This will hurt me...

Taken a little after Christmas, here is Henry looking bemused after I reflected upon a tale of lessons learned long ago. Here I found myself and the little bloke standing outside a licensed establishment that sometime ago had a somewhat less than wholesome reputation. I remember one incident clearly, just before closing, with only the tired and emotional flotsam and jetsam that remains after a big night . Of course, at this point flotsam is threatening to smash jetsam's head in with a bar stool over some trifle incident involving the relative merits of Ian Botham over Imran Khan. Kinky Friedman summed up Friday nights like this better than anyone else I can think of when he observed Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly. So this particular Saturday morning was the ugly child of another Friday night when this 'lady' with cut...

Now ladies (and gents that may be so inclined), please form an orderly queue . Settle petal, there is enough man meat to go around if we just show a little patience. For those hard of sight - or more likely awestruck by the raw sexuality I have placed before you - the text in today's advertisement hits the nails right on the head when it talks about the ultimate fashion climax . Mmmmmm mmm ! I can't possible compete with the original here, so I won't even try. I'll leave it to the stud above to lay it out for you all: Fits so tight it shows all you've got ... you're a walking turn on . And treats your body as well as she does, Easy on, easy off , quick as a flick of her tongue . Sexy cool crinkle cloth for those hot nights to come. Designed with your desires in mind... she'll eat you alive in it . Mmmmm mmm! Hot damn! Somebody get a brother a cold glass of water here! I'm a little disappointed that it's only 50% polyester, but the fact that I c...

It amuses me to think that the Liberal Party have had two different leaders since the departure of Mr Howard from Parliament. Although that glorious occasion is rapidly dissolving into the gloomy fog of history, there remains trace elements scattered around the greater Hobart area to remind one of the event. This is but one. Indeed, Mr Howard, LOL!!

You cannot tell me that this is anything but the face of a pure little angel sent from heaven to make us all look bad in comparison. Ever since Ezra arrived on the scene, I find myself searching out all of these magnificent exhibitions and events, but inevitably leave bitterly disappointed . I went to the Louvre, and stormed out and spat on the ground outside in disgust. I went to the Grand Canyon and as soon as we got there I knew it was wrong and just turned right back around and headed home. Finally, I thought that I'd go and see the beauty of the Great Barrier Reef, but the day was a bit overcast, there was a bit of a sea breeze and there were sharks everywhere and honestly, next to Ezra's chubby little thighs and lovely big eyes it was all a bit underwhelming . It is very hard being the father of such a lovely child.

Here you can see a familiar view of the Derwent. I like this one, it's very blue and I do like a nice shade of blue. I once knew a person who was very needy with regards to their demands of a friend. They required constant positive reinforcement with regards to all facets of their approach to life. In turn, they were deeply and hopelessly inadequate in reciprocating these demands. One day, this other person – a mutual acquaintance – set about deliberately and methodically dismantling the first person’s sense of self. He refused to laugh at his jokes. He rebuffed his offers of petit amusements . He aggressively denounced his political beliefs and ridiculed his opinion on the arts. Finally, he seduced, and then callously tossed aside this fellow’s much loved lady friend. Interested, I asked him why he had done all of this, and he replied, “I don’t know, I just felt like it and I thought that it would be funny”. He did make funny noises when he cried. I will admit that. Like a pig. ...

I can't decide: standard brooding, handsome – yet slightly dangerous – Henry [above]; or La Nouvelle Vague cinéma menaçant, attractif - encore un peu dangereux - Henri [below]? I remain slightly tentative about manipulating the photographs that I choose to post here, which is really quite strange because back in the dark ages , when I could regularly be found in a dark room surrounded by the (rather alluring) odour of sodium thiosulfate, acetic acid and all manner of chemical goodness, I routinely experimented with the form. Ink, paint, acid, chalk, varied exposure times, solarisation, I didn’t care. You name it, I’d happy splash it about. So why do I feel like manipulating a digital image is a wee bit wrong? At first I thought that it might well be the ease of digital manipulation, but that’s plain silly. In terms of my foray into ‘traditional prints’, the greatest praise was conferred on a series where I ended up mindlessly flicking coloured ink on some unwanted prints with a st...

Also a long time ago, I knew this other guy who – despite a certain level of physical attractiveness – lacked confidence around women. Compounding this was a seemingly insatiable drive towards extreme and prolonged bouts of desire for beautiful young girls. Of course, he never had the nerve to approach these girls and usually stood across the room from them and stared intently for hours on end while drinking incessantly. He thought it gave him a brooding charm. The young and beautiful girls that I knew found him creepy. In his inebriated state, he routinely took up the challenge of dangerous dares. I remember one time when he climbed up onto a very high roof with a plastic lawn chair. At the top, he tied his legs to the chair, and hopped off the edge. On the way to the hospital, I asked him why he did it. He said, “What was I supposed to do? It was a dare.” I told him that girls weren’t impressed by that sort of carry on and he looked at me forlornly, and then he looked at his hideousl...