This will hurt me...

No, it isn't the Daily Planet (or even the Daily Worker ), it's Hobart's own The Mercury , more affectionately (!) known by the locals as The Mockery . In my mind, the main failing (of many) of this paper is too many "Elderly in Fear!"; "Children at Risk!"; "CORRUPTION!" banners, and not enough "SURFING DOG!"; "SEX ROMP ON MICROWAVE OVEN!"; and "CORRUPT ELDERLY SURFERS IN SEX ROMP WITH CHILDREN!"

In a story sure to shock one Louis la Vache as much as it did I, the front page of today’s Advocate – my home town’s journal of record – shook me to my very core, and prompted me to muse on it. First, the facts as we know them: A dark and stormy night. An unlit road out in the country. A young man in a high powered vehicle. Thirty cows innocent of any crime. A CRASH! So why then, I must ask, this headline? "Man hurt as car hits cows" “Man hurt?!?” FIVE innocent cows killed, and they choose to run with “man hurt”? Unfortunately this is merely the latest in a long line of anti-bovine reportage. It is distressing that the media are not aware of their own biases, and how, constantly, their framing of stories reveal an innate prejudice against cows. When asked for comment, this cow said, “Yeah, the marginalisation of cows is disturbing”. I will not even go into another disturbing facet of the story, other than to say that this quote from the story is equally troubling: “Sgt Lee-...