This will hurt me...

NEWSFLASH Handsome hunks stop traffic with dripping wet strut down centre of highway!

Just what, exactly, are you trying to tell me? St Johns Park, New Town. February 2011. Historically speaking, barbed wire is a reasonably recent invention. Emerging in the 1860s, it is all about inexpensively securing property. At its most straightforward, barbed wire fencing requires only posts, wire, and some kind of fixing device. Even better, any bugger can assemble it! It’s also awfully useful for cleaning your teeth. 50-50 , by Langston Hughes I’m all alone in this world, she said, Ain’t got nobody to share my bed, Ain’t got nobody to hold my hand— The truth of the matter’s I ain’t got no man. Big Boy opened his mouth and said, Trouble with you is You ain’t got no head! If you had a head and used your mind You could have me with you All the time. She answered, Babe, what must I do? He said, Share your bed— And your money, too.

How long before you reckon he can get the whole arm in there?

H for Henry! St Johns Avenue, New Town. February 2011. Primo Levi’s The Periodic Table is a collection of short stories connected by a narrative thread drawn together by the eponymous tabular display of the chemical elements that cursed the lives of many a science student! Levi – a chemist by trade – takes the kaleidoscope of chemistry to create a vision of the synthesis of life. Like most of his books, it is autobiographical in tone, with all 21 stories inspired by a chemical element. To Levi each element had an associative value and he explores its properties and their capacity to drive certain thoughts and trigger specific memories. As a (decidedly) layperson on the chemical front, he does a beautiful job. As with all of Primo Levi’s books, I encourage all of you to get out there and read them. NOW! Another book I’ve finished is Daniel Kehlmann's Fame . All about identity, this is an Austrian page turner filled with overlapping narratives and literary devices. Think League of G...

One day we’re going to swing so hard that we’ll make it all the way over to the other shore!

It seems rather PUBLIC to me. St John’s Avenue, New Town. February 2011. While I understand the necessity of communicating a particular message to specific parties, I am certain that it is unnecessary to shout. Moreover, good manners will get you everywhere sir!

For some reason they opted for that well known taste combination of choc mint and banana. It didn’t seem to stop them. As as special bonus, here's Henry eating his!

Plums? St Johns Park, New Town. February 2011. I don’t have anything, so here is a questionnaire. 1. Is there anything you wanted growing up from Santa that you never got? Probably a swimming pool, but it was always a tough ask. 2. Where is the best place you've ever vacationed? I enjoyed Germany and the Czech Republic very much. 3. Where is your favourite place to go when you need some time to yourself? Myself? Huh…? Probably a beach somewhere. 4. What is the current book you are reading, and your favourite book? As I type this, Victor Pelevin’s The Blue Lantern . I don’t have a single favourite book, but Catch-22 , Lolita , If This is a Man , The Tin Drum , Darkness at Noon , For Whom The Bell Tolls , Things Fall Apart and about thirty others make the short list. 5. What is your favourite element? Nitrogen is always good fun. 6. Do you believe in aliens from other planets and what do you think they look like? Well, logic would suggest that if it could happen on one planet, circ...

It's a hard life. Sometimes you just need a good lie down and your head stroked by mother. Wherever you are...

The north east corner of the Argyle Street Carpark. Argyle Street, Hobart. February 2011. MORE car parks. Ever more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more CAR PARKS. Supplementary car parks. Additional car parks. Further car parks. Elegant car parks. Poignant car parks. Joyful car parks. Crotchety car parks. Futile car parks. Exhausted car parks. Embarrassed car parks. Sad, bitter, twisted, contracted, molested, untested, rejected, elected, suspected car parks. More and more car parks. Every day.

It’s mine! Mine ! All MINE ! Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! [Ahem.]

All quiet on the Withdrawal Unit front… St Johns Park, New Town. February 2011. I can think of a million reasons that you might have a warning alarm outside the Withdrawal Unit, but I think that this is actually something to do with electricity…

It’s the little-known secret to sporting excellence, the art of the tongue !

On your own in a kayak. Opossum Bay, January 2011. What could be finer than to be out on your lonesome with just the sounds of the gently lapping water, a slightly cool sea breeze coming in from the south-east taking the edge of the heavy afternoon sun? The smell of the salt, the sound of a sullen seagull off into the expanse. Nothing but you, some fibreglass and your thoughts to keep you company. I really am going to have to get off my backside and get myself one, aren’t I? So, in honour of this train of thought, today’s Sunday Top Five is The Top Five Places I Would Not Mind Paddling A Kayak Around ! [ Menacing ] Micronesia ! The [ Alarming ] Antarctic Peninsula ! The [ Kal eid osc opic ] Kamchatka and [umm… Kindly ] Kuril Islands ! The [ Deadly ] Danube ! (More of) [ TERRIFIC ] Tasmania !