This will hurt me...

We are all familiar with the de rigueur image of the bon vivant bourgeois doyen of dress tossing about bon mots with élan in a blasé way to every belle and brunette that draws the eye. Imagine the mise en scène : through the milieu you see a mélange of men in a mêlée . No, it’s not a ménage à trios , only one monsieur imagining presenting a montage of himself to some nouveau riche mademoiselles during Mardi gras . The Frogs trade in on this cachet of style, presenting themselves fashionable entrepreneurs , using it carte blanche as they recline on the chaise longue gobbling hors d'œuvres , when in fact they are nothing more than charlatans ! Oh, I know that it is not du jour to say it, but rest assured that today’s ad is but the first in a dossier of disaster. Whether a chauffeur or a clique of chefs en route tp a club, this cliché of chez chic is a shonk ! Consider this communiqué a future concordat a coup (of sorts). Consider this a coup de grace ...

Are YOU a woman? Do YOU wear a hat? Is YOUR hat tight? WARNING!!! WARNING!!! WARNING!!! Did YOU know that 'physicians' say that tight hats are [probably] responsible for all those bald men that you see? Think of THAT next time you find yourself strolling past the department store and have your fancy tickled by some snug-fitting feathery fascinator!

Completing a dare, Sullivans Cove, June 2010. At least I hope that this bloke is completing a dare. Theme Thursday today, and although I am again rushed off my feet, it isn't too much of a stretch today. You see, I am lucky enough to be armed with a CAMERA for much of the day as I go about the place. Naturally, this affords me ample opportunity to indulge in one of my favourite pastimes, taking the piss . Take the image above, for example. If I didn't have my CAMERA, I would have had to simply describe how badly dressed this fellow was. "Dud haircut, pink singlet, pale grey checked short shorts, shaved legs and boat shoes sans socks" doesn't at all do it justice. With the CAMERA, I can share such a find with the world!

Ezra doing his best impression of a polar explorer. Or 1920s flapper. I can't decide.

Stretchy? Tick! Flared bottoms? Tick! Terry towelling? Tick! Polyester blend? Tick! Extra snug around the groinal area? DOUBLE TICK? As a man who likes to make things happen , and as the father of two young bucks who like to make things happen ; I've ordered three of these stretch terry jumpsuits (with hoods) in fawn, purple and tawny purple mellow yellow. Photos to come.

Man, if there is one thing that I CANNOT stand, it is war rudeness poverty theft man's inhumanity to man wanton environmental destruction wives who neglect their stockings . C'mon girls, as the ad says, husbands admire wives who keep their stockings perfect . Conversely, husbands detest and abhor slovenly oafs who crash about like drunken moose with ladders from here to eternity. Fair dinkum ladies, check out that look of disgust the dude above is giving his wife while she's there knitting away, completely unaware. She'll only have herself to blame if he starts fooling around with a more careful dame. This message was brought to you in the interests of marital bliss and harmony between the sexes.

There was an international triatholon around these parts some weeks ago, and there were these metal railings scattered everywhere around town. I quite liked the formation of these and took a snap. I don't know who won, but I suspect that they were tired. I will admit that I find it depressing when I see the cool teens about town dressed very much in the style of 1986. To my mind, 1986 was a rather bleak period for fashion. Bad hair, too many colour clashes and ridiculous sun glasses. Why any young man would want to walk around looking like Brian Mannix is beyond my comprehension. I certainly would not like to deny the lad his right to do so, but I can't deny my inclination to shake my head at the Joseph and his techicolour vomit t-shirt. But it isn't poor taste that depresses me. Poor taste is pervasive in any era. What depresses me is that for Master Mannix-II, 1986 would equate to 1969 in McCracken lifespan-adjusted years. Am I really that old? Do people my age bore peop...

One for the ladies today. Look at that style . Look at that sophistication . No, it's not a little beauty off the catwalks of Paris or Milan, but that stronghold of style Tennessee! Now you might be forgiven for asking whether or not world famous golfer Julius Boros is the original Harry Highpants ? Whether the answer is in the positive or negative, today’s advertisement makes a case for both the unnaturally high pant and the revolutionary “Tennessee Cloth” ( guaranteed 55%-polyester!) By golly, those polyester pants must be down a treat strutting around the links on a hot Nashville afternoon. But I'll be honest with you folks; I'm not convinced by these pants. I'm not convinced by the material, and I’m not convinced by the cut. But most of all, I'm not convinced that Julius has pulled them far enough up. For mine, if a pant is any less than halfway up to your tie, or it’s not touching your shirt pocket, you really aren't trying hard enough .

I am not too proud to admit that deep down I’m a bit of a flag fancier . Now, this shouldn’t be confused with a flag waver , who have a tendency to annoy me. Similarly, I’ve never died for a flag (as it strikes me as a pretty silly thing to be dying for). But from an aesthetic and sartorial perspective, a flag can make or break a country when it comes to style . A number of years ago (1999?), I was very much amused to find Josh Matthews’ review of all the national flags in the world. I must admit, that I like his method, and think that he makes some very good points. At the very least, clicking the link to see his grading of national flags will give you a compact page featuring all the flags for your perusal. Of course, flags are not limited to countries, so feel free to include sub-state flags if you wish. So with this in mind, please consider my two pronged question of the day: Do you have a favourite flag? Is there a flag that makes you blush at the blatancy of its fashion faux par...

I have something to declare up front. I have never worn, and intend to never wear, a necktie. I did wear a bow tie for my Grade 10 school ball sixteen years ago, but it did have a clip, which I think renders it null and void. The history of the necktie can be traced back to the Thirty Year War when Croatian mercenaries in the employ of the French, roused the interest of Parisian high society with their traditional small, knotted neckerchiefs (which were more like cravats, to be honest). From here various kinds of dandies and posers have utilised neck ornamentation of various forms for various purposes, not one of which has any actual utility value. This is the first of two key reasons that I am so opposed to neckties. As a child of modernity, I have embraced the notion of "form following function" in the case of clothing. The necktie, to my mind, stands in the company of high heel shoes and facial piercing. It serves no practical purpose and merely hinders individual perfo...