A firm rope is needed to keep me at work today, especially given this shocking cough that I seem unable to shake off. These ropes, however, are not shackled to me; rather, they are all that keeps the pirate brig tourist pleasure craft Windward Bound from pillaging the penguins who make Macquarie Island their home. If only I had a rope, however, for I am due in a three hour meeting shortly. Jesus, save me...