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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.


Oh lord, here we are back at Theme Thursday again. It just keeps coming in quicker and quicker...

Above, you can see two blokes happily eating Vegemite sandwiches, checking out the local talent, and no doubt amusing each other with snippets of Foucault’s Discipline and Punish. All the while, the gently SWING in gentle Hobartian breeze.

Of course, a normal person would leave it at that. I had a manageable theme – SWING – I had an appropriate photograph, but no, that won’t do. You see, this week I saw the topic and one thing leaped immediately to mind. What that says about my mind is another matter, as it reveals a sort of degeneracy and perversion that I hope you have come to expect from me by now.

I didn’t think “toddlers in playgrounds”, “the graceful arc of the cricket bat” or indeed “dancers moving in rhythm to the band”.

No, I thought about SWINGING. SWINGERS and the filthy, grubby SWINGING LIFESTYLE.

Now, for the non-swingers out there, SWINGING refers to "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple." Think of it as “Dick and Jane enjoy many things together: long walks on the beach; ornithology; a romantic meal, followed by the latest Meg Ryan film; engaging in sexual relations in the immediate vicinity of others; engaging in sexual relations with other people while watching; or indeed, engaging in sexual relations with friends, strangers, couples, the homeless and who knows what else”.

Of course, the phenomenon of swinging often associated with the sexual revolution of late-1960s and early-1970s, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity that appeared possible by the ready availability of safer sex practices. People became more explorative, inquisitive and broad-minded. Or, to look at in another way, they lost their sense of shame, dignity and devotion.

One of the two anyway.

Now, I’m not one to judge, but I am reasonably certain that the swinging lifestyle is not for me. I am far too jealous committed. My distaste is not rooted [ooh err missus] in any moral or philosophical objections against the notion of swinging itself. Whatever gets you through the night is the extent of my philosophy. That said, I reserve the right to be grossed out by my neighbours, that is the beauty of freedom and democracy.

Let me share with you a tale that expands upon my distaste somewhat. Don’t worry, it isn’t explicit.

A particular esteemed [former] colleague of mine – who also happens to be and occasional [and spiteful] commenter on this very blog – once elbowed me in the ribs in the middle of some interminable training event some years ago and nodded to another participant in the training, and confided to me that she herself (and her husband), were active in Hobart’s vibrant swinging scene. At first I assumed her comment a cruel and malicious yarn, our forte.

However, she insisted that it was indeed true, and that her reasons for conveying this information to me were wholly honourable. She feared that – as fresh meat – I may be vulnerable to her vile and wicked web of debauchery,

Worsening this predicament, the individual in question was known to us by the unkind moniker of “Robber’s Dog” – as she was regrettably equipped with a head that resembled that of a robber’s dog.

That is the thing, you see, SWINGING seems to be the domain of many flabby, greasy, wholly unattractive middle-aged people.

I still see this woman about in a professional capacity, as she has progressed through the ranks.

I shudder every time.

And reject any invitation to dinner.

Comments

Brian Miller said…
always entertaining...the promotion is not worth it. funny stuff man. happy tt!
Priyanka Khot said…
I agree, You are the kind of person who would pass judgment on other people's lifestyle... I belong to the same category especially when it comes to (amoral) topics like Swinging.
yamini said…
What a Theme Thursday that was!!!! the caption, the photograph and the office tale, all gelled well.
My only grouse is that I had to read it almost first thing in the morning and I am yet to start my day at office!!!!!

A few years ago in Bollywood, a movie on the same subject (Swinging) was made, called "Mixed Doubles" and it did well among the audience (that says something about the audience taste too!!! :-)).

I dnt knw whether you watch Hindi films or not but you can try watching it.
Leah said…
Yay! You posted about this sort of swinging as did I. I was waiting to see if someone else did.
Leah said…
You know, degenerate minds truly do think alike...we even had a similar set-up for our degenerate posts. LOL!!!

Interesting though to see the divergence. Vive la Theme Thursday!
Yeah, I agree. I don't get this lifestyle, either. But to each its own. Oh, and why is it that swingers and nudists are an unattractive bunch. lol...
Kavita Saharia said…
They must be very sad people inside...not being able to cherish and appreciate the blessings of life like love,commitment,family .
Many young ,attractive people too are involved....may be it has nothing to do with their physical appearance,age,status...may be more to the unhappiness inside..who knows?
Great post Kris.Love to Henry and Ezra ,regards to Jen...when is Ezras big day?
Ronda Laveen said…
Loved your intro quote for itself and then for the synchronicity to your post.

The bit about doin' it with the homeless strikes home. NO! Not me you perv, although...never mind. Back in the 70's my younger sister--8 years younger--had a friend who got married to this young man. At first the bee-bop-a-lou was great and then he started having trouble. They couldn't have been 30 yet. They started trolling at night for "functional strange" and often found it in homeless men. Back in those days, we weren't so politically correct. We called them bums.

They frequently brought bums home, fed them dinner and drinks and then got them to get it on with the Mrs. while Mr. watched. Eeeeks. See what your post made me recall. That was stuff I hoped I had buried deep, deep, deep.

I am so glad you are able to elude the Robber's Dog's web. She sounds very sticky. Great illuminating "Swing" post.
Tess Kincaid said…
I'm shuddering, too.
Wings1295 said…
hahahaha - Great fun, thanks for sharing your (not so great) memories of "swing"!
Ed & Jeanne said…
Swingers...weird stuff. They do want to recruit, don't they. We've been approached before too. No thanks; not my cup of tea.
Betsy Brock said…
shuddering with the rest of them....
Tom said…
ooog...I think joining a bowling league is much much safer and probably more fun.
Mrsupole said…
Lucky escape for you. I too shudder at the thought. Ronda's story really scares me. Very sad for that to happen. Anyway great story and am so glad you are safe and with your wife and kids and not out on the sheets with the swingers. Ugh!!!

Great story though. Thanks for sharing and God bless.

I like the picture but I have fear of heights and would never be able to do that job.
Colette Amelia said…
I had a home based business at one time and I ended up selling to a swinger...(unknown to me) She then sold it to another woman I knew who told me she found the invoices to the newspaper for ads...now I always wonder if some people may have thought that I was this person...that is if they didn't know I had sold the business...

and you are right she was a very unattractive person.
Baino said…
It's a bit like nudists, they're never the nubile nymphets or manly Adonis' of our dreams,just poorly proportioned old people flagging their flabby bits. Great shot btw
The Silver Fox said…
Nudism isn't something practiced for sexually-related reasons, so nudists shouldn't be expected to be gorgeous specimens of humanity. It's nudism, not nude modelling.

As far as swinging, I've known self-proclaimed swingers who were attractive, and those who weren't. It's just that the attractive ones would probably be more successful in getting converts!
Mrsupole said…
Sorry I meant street not sheet.
Kris McCracken said…
Brian, there are things that I'd do for money, Robber's Dog + greasy husband, however, is not one of those things...
Kris McCracken said…
Priyanka, I wouldn't dare to stop anyone from pursuing whatever happiness they want (obviously within limits like Mill's Harm Principle), but that doesn't mean that some of it strikes me as odd.

I'm not a cultural relativist in that regard!
Kris McCracken said…
Yamini, unfortunately the examples of swinging (that I have had confirmed by those themselves), is that one partner is considerable less enthusiastically than the other. In this sense, it's a case of power dynamics within a relationship. I should add that although in these cases the majority were male-dominated, but not exclusively so...
Kris McCracken said…
Leah, it's a global phenomenon!
Kris McCracken said…
Leah, I had the misfortune to have been approached a number of times as a far younger fellow to engage in less structured swinging. Most times is struck me as a rather desperate attempt at taking the first baby steps towards coming out on behalf of the male partner. As someone who counts plenty of gay men and women as friends, I couldn't help but feel sorry for them and their female partners. This feeling is decidedly UNsexy...
Kris McCracken said…
Liza, good on 'em I say!

I like the notion of nude volleyball, but imagine that it works better in theory rather than practice.
Kris McCracken said…
Kavita, (no 'h' this time!), I guess that excitement comes in different forms for different people. As long as no-one gets hurt, it doesn't really fuss me.
Kris McCracken said…
Ronda, unfortunately I am also familiar with such scenarios. When you consider the statistical prevalence of drug use, blood borne viruses and homelessness; casual sex in this regard sees the stakes raise considerably.

It's a pretty tragic situation all around. I'd hate the think of the emotional dynamic of that relationship.
Kris McCracken said…
Poetikat, one suspects that the more attractive people don't need to trawl so far and wide...
Kris McCracken said…
Willow, she has a daughter not much younger than me!
Kris McCracken said…
Wings, that is fine.
Kris McCracken said…
VE, good luck to them, I say. Barking up the wrong tree here!
Kris McCracken said…
Betsy, as long as they play safe.
Kris McCracken said…
Tom, I dunno, bowling can get nasty...
Kris McCracken said…
Msupole, I wouldn't be great working at great heights either.
Kris McCracken said…
Colette, you're not the same person who...

;)
Kris McCracken said…
Baino, it's too cold for nudists down here. Too much shrinkage.
Kris McCracken said…
Silver Fox, I think you're right there. It's odd, because the attractive people I have known who practice such things avoid describing themselves as "swingers" and prefer the (seemingly) less distasteful notion of the 'open relationship'.

Nudism is an interesting one. I certainly don't associate the concept with unattractive people, merely Germans...
Kris McCracken said…
Mrsupole, both work.
Reyjr said…
Hahaha! and "shudder" I did too. lol!
Kris McCracken said…
Reyjr, I am still shuddering.
Howey said…
i have had sex with my partner and with my friend and his partner it was fine we liked sharing, i do not crawl through the dirty city streets looking for recruits however, if something interesting comes up...im "diving in" so to speak

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