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Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge about things without parallel.


There's nothing finer than a shag in the shallows on a public beach! Here is a fine specimen hustling up some grub looking south from Howrah beach mere days ago.

So yesterday you got LOVE, today you get HATE:

1. Most Hated Food: NUTS! Peanuts mainly. Not really a nut I know, but the list of things that can kill me is not a short one: peanuts, pine nuts, almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts, cashews, pistachios, macadamias, and they are just the ones I know about! Vile, detestable things!

2. Most Hated Person: I can't just pick one. I generally don't like people who think and carry themselves as if they are learned or broad-minded when in fact they are as - if not more - ignorant, narrow-minded or judgemental than those they look down upon. Unfortunately, there is no shortage of such people.

3. Most Hated Job: Any job where you find yourself getting lumped with work that should be done by those being paid twice as much as you (and they're off eating cake...)

4. Most Hated City: There are many, many things about Sydney that I don't like. To say Devonport would be too easy.

5. Most Hated Band: Any band who don't deserve their legacy. It isn't a short list, but The Clash and The Ramones are right up there.

6. Most Hated Website: Probably My Space. I don't have epilepsy, but I'm sure I would develop it if I spent any time there. Who designed that thing, people with ADD on LSD?

7. Most Hated TV Program: Something "reality". I'm sure that Big Brother has been named on this meme before...

8. Most Hated Movie: I have loathed everything of Lars von Trier after Breaking the Waves, I don't even have the words to explain how much I detest Dancer in the Dark. Honestly, that film is like an elaborate (bad) joke. [ As a bonus, I'd like to add that, I am sure that there are worse films out there, but by christ I hated Mystic River.]

9. Most Hated Artist: Step forward Mr Damien Hirst! [Please collect your stuffed shag at the door.]

10. Most Hated Book: Catcher in the Rye. Again, there are worse books, but the legacy gets me. The central character is so utterly annoying that I'm still angry he didn't get hit by a bus. Who knew they had middle-class emos in the '50s? Phony...

11. Most Hated Shop: Any place with wankers working in it. I'm sure that I don't shop there because everything is too expensive anyway.

12. Most Hated Organization: There is no shortage, I'll be honest. The Westboro Church are too ludicrous to take seriously, so I'll have to give Al Qaeda the nod. They're like peanuts, they're out to kill me and I didn't do anything to them!

13. Most Hated Historical Event: Given the outcomes, the Treaty of Versailles is probably one I'd like to see be given another run with hindsight.

14. Most Hated Sport: Golf. I feel dirty even calling it a sport. It's like darts featuring less beer and worse trousers.

15. Most Hated Piece of Tech: I have a slightly irrational hatred of the iPod shuffle. It seems so pointless.

16. Most Hated Annual Event: God I hate Australia Day. Anything with flags and patriotism generally makes me feel like vomiting.

17. Most Hated Daily Task: Going to work is never fun.

18. Most Hated Comedian: Look, there are less funny people, and no doubt more annoying people, but the fan boys (and girls) that worship at the alter of Bill Hicks have engendered a deep distaste for his work in me. It's just so obvious. And, forgive me for asking, where are the jokes?

I feel much better for that. Thanks!
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Comments

Baino said…
Cathartic isn't it?
7 June 2009 at 09:46
Roddy said…
Are they hates, or just intense dislikes? To hate something tends to lower ones self esteem. There are pathetic pricks in this world that hate. I hope that you and I are above that.
7 June 2009 at 12:39
Priyanka Khot said…
why do ur lists end at 17? another way to break tradition of round figures?

You had be laughing out loud and almost rolling on the floor with your comparison of Al-Queda to peanuts. Sad that u r allergic to peanuts... several Indian dishes boast of rich peanut content.
7 June 2009 at 14:10
Kris McCracken said…
Baino, I vent quite regularly.
7 June 2009 at 15:11
Kris McCracken said…
Roddy, I hate people who tell me that I'm not supposed to hate.
7 June 2009 at 15:12
Kris McCracken said…
Priyanka, I am told that peanuts have their moments, but they'd kill me. So I hate them.
7 June 2009 at 15:12
lettuce said…
i often see shags in the Thames

shags in Australia seem more appealing...
7 June 2009 at 17:40
Roddy said…
But you love your daddy!
7 June 2009 at 19:09
Kris McCracken said…
Lettuce, I would have thought it would be too dirty to have a shag in the Thames...
7 June 2009 at 19:14
Kris McCracken said…
Roddy, no I love myself.
7 June 2009 at 19:14
yamini said…
I couldn't resist a list on this one:

1) Nos 3, 7, 14, 17: I am in complete agreement with you on these four.

2) Nos 1: Is it that bad? You dnt eat even a single type of nut

3) Nos 10: My choice would be Ayn Rand's Fountainhead ( I may be running the risk of being outlawed here!!) but even after reading the book twice, I couldnt understand why is it praised so much.

4) Nos 13: My most hated historical event would be the partition of India in 1947. We are still suffering the consequences of that one on both sides of the border.

5) Nos 15: Why do u exactly hate iPod Shuffle?
8 June 2009 at 15:55
Kris McCracken said…
Yamini, I hate Ayn Rand. She's certainly not praised here in Australia. A poor writer and a dodgy set of beliefs.
10 June 2009 at 15:39
yamini said…
THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH.

Ever since I came across fountainhead by Ayn Rand, I have made my displeasure known, much to the chagrin of fellow readers, family and friends. Everyone taunted me for not liking the book and its author. I was on the verge of a literary breakdown when your support saved me from going over the cliff.

Thanks a lot.

P.S. I can show ur reply to those who deride me for not liking Rand.... he he he he
10 June 2009 at 18:54
Kris McCracken said…
Yamini, Ayn Rand must have been a very unhappy woman.
17 June 2009 at 14:05
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