Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college

Here we have some clouds. Not just any clouds of course, but very rare Tasmanian clouds. As any proud Tasmanian will tell you, we very rarely get clouds around these parts. We are quite lucky down here at the arse end of the word (thank you Paul Keating), quirks of history, geography and weather have engendered character traits in Tasmanians that are quite profound in both their homogeny and uniqueness.

In general, Tasmanians are very trustworthy; we rarely (if ever) lie, exaggerate or worship false idols. We wash behind our ears every time, and brush our teeth not twice, but three times a day. We love our mothers dearly, and we respect our fathers deeply. Tasmanian men in particular are excellent lovers, kind to their wives and are exceptional fathers. Tasmanian women are a credit to their gender; they smile at the appropriate moments, frown when required, do not talk back to their husbands and benevolent (yet firm) with their children. Tasmanian children are seen, but rarely heard (although when they are, they demonstrate singing voices rich and sweet in tenor and timbre as a rule), they obey their parent’s instructions rigidly, but are not lacking in the possession of rich imaginations and manage to strike a perfect balance between sensitive artistic temperaments and first-class physical conditioning.

But you know, upon reflection, the things that really stand out in Tasmanians; the things that you can expect to find above everything else, is our fundamental decency, and overarching modesty.