This will hurt me...

[Ahem.] No comment.

Aren't you cold. Elizabeth Street in Winter. August 2010. Dolly birds draped about in bikinis. A standard response when you think "Winter in Tasmania". I am looking for ideas. I’m happy to trawl the ‘net for more, but I thought that I’d throw open the comments section for suggestions. What should I write about? Any questions that I should answer? Anything that you’d like me to photograph? The creative well is running dry, and my capacity to draw comics [you know who you are] is limited!

So Theme Thursday again, and I managed to guess the theme in advance. That has not made it any easier to find something to say. After ANIMAL, then VEGETABLE, it was no shock that this week we're talking MINERAL. What do I talk about? What photograph to show? Minerals are everywhere, and in everything! Do I show everything? Nothing? BAH! I could talk about the reliance on mineral exports to China, Japan and (a lesser extent), India, that Australia's economy developed. We used to make stuff with our stuff. Now we sell stuff to other people to make stuff to sell stuff to us. More cheaply, of course. But what photograph? BAH! So I'm looking around the office, for something to photograph. I'm thinking "c'mon, it can't be hard, minerals are everywhere !" Yet in being too common it's just too hard. So I settled on the light right above my head. Figuring that I might get a halfway interesting photo out of it, I take the snap. There has to be a host of mi...

Wow-ee , would you just take a look at that shoe polish! Yes-siree , some mighty fine shoe polish there. Hey, let me have a look at that again [crosses legs uncomfortably]. Hmmmm, a free shine cloth . A free shine cloth you say? Hmmmm, I better have another look at that ad... There is one thing for sure, this advert certainly gets you thinking about shoe polish !

Now ladies (and gents that may be so inclined), please form an orderly queue . Settle petal, there is enough man meat to go around if we just show a little patience. For those hard of sight - or more likely awestruck by the raw sexuality I have placed before you - the text in today's advertisement hits the nails right on the head when it talks about the ultimate fashion climax . Mmmmmm mmm ! I can't possible compete with the original here, so I won't even try. I'll leave it to the stud above to lay it out for you all: Fits so tight it shows all you've got ... you're a walking turn on . And treats your body as well as she does, Easy on, easy off , quick as a flick of her tongue . Sexy cool crinkle cloth for those hot nights to come. Designed with your desires in mind... she'll eat you alive in it . Mmmmm mmm! Hot damn! Somebody get a brother a cold glass of water here! I'm a little disappointed that it's only 50% polyester, but the fact that I c...

Here is the CSIRO's crane set against some ominous-looking clouds. Naughty clouds! Someone asked me the other day if Tasmania had a state nickname, or a state motto. My response was, "I think so". Of course, I had to look it up. A lot of people called us the Apple Isle at one time, but then Mother Britain got rid of all those tariffs protecting our apple industry, so we haven't been much of a dominant force in the world of apples of late. Tasmanian license plates used to proclaim us the Holiday Isle , but then they were changed in the late 1990s to Tasmania - Your Natural State . I know that Tasmanian's are very proud of the complete absence of breast augmentations here, but sticking in on every number plate may be a little over the top! Since early last year, the State have issued number plates expanding upon the theme, with Tasmania - Explore the possibilities now appearing on new plates. We are quite adventurous here in Tasmania ever since the success of the ...

I am kind of lost for words when it comes to today's ad. The kindest thing that I can say is that they image and tagline combination seems somewhat poorly chosen . I know that society is used to the sexualisation of wee bairns in this heady age of Bratz, Brittany and bellbottom trousers [look, I've had a long day, all right, and alliteration sells papers ]. Yet the notion of childlike innocence as a signifier for getting one's horn on , as advanced in the obviously liberal 1970s is off-putting to those of us with [ warning: universal moral judgement coming up ] healthy regard for what is or is not sexy . [Note: the one thing that amused me most about this ad, was the resemblence in make up with some of Bill Henson's models, you know, the ones that were in no way meant to be 'sexy' ...]

You may well be familiar with the maxim “sex sells”. It is a feature of advertising as old as the craft itself, I would suspect. Indeed, I have featured a number of vintage advertisements on this here very blog over the past six months. You might remember Lolita on the comfy bed ; or, Girl next door likes to suck on the most disguising things (and enjoys it!). Who could forget Hot babe in bikini lounges on the beach slowly cooking, but becoming ever more beautiful ; a clean home = frisky husband ; or (a favourite of my Church of Latter Day Saints-splinter group friends) he has a nice tie and a couple of girls on the go . Of course, there is the good old “ treat her mean and keep her keen ” approach; the brusqueness of a beautiful, proud Soviet cock standing to attention ; and the sexy through the ages “ hot babes with even hotter lawnmowers ”. So, despite this technique being as common as the little minx that can be found in the first link, it still jars me ever so slightly to see i...