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The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights.


So Theme Thursday again, and I managed to guess the theme in advance. That has not made it any easier to find something to say. After ANIMAL, then VEGETABLE, it was no shock that this week we're talking MINERAL.

What do I talk about? What photograph to show?

Minerals are everywhere, and in everything! Do I show everything? Nothing? BAH!

I could talk about the reliance on mineral exports to China, Japan and (a lesser extent), India, that Australia's economy developed. We used to make stuff with our stuff. Now we sell stuff to other people to make stuff to sell stuff to us. More cheaply, of course.

But what photograph?

BAH!

So I'm looking around the office, for something to photograph. I'm thinking "c'mon, it can't be hard, minerals are everywhere!" Yet in being too common it's just too hard.

So I settled on the light right above my head. Figuring that I might get a halfway interesting photo out of it, I take the snap. There has to be a host of mineral-related action in the workings of the humble fluorescent tube.

Then I read about it.

Then I realised why I spent most of my high school science lessons trying to look up the skirts of girls sitting on stools opposite.

It's... just... so... [I don't want to say dull]... boring dreary uninteresting technical!

So I will give you the shorthand explanation of the magic of the fluorescent light, slightly sexed up to keep the punters awake.

A fluorescent tube is a gas-discharge lamp that uses electricity to excite mercury vapour. That is, the electric current is all about sexy young electrons getting jiggy with the protons. Man, this little show starts getting our MINERAL (mercury vapour) just a little bit toey and hot under the collar. So, these horny old mercury atoms in their own special way start spitting out short-wave ultraviolet light - the saucy cow that SHE is - then causes phosphor [another MINERAL] to fluoresce, producing visible light.


Oooh baby, STOP! Man, I need a cold shower.

Ain't science grand?

Comments

KL said…
YES, SCIENCE AND MATH IS GRAND AND BECAUSE OF THAT ONLY WE ARE HERE AND AUSTRALIA HAS BECOME SUCH AN EXCELLENT COUNTRY BY EXPORTING - EVERYTHING ULTIMATELY DEPENDED ON THOSE FIELDS RIGHT FROM MINING TO SHIPPING AND GETTING PAID (angry face).

Hehehehe...enough lecture with all those capital letters to get everything across :-P.

I like that picture. It is really abstract and also has a mysterious feeling around it. Nice pic.
Kris McCracken said…
KL, I knew that you would like this one.

Maybe I needed better teachers. They never sexed it up for me. Too many numbers and symbols without concrete concepts for me to cling to.
Colette Amelia said…
I see a little commonality...must be our resource based primary commodity economy.

cheers!
Kris McCracken said…
Colette, AND our relationship with Mother Britain.

Distance and vast, harsh climates (in differing ways, cold vs hot) mean that Canadians and Australians are quite similar.
Doc said…
I need a cigarette.

Doc
Dakota Bear said…
Since I am a retired scientist who dealt with fluorescence I loved it.

No one ever explained it in all the things I read and all the meetings I attended in such a sexy way.

Maybe more people would like science and math, if it was taught in a more jovial manner.
Priyanka Khot said…
You should teach Science... u make it interesting... lolz!
yamini said…
I agree with Priyanka. If you take up teaching science, so many male members of the future generation would spend their time learning more about tubelights, flourescence, minerals, than looking up... you know where!!!
Megan said…
I wonder how many of the homeowners in my part of the world know that they stop owning their land 500 feet below the surface? Not many, I bet. Who reads those dreary & boring old title records anyway?

I do. It can almost be as sexy as science. If I could only explain it the way you do...
Baino said…
Swoon . . I'm off to turn on a light!
Ronda Laveen said…
Thanks for the Reader's Digest version of flourescent lighting. Exciting the Mercury? Oh, stop you tease! Causing the phosphorous to flouresce? Don't jerk my geek string.
Marie Reed said…
You've succeeded in making minerals a hoot!
Mrsupole said…
Oh, my science teachers would be so jealous.

They have a show called "How it is Made" on TV and they were showing how the fluoresent bulbs were made. It was pretty interesting, but nothing like how you explained it.

Hope you had a great shower.

God bless.
Tom said…
now how about a sexy lesson in economics?
Anonymous said…
Now that's a great way to explain it! Loved it :)
Well...it all about the chemistry, isn't it?

lol

Peace
xoxo
Brian Miller said…
lol. if you were my science teacher i never would have fallen asleep. I have a new appreciation now for flourescent lights. wonder what it means when they are flickering?
Ed & Jeanne said…
Of course...sex explains everything...
Wings1295 said…
Very funny post!
Tess Kincaid said…
Loved your sexy take on the mineral theme, Kris! Nice photo, too.
Kris McCracken said…
Doc, THEN you understand science!
Kris McCracken said…
Dakota Bear, I admire scientists, and wouldn't expect them to stoop to may level of cheap populism!
Kris McCracken said…
Priyanka, I have taught Political Science", but that doesn't count.
Kris McCracken said…
Yamini, it really was the combinations of high stools, short skirts and a dull teacher.

I couldn't help myself.
Candie said…
LOL,now that's science I like ;)

you talked about science teacher which reminds me of one I had,she was a lesbian and she would always sat down next to you on your table and..hey see,I'll be a great teacher too :D
Kris McCracken said…
Baino, you like it with the lights on too? Perve!
Kris McCracken said…
Ronda, it is filthy, isn’t it?
Kris McCracken said…
Marie, you wait until I do sulphur.
Kris McCracken said…
Mrsupole, my science teachers would not be surprised.
Kris McCracken said…
The Clever Pup, in a meteorological sense?
Kris McCracken said…
Runmotman, I know a filthy one about Laffer curves…
Kris McCracken said…
Marianna, in ALL ways.
Kris McCracken said…
Brian, I could never sleep with all those short skirts!
Kris McCracken said…
VE, and yet nothing at the same time…
Kris McCracken said…
Willow, any other minerals you’d like to hear about?
Kris McCracken said…
Candiem, dirty science?

A lesbian teacher would have little interest in me.
Reyjr said…
hahaha! too bad my kinda-hot high school Chemistry teacher did not teach like this... lol!
Jaime said…
science - neither interesting nor sexy. i can see why you spent your whole time trying to look up girls skirts in class
You know, chemical reactions can be quite hot!

When I did go to Geology 101 I remember one class consisted of us all calf deep in a river collecting samples..would have been prime time to look up skirts!
Anonymous said…
Let's try that again, with-out the bloggo-monster's interference, please! Kris go here!
Kris McCracken said…
Reyjr, I never had any attractive teachers.

Not one!

I'm still bitter.
Kris McCracken said…
Jaime, it certainly passed the time...
Kris McCracken said…
Subtorp77, very interesting!
Kris McCracken said…
ELW, it sounds like I missed a great opportunity.
tony said…
Sexy Lights!!!!!!
Kris McCracken said…
Tony, stop it, you're making me horny.

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