This will hurt me...

Another ad from those pesky Chinese Communists. This time though, I want you to guess or deduce what this little girl is endeavoring to get the Chinese proletariat to do (or not do, as the case may be). So have a look, have a think, and then highlight over the lines below to see the answer. Please do not spit freely. Spitting freely is neither hygienic nor civilized. How did you do? You're welcome to tell me in the comments if you got it right (or spectacularly wrong).

This little ripper of an ad emerged out of China just as the Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution was kicking off. I suspect that the artist might have had an idea what an angry mob baying for blood might have looked like. The tagline for this campaign is the snappy Resolutely support the American people in their resistance against American imperialist aggression in Vietnam . I especially like how the artist has managed slip in what I expect were a multitude of ‘gags’ to impress his friend. For example, what is Leon Trotsky doing there? In fact, I believe that they have gone with Trotsky as the primary model, and hilariously fused in Stalin’s brow as an unsubtle pop to their Internationalist cousins. And what is with that angry French sailor (I expect he’s from Martinique)? I know that Red China was pretty much a closed state, but those Anglo features and African skin tones really do clash with the Gallic shirt … Added props must also be awarded for sneaking in that Ukrainian kulak...

Happiness and abundance (1983) As I think that we have already established , Chinese Communists are an awfully funny mob . Not for them is the dramatic pose from a muscular proletarian superman, not when you can have fat little kids , plump goldfish and the blooming lotus . The fish is fat, the lotus is fragrant (1987) All over the mother country, glad tidings are spreading (1989)

This week’s ad sees me return to the well trod ground of the Propaganda Department of the Communist Party of China. Indeed, the good folk of the department have proven themselves proficient in the subtle art of subliminally manipulate the ego and will at will. Today’s slogan is a cracker. Light of touch, pithy but not petty, firm but tender. No, it’s one of their best yet ! Yes, it’s about the grog, and utilises a the cunning stunt of a stunning pun… Foster a correct spirit, resist the evil spirit, resist corruption, and never get involved with it.

In all seriousness, every time I revisit these most excellent Communist propaganda posters, I wonder why they lost the Cold War. Today’s poster features the innovative, exceptional and persuasive slogan: Have a happy holiday! Nothing says “happy holidays” like Marx and Engles frolicking in the forest with some joyously cheerful kiddies! It is funny really, when others think about ideas like dialectical materialism , the dictatorship of the proletariat or the concept of relative surplus-value , they envisage dour grey industrialised wastelands and soot-coated agitators. Myself, nothing says the production of absolute and relative surplus-value more than a rosy cheeked cherub picking pansies in fields of flowers.

The copy reads: Foster a correct spirit, resist the evil spirit, resist corruption, and never get involved with it. Say what you like, but modern-day ad execs have nothing on Chinese Communists when it comes to snappy slogans!

Chinese political propaganda two weeks running? Must be something in the water! I couldn't go past this little number from 1982 featuring Lenin, a cat, and some decidedly non-East Asian children (except for the decidedly dodgy-looking scamp in the chequered overalls and dunce's hat). I think that this group represents the best mix of crafty proletarian children; the cunning genius of Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov himself; and the addition of a feline friend positively brimming with Communist Christmas Pride ! Remember, nothing - not even handguns - says "Christmas" quite like the masses against the classes.

Here is a nifty little ad from China circa 1952 with the catchy slogan of " Resolutely cut off the bloody and criminal hand of the American aggressor that spreads germs ". It's something that modern day ads often miss these days: the fine art of subtlety .