This will hurt me...

Moshi Monsters. The kitchen bench, Geilston Bay. August 2013. The Housekeeper and the Professor , Yōko Ogawa: A Japanese novel that intersperses memory with pure mathmatics. I really liked it. B+ . World War Z , Max Brooks: The retelling of the Zombie War as written by the son of Mel Brooks. It was better than the movie sounds. C+ . Out Stealing Horses , Per Petterson: A bittersweet Norweigen bit of nostalgia. The central narrator, at the end of his life, removes himself out to the country and dwells on his memories. It's a restrained but powerful book. I loved it. A+ .

It's time. The living room, Geilston Bay. July 2012. Sunday Top Five time and today I venture into what I am told is controversial territory (it generally isn't in the circles I frequent): My Top Five List Of The Most Stupid Arguments Against Same Sex Marriage! Marriage has been this way for thousands of years, so why change it now? Yes, in much the same way that we’ve not accepted change in the area of equal rights for women or property rights for slaveholders, institutions never change. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they are primarily about furthering the species (i.e. producing children). Yes, much like the laws that we have around forbidding infertile couples from wedding and the compulsory divorces once menopause kicks in. The Bible doesn’t allow it. In the same way as we don’t allow bowl cuts (Leviticus 19:27, "You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads); tattoos (Leviticus 19:28, "You shall not make any cuts in your body for t...

With the prospect of global nuclear war never far away, Ezra and I have been exploring possible scenarios whereby useful everyday items can be rapidly converted into a safe, robust fallout shelter...

Flying foxes have come a long way. Simmons Park, Lindisfarne. October 2011. Today's Sunday Top Five has seen the light and finally embraced a Biblical theme! You may be familiar with many people's favourite section of that rip-roaring book of Leviticus - essentially a book of rules premised on the notion that humans are constantly vulnerable to sin and defilement ; and helpfully lists the kind of ritual and rules that pleases God. For those familiar with the amount of smiting that goes on in the Old Testament, you really don't want to fail to please God. Perhaps the most disgust discussed rule is the hoary old chestnut about man on man action: Leviticus 20:13: And if a man lie with mankind, as with womankind, both of them have committed abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Cripes! In the spirit of such calm, rational and helpful lawgiving, I decided to choose My Other Five Favourite Laws From Leviticus That The Anti-Gay Cro...

Here is the last of the boys with balloons series, and it features the pugnacious pair attached to their respective dirigibles. I have lose plans to take both of them to the beach tomorrow morning, so hope to have some moody shots to share with you all if the cloud persists. Pros and Cons of Toddlers Part FOUR Pro #4: They're TRUSTING . You can have a lot of fun with a toddler. You can tell them that you used to have a pet crocodile, and they'll believe you. You can tell them that dinosaurs died out because they didn't brush their teeth and they'll ooh and ahh and start bushing their teeth. You can tell them pretty much anything, and as long as you keep a straight face, they'll earnestly nod and murmur positive thoughts. Con #4: They're UNTRUSTWORTHY . They lie. All the time. Well, maybe they're not lying, and just have bad memories, but you can't rely on the to consistently hold up their end of a deal. So the next time you bargain half a lolly snake ...

"Must... get... baby..." Urgghhhh... "Must... get... baby..." Arghhhh... "Just a... little... bit... further..." It must be very frustrating when you are beginning to understand the fundamentals of crawling, but you're just not quite there. Even moreso when you finally manage to get your hand on it an an anti-social toddler snatches the prize at the very final second. One day he shall have his revenge. One day...

I figure if I am going to bombard you with some experimental text, you can cope with a bit of fiddling with an odd image. Try and work this one out. Think of this as a poem, but it is rally more a list. Henry squeezed my toe until it bruised. Henry threw a ball at my head. Henry bit me on the arm. Henry hit me with a mallet. Henry pulled my hair. Henry rolled a high chair over my foot. Henry pinched my ear. Henry yelled at me. Henry cried. Henry shouted. Henry wailed. Henry told me that he loved me.

So it is Theme Thursday again, and I am wondering if you can guess the theme? If you guessed one of 'baby', 'computer' or 'mop of hair', you guessed wrong. Today's theme is of course TOY , and my word, don't we have a lot of toys in our house. I would go so far as to say that we have far too many toys. In my day, you were lucky to have a bit of broken glass and a rusty nail wrapped in newspaper to play with (and that had to serve for breakfast and dinner too), so the notion of these kiddies of mine rolling around in a veritable wonderland of rattles, cubes with bells in them, pop up tents, tricycles with needlessly elongated handles, singing (English) pots and pans, plastic animals, plastic rocks, plastic trees, small fisherpeople of indeterminate genders (but definite African ancestry), Apple computers with fiddly keys and balls balls BALLS is somewhat overwhelming. Compounding my distress, every time that I endeavour to shed unnecessary toys, more ...

This is an ad for a toy. That's right, a toy for kids. No jokes. ... Fucking hell .