This will hurt me...

Tora! Tora! Tora! Beware Henry, your prawns are under attack! Ezra favours the aggressive style favoured by the Latvian greats of the early twentieth century, most notably Kārlis Bētiņš. High risk and high reward is the toddler's favourite.

He goes up slide. He does down slide. He goes up slide. He does down slide. He goes up slide. He does down slide. He goes up slide. He does down slide. He goes up slide. He does down slide. Time to go now. He throws tantrum. He goes over shoulder, He goes in car. We go home.

So we've bought this massive great bed for Henry months ago, but he prefers the cot. Meanwhile Ez is stuck in a portacot waiting for the cot to be freed up when hippie hair Henry moves to the big boy bed . I'm thinking Ezra will be in that bed first, myself...

Here's Henry some time back, when his hair was more manageable and I didn't need a shutter speed of 1/500 second to get him. We're gearing up here in anticipation for Ezra's first birthday tomorrow. Word on the street that it is going to be bigger than Ben Hur , the Bicentenary, and the opening of the first McDonalds in Burnie back in 1992. If you were around Burnie in 1992, you will realise just how big that is.

One suspects that this is one of those "He's going to resent this in the future" kind of snaps, but I've decided that I'm posting it anyway. We're a week into what I am calling toilet turkey , a titanic tussle to topple terrible toddler habits; namely, pooing one's pants. But I ask you, does this like a fellow ready to ditch the world of cloth nappies and thrust himself headlong into a world of cisterns, u-bends, bowls and urinals?

Here's another from the Hits 'n Memories basket. This was taken at around the time that Henry started standing up unaided. We're getting serious flashbacks now - to the point that the post-traumatic stress long suspected is almost confirmed - as Ezra begins that constant test of endless attempts to climb into the oven, get his hands on the steak knives, scale up the pantry, rewire the heat pump on and on and on it goes... Oh yes, they look all sweet and innocent with their chubby little thighs, beatific grins and ebullient zest for life. Yet, on a daily basis, this zest takes on an ephemeral quality. All of this want need to learn at every single point through the day wears you down .

Update. Tonight Ezra ate one whole turnip , and one whole Dutch Cream potato . Henry didn't touch his turnip. However, Henry ate a liberal amount of Polish Sausage and a handful of oven baked potato chips . By my calculations, and at this rate, Ezra shall surpass Henry in size and muscle mass in thirteen months , whereupon he will be the one burying the other in the sand at the beach.

Life with a toddle can get - well, let's not mince words - boring. Here's a photo from way back at Easter where Ezra struggles to hide his feelings as yet again everybody stops while Henry goes about in his usual todderiffic way of wandering around aimlessly, chattering away like a mentally ill homeless person.

Look at that neck strength! Look at that control! Amazing! He can roll as well! And the bigger one, he can pee in the toilet! Don't children render you quite stupid? I blame the lack of unbroken sleep.

Check out the hands on this lad. He's going to be a biggun, make no bones about that! Ezra, unlike his brother, has been in fine form all week. The less said about Henry, the better. Two year olds really can be quite frustrating . That said, I've pulled out a wise bit of Leviticus (20/9), to keep both of my sons on their toes! After having my thunder stolen by the comments thread, I've had to revise today's post. Yes, I say "Itsy Bitsy Spider", and Jennifer says "Insy Wincy Spider". My personal reading of it, and Hallam's research seems to confirm it, is that somewhere along the way, the Poms decided that they didn't like the sound of the original American "Itsy Bitsy" and went down the "Eeensy Weensy" route. Australians, being Australians, had six o' one, half dozen o' the other and had a bob each way, running with both "Itsy" and mutating "Eensy" into "Insy". A quick fiddle with Go...

Here I have tried my hand at the homemade sepia-toned photo. I wasn’t happy with the way that the sun had washed out some of the colours in the original, so had a bit of a fiddle because I like the look on Henry’s face, and didn’t want to pass on posting it. I have a tip for those of you burdened with the great, unceasing weight of parenthood. I have a new recipe, in the vein of the quick microwaved chocolate cake . Get this, microwaved potato chips . I gave them a run on Sunday, Henry liked the so much I did it again last night. Tonight, I shall be experimenting with sweet potato. I think that the ground is open for me to exploit opportunities in the swede, turnip, carrot and maybe even explore in the area of pumpkins. Radical, I know. I’m a boundary-pusher by nature. It's pretty simple, take the potato. Slice it thinly (it doesn't have to be too thin, but thin enough). Lay the slices on the microwave plate, whack a bit of salt over the top and nuke the buggers for five minut...

Henry again. I love the little bloke an awful lot, and very much enjoy his company, but by golly he is always 110% full on. There isn’t a lot of down time when he’s awake and firing on all cylinders. Take the scene above: I’ve just spent five minutes setting the baby, but now Ezra is screaming again and Jen is attempting to calm him, I’m cooking dinner, and all I have to do is toss the couscous (ooh err...?) and we are done. I’ve already given the lad a cheesy spaghetti thing that he seems quite taken with. He’s being nice and quite which means “I must check on him”, and wouldn’t you know it, cheesy spaghetti everywhere! That said, I am supremely confident that as he grows, Henry will turn out a fine young man. Dictatorial tendencies aside, he already says "please" and "thank you (well, "ta") unprompted, and has a terribly sweet nature underneath all of the vigour. All we need to do is channel the vitality towards good , rather than evil .

Today’s ad is companion piece to very first one I posted. To be honest with you, there’s not much I can add to the wise words of the Soda Pop Board of America. Click on the picture and read the blurb. I wonder whether this would this pass muster for those advocating new laws on junk food advertising.