, but alas, it is never that simple. With Christmas on the horizon – and my loathing of all things holiday cheer as solid as ever – I have been thinking about something that I can’t quite make a decision on. The issue concerns two grossly obese blokes that can be found in the bus mall at 7:45 every morning. These fellows, without fail, can be spotted eating a gigantic helping of fish and chips each. I can’t quite decide if I admire their enthusiasm, zeal and casual disregard for the judgment of the mob, or whether they disgust me. As always, the very sight of two grossly overweight fellows stuffing their greasy faces full of artery-h

If you can't figure it out, Henry is requesting a " bikkie bear ", which is his own special name for the world famous " Tiny Teddy " biscuit.

Meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings [repeat to fade]. Christmas time is here again and it seems that everybody (and their dog) wants to avoid any actual work and cram in as many meetings as possible. Like lemmings to a flame, they seem secure in the knowledge the holiday period will not satisfy their craving for inspiring [tedious] , engaging [pointless] , high-quality [ghastly] MEETINGS . Being an innovative and resourceful chap, I have already reflected upon this quandary. Out of this contemplation, I have set up a number of structures to meet the gaps that are evident in the upcoming few weeks. Accordingly, I have tabled a number of agendas as follows: Ezra will chair the Quality and Safety Committee. Henry will chair the Children’

Here you can see a little fairy ferry chugging its way down the river on its way (most likely) to the casino. No doubt packed to the rafters with pugnacious poker machine enthusiasts, they’ll surely come chugging back far lighter in the back pocket. Now I will admit that it could be a gaggle of tourists in that fairy ferry. If so, please kindly insert " fanny pack " [snigger, snigger], in place of "back pocket". For some reason, the fanny pack [snigger, snigger] is the article of choice for the modern cruise liner holiday-maker. Young, old, German, American, fanny packs [snigger, snigger] everywhere you look! I am, I will concede, not a fan of the fanny pack [snigger, snigger]. On other matters, and although I should be used to it by now, I will admit to being thrown askew yet again by Hobart’s discouraging manifestation of early summer. Rain, rain, sleet, a little more rain, and some chilly Antarctic winds have necessitated that the woollen socks remain in u

Continuing the X-mas trend with today's advertisement, I have taken inspiration from this ad and decided upon Henry, Ezra and Jennifer's presents this year. Nothing says "celebration of the birth of Christ" like firearms. Pump actions, sawn offs, rifles of all descriptions, sniper scoped beauties; you name it, we're getting it. Imagine the smiles of their sweet little faces as they load up and start firing at each other when the inevitable fights break out! Want some more pie? Well then, you now have a little equalizer that may well persuade Mom and Pop to not be so stingy over the sweets this year. Yes indeed, Daisy will make it a Christmas to remember !

Caught in the act! Here we have a sheepish Henry rapidly exiting the scene of the crime. Your task? What did he do?