This will hurt me...

Ez does his best Janet Leigh impression. Question for you: colour or black and white?

Tasmanian seagulls and spiders show their appreciation to John Franklin's statue, April 2010. It is one of the [many] downsides to being immortalised in statue, the birds' appreciation. If I am going to be worshipped long after my death, I'd want something a little more classy than a bit of iron for the seagulls to crap on. Maybe a pyramid? The Taj Mahal? A day of the week? How would you want to be remembered?

I'm saying all the things that I know you'll like, making good conversation. I gotta handle you just right, You know what I mean. I took you to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive movie. There's nothing left to talk about, unless it's horizontally. Got it yet?

Fat? Short of breath? Unable to clear hurdles neatly and efficiently? Have you thought about taking up smoking? Actually, this ad is typical of one of the easiest selling techniques around: vanity. If you are hungry, smoke , not eat . Sure, it'll give you cancer, but at least you won't get puffed running laps... ...oh.

Bellerive Oval, Home of the 2009/10 Vehicle & General Australasian Knock-out Competition Coca-Cola Australasian Knock-out Competition Gillette Cup McDonald's Cup FAI Cup Mercantile Mutual Cup ING Cup Ford Ranger Cup champions, the Tasmanian Tigers! March, 2010. The Tasmanian Tigers cricket team were once considered the easybeats of the Australian cricket scene. Ever since Henry arrived, they've had a hard edge to them that has seen them win a couple of Vehicle & General Australasian Knock-out Competition Coca-Cola Australasian Knock-out Competition Gillette Cup McDonald's Cup FAI Cup Mercantile Mutual Cup ING Cup Ford Ranger Cups and one Sheffield Shield Pura Cup Sheffield Shield. He should be getting a commission. By the by, I'm having two wisdom teeth out this morning. That should be fun!

Gold medal winner in the thousand yard stare, New Delhi 2010 .

Drowned trees on the Don River Railway line, January 2010 . ...at least I think that they're drowned. I'm not really a tree man. I know people that love trees. They love trees a lot more than they love people. They love trees more than they love cats and dogs. Some of them love trees more than they love whales and dolphins. Some love trees about the same as they love whales and dolphins. Some love whales and dolphins more than they love trees, but they probably would never admit that. Trees are okay, but they're not high on my love list. I love pizza way more than trees.

You've heard of the "naked chef"? This is the "naked architect". He's working on the scale model of his planned '100% organic eco-residence'.

I miss the sunshine, but there is something to be said for a grey old morning to get the odd interesting shot. Plus, it keeps the tourists down and affords me a better chance at framing an image without gawking. Time for the Sunday Top Five . Today, my Top Five Team Names For A Possible Tasmanian AFL Team ! • The Tasmanian Wombats • The Tasmanian Great White Sharks • The Tasmanian Filthy Rotten Convicts • The Tasmanian Jurassic Dolerite Intrusions • The Tasmanian Vertical Fiscal Imbalance If you can think of something better, or want to endorse one of the above, leave your thoughts over the fold!

WHAT!?!?!?

Salamanca Place, March 2010 . Back in ye olde dayes, Salamanca used to be known for the quality of its brothels, the poor quality of it brothels, to be precise. How things have changed! These day e s, gentrification and la-de-dah-ism means that you won't even find a rubbish brothel! Here's a poem from Auden's later period, 50 cents goes to whoever can guess the ogre. August 1968 , by W. H. Auden The Ogre does what ogres can, Deeds quite impossible for Man, But one prize is beyond his reach, The Ogre cannot master Speech: About a subjugated plain, Among its desperate and slain, The Ogre stalks with hands on hips, While drivel gushes from his lips.

The Orient Express. The Trans-Siberian Railway. The Deccan Queen Express. The Don River Railway. We've done them all one.

Looking through a hole in the back fence, April 2010 . Good Friday, eh? I bet Jesus is wondering what was so good about it!

Cricket season is over, the flowers are wilting, and Henry has discovered the world of dinosaurs!

Thursday morning, seven hundred hours. The job is at hand: hop in the kayak, nip down to the Antarctic, a spell on the Wurlitzer, harass some randy Great Whites, brave the huge swells of the Southern Ocean, nibble on some blubber, chuck some rocks at the penguins, string up a couple of tennis racquets, sing a couple of show tunes, evade some icebergs, ponder the fate of Schrödinger's cat, zig-zag through the squalls, step aside for a quick shandy, head back up the Derwent, and in to work! Are you up for it, or are you YELLOW? Theme Thursday . Like Theme Tuesday, only on Thursday.