This will hurt me...

Down low at Mawson Place on Sullivan's Cove. I was hiding from a wallaby. Regular readers will know the commitment and ardour that have proven numerous times in the past with regards to highlighting the dangers that within the cold, black hearts of diminutive, cute ‘n cuddly creatures. If there is danger in the world, I’m onto it. Whether we are talking about marauding wallabies harassing old folk or badly-named kids , I’m there. Whether it is depraved seals molesting chaste penguins, I’m there. Whether it is something as ostensibly innocent as a boorish remark from an uncouth parrot , or as serious as neo-Nazi raccoons rampaging across Europe, I’m there. So when I heard about a racoon (I’ve no word as to whether it is sympathetic to Hitler or not) who chomped down on spirited Russian reveller Alexander Kirilov’s trouser snake , I thought “here we go again!” Yet on closer inspection, I must defend the right of this particular raccoon to use all reasonable force to repel the ...

I am sure by now that you have all come across the tale of the evil gnome that is terrorising the Argentinian province of Salta. If not, The Sun (UK) has more , although I am not sure if the video of the creepy little person gives me the willies as much as the appalling grammar in their coverage! If The Sun doesn't rock your boat, KUTV in Utah has even more . Now Jennifer has assured me that she saw no evil gnomes during her year in Tucuman, and certainly not on her trip to Salta. She did see a few llamas (or maybe alpacas, she can't tell them apart), but alas, no terror gnomes. But back to the story, at the end of the video clip on the Sun Website, one of the boys unleashes a rather girlish scream. Another teenager, or perhaps the same one, was apparently so scared he had to go to the hospital. No wonder they lost the Falklands War so quickly, no backbone! IT'S A MIDGET IN A DUNCE'S CAP!!!! Oh, and now he has his own website: Terrorgnome.com . Although the answer may b...