Today’s topic, boys and girls, is a deadly serious one. There is no easy or polite way to introduce it, aside from offering a caution for the faint hearted. So here is your warning: if you are easily offended or already aware of the dangers of indulging in a little self-love, please look away now, normal service will resume after the post.
Now that the prudes have all left the room, here is an extract (allegedly) from the French text Le livre sans titre (‘The book with no title’), published in 1844.The title of the panel of pictures is “The Fatal Consequences of Masturbation”, and will no doubt send shudders of fear rippling through people (young and old) the world over. Teenage boys in particular should take note of the cautionary tale.
Now, a bit of research has left me uncertain as to the veracity of the extract. Those in the know seem to think that the language (French) does seem genuine to the time, but whether or not the images and text have not been doctored, I’m uncertain. It’s about a 50/50 chance I would say.
So you be the judge:
What I do know that this probably wouldn’t have been too far out of place in the nineteenth century. Victorian medicine routinely saw masturbation touted as an almost universal cause of everything from insanity to hair loss. One Dr. Reveille Parise was quoted in 1823 as saying
This sound commentary (and much more) can be found in John Harvey Kellogg’s Plain Facts for Old and Young. Yes, the brains behind cornflakes had an overwhelming fear of giving the half-blind dog a run for his money.
One other thing that I have learned for trying to figure out the veracity (or otherwise) of this is the sheer preponderance of websites dedicated to masturbation. Seriously, Google "masturbation" and you get 39 million hits!
Moreover, they are not all filthy, pervert-ridden pages either! You've got Advanced Masturbation for experts; The Ultimate Male Masturbation Resource (Jackin'World.com!) for men and boys of all ages; Let's Masturbate, which features "hints and tips: how to masturbate well" for ladies and gents; and if all of this masturbation is wearing you out, why not have a sit down and a nice cup of tea in the Masturbation Lounge?
Now that the prudes have all left the room, here is an extract (allegedly) from the French text Le livre sans titre (‘The book with no title’), published in 1844.The title of the panel of pictures is “The Fatal Consequences of Masturbation”, and will no doubt send shudders of fear rippling through people (young and old) the world over. Teenage boys in particular should take note of the cautionary tale.
Now, a bit of research has left me uncertain as to the veracity of the extract. Those in the know seem to think that the language (French) does seem genuine to the time, but whether or not the images and text have not been doctored, I’m uncertain. It’s about a 50/50 chance I would say.
So you be the judge:
What I do know that this probably wouldn’t have been too far out of place in the nineteenth century. Victorian medicine routinely saw masturbation touted as an almost universal cause of everything from insanity to hair loss. One Dr. Reveille Parise was quoted in 1823 as saying
In my opinion neither the plague nor war has had more disastrous effects for mankind than the miserable habit of masturbation.
This sound commentary (and much more) can be found in John Harvey Kellogg’s Plain Facts for Old and Young. Yes, the brains behind cornflakes had an overwhelming fear of giving the half-blind dog a run for his money.
One other thing that I have learned for trying to figure out the veracity (or otherwise) of this is the sheer preponderance of websites dedicated to masturbation. Seriously, Google "masturbation" and you get 39 million hits!
Moreover, they are not all filthy, pervert-ridden pages either! You've got Advanced Masturbation for experts; The Ultimate Male Masturbation Resource (Jackin'World.com!) for men and boys of all ages; Let's Masturbate, which features "hints and tips: how to masturbate well" for ladies and gents; and if all of this masturbation is wearing you out, why not have a sit down and a nice cup of tea in the Masturbation Lounge?
Comments
Anyway...I may print off the 'Fatal Consequences of Masturbation' guide and leave a few copies about the Year 9 Homeroom tomorrow to see what the boys have to say!
Seriously though, you've got to admire this little Frenchman's persistence. Teeth gone, hair gone, pustules erupting, etc., he nevertheless carries on to the bitter end.
I wonder what the carbon footprint of a chronic masturbator is? That might explain any peaks and troughs in temperature. We need to get Kelloggs onto this!