This will hurt me...

Okay, which one is the naughty one again?

Flipper, is that you? Melbourne Zoo, Melbourne. April 2011. The seventh seal? Kiss from a rose? United States Navy SE a, A ir and L and team members?' Andre? Seals and Croft? Australian Fur Seal or Kelpie without legs? Melbourne Zoo, Melbourne. April 2011. Something or other...

Just how many tigers are too many tigers? Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. I expect that three or four tigers probably constitutes too many tigers. Once you get beyond a couple, they start to bicker and argue, and the food they require to keep that healthy sheen and lustre to their coat becomes quite expensive. In fact, I’m just about ready to rule out those eight tigers I’ve been bidding for on E-Bay…. Sunday Top Five. Already? I’ve got it! Today’s top five is Five Words That I Commit To Using In Everyday Conversation In The Course Of The Next Week (And That You Should Too)! Anencephalous : “You see, the fundamental problem with that guy is that he is anencephalous. That’s the long and the short of it. Bloviate : “Her tendency to bloviate in times of crisis makes her completely unsuitable for leadership. Gobemouche : “His capacity to immediately identify and bring round every gobemouche in the room makes him a man worth knowing.” Ornery : “Yeah, I know him. He’s a particularly ornery fello...

Check out those smiles! As ever, the boys are rarely happier than when they are atop some mighty steed. In this case, wooden Asian elephants.

Doctor Doctor, help me, I'm seeing stripes ! Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. I like zebras. They look good. They make cute noises. They trot about like show ponies. They have impressive backsides and powerful thighs. There are worse-smelling animals in the world. Yes, if I can swing it, I think that we'll be aiming to get Ezra a zebra for a pet next birth. Zebras keeping an eye out for marauding giraffes. Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. Well, a zebra and a penguin.

It’s becoming increasing more difficult to photograph Ezra without resorting to higher shutter speeds. This is manageable in the warmer months, but is more problematic in the cooler period of the year when the quality of the light decreases. Here and there the novel technique of moving at a similar pace beside the subject (who I believe is still ensconced in toddlerhood, but could be wrong) works, but without a camera dolly and sufficient track to go along with it; results are variable, at best.

The crown jewels? Melbourne Zoo, Melbourne. April 2011. I’ve always been more of a tiger man than a lion . Tigers are bigger, stronger and all-together more fearsome than the frequently lazy lion. They’re better swimmers, better hide-and-seekers, and don’t palm their parenting responsibilities off onto others. How the lion became the signifier of strength and nobility, I’ll never know! Brother, I’ve seen some , Kabir Kabir Brother, I’ve seen some Astonishing sights: A lion keeping watch Over pasturing cows; A mother delivered After her son was; A guru prostrated Before his disciple; Fish spawning On treetops; A cat carrying away A dog; A gunny-sack Driving a bullock-cart; A buffalo going out to graze, Sitting on a horse; A tree with its branches in the earth, Its roots in the sky; A tree with flowering roots. This verse, says Kabir, Is your key to the universe. If you can figure it out. Keeping an eye on the wild dogs. Me...

I believe that he is stuck.

Gorilla in very little mist. Melbourne Zoo, Melbourne. April 2011. On our recent visit to Melbourne Zoo, Henry and Ezra were particularly drawn to the gorillas and the orang-utans. The gorillas in particular seemed a great source of fascination for Henry. He has come over all Diane Fossey on us! In fact, we’re now debating whether or not we might send him off for a year or two to live with the apes. It’s either that or he spends a week with his grandparents…

The crack commando unit that took Bin Laden out... Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. Man, I had all these pre posts written and set to come up automatically, and now they're all gone!

Here’s Henry enjoying the view of the seals at play. Lest you feel that I’m denying my beautiful boy his rightful place in the sun with such a dark photograph, here’s one taken of him in the sun , mounted atop a seal like Jim Pike on Phar Lap. Incidentally, if you’re a fan on similarly geographically-specific and incredibly dated analogies, I do a fine line in Napoleonic-era glassblowers set against 1980s Essendon footballers…

Ezra is an interesting fellow at the moment. We can’t pass any kind of statue, monument or shrine without him wanting to climb up on top and be photographed. It’s an urge that I understand all too well, unfortunately to crushing weight of civility stops me from hopping up on too…

Brown bear, brown bear what do you see? Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. The brown bear can weigh from 300 to 780 kilograms – that’s more than eight times me – and at its largest rivals the polar bear as the largest land-based predator in the world! I see Henry and Ezra and some bloke with a camera. Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. This one is a handsome beast that particularly caught Ezra’s eye. While Ez marvelled at its bulk and dexterity on those rocks, Henry was more taken by the fact that it was eating carrots and lettuce! Ursus arctos, Ursus arctos quis operor vos animadverto? Melbourne Zoo, April 2011.

Echidna on the prowl. Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. No not an enchilada . Nor an anteater . Not a hedgehog . And no, it isn't a porcupine . It is not a practical joke, pincushion or extradimensional being who only can reach Earth's reality through a schism in time and space. It is a monotreme. It lays eggs, but feeds its baby milk. It feeds its baby milk but it doesn't have nipples. It is an echidna . They live in Tasmania, but don't make very good pets.

Seal at play #1. Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. As I might have mentioned previously, we’ve just spent Easter in Melbourne. One of the delights that we took in during our stay was the zoo. Of all the animals on display, I particularly liked the seals Seal at play #2. Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. We got a good look at the Australian Fur Seals , from both above and below. Seal at play #3. Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. It’s a large display, with plenty of space for the critters to swim about the place, in both sun and shade (hence the different tones of the photographs). Seal at play #4. Melbourne Zoo, April 2011. If you do find yourself in Melbourne, and enjoy watching animals at play, you could do worse than a day at the zoo!