This will hurt me...

Here is the little bloke having a spell after climbing three mountains, wrestling three crocodiles, saving three damsels from distress, swimming three miles through shark infested waters, winning three televised presidential debates, eating three double steak sandwiches and chips from Nandos, writing three novels, directing three feature films, stripping down then reassembling three diesel engines, ploughing three fields, baking three cakes, raising three barns, establishing three new religions, winning three game shows and playing with Henry. And it is not even four.

It is Summer in Tasmania, and that usually means two thing: enormous cruiser liners filled with wealthy retirees kitted in gold lamé tracksuits dripping in diamonds; and rain, rain and even more rain . Take a look at these green leaves, can you tell that we're in a drought? I attended a VIM [ V ery I mportant M eeting] today. No cake, no biscuits, no fruit. Just business, and a few thirds of baguettes packed with salad presented lovingly on a platter caked with lettuce leaves. I wish that I had the nerve to take a photograph, but that would risk sending the dogs to the door of this blog, and I'm not sure that I'd want that just yet. You can always tell the difference between a VIM and a CAC [ C asual A ggreable C hat], and it can often be found in the nibblies. One organisation that I deal with regularly cater their CAC s with pizzza (an accommodating mob, they usually go a supremo and capricciosa, which allows me to be generous upon the appearance of that abomination...

There's another art installation in the courtyard below my window at work. Wouldn't you know it, it's another mediation on man's inhumanity to the environment! But really, is there any other kind of art installation in the year 2008? It seems to me that whoever out there accrediting Salamanca artists insist on some "man's inhumanity to the environment" component on public displays these days. I have an idea that I think could be successful: convict built courtyard, two heavy timber posts set into the ground, set in an 'X' arrangement. Get yourself one typical Salamanca artist (not hard to spot, any anaemic-looking vegan in a beret with bad facial hair should do). Strap said artist to the posts and whip them liberally with a cat-o-nine-tails! No convinced? The masterstroke is that the person doing the whipping will be dressed as a penguin/bilby/southern right whale! You see, the penguin/bilby/southern right whale will be extracting revenge for the d...

The little bloke does his full regime of calisthenics each day to ensure that he is as fit and healthy as he is handsome.

So I’m standing at the lights, and these two guys are in some kind of speed boat. Only I think that they were trafficking cocaine, rather than speed. C’mon, they’re not on motorbikes . So I see these dudes, and I’m like, “it’s my duty as a good citizen to stop them going about their destructive ways”. The thing is though, the little red man/woman/citizen is up, and I’m like, “it’s my duty as a good citizen to obey the little red man/woman/citizen”. Torn by the conflicting drives and obligations, I had a little nervous breakdown. After my recovery – and the flight to freedom from our Columbian friends in the speedboat – the little red man/woman/citizen got me to thinking about my favourite variation on the theme, the world famous Ampelmännchen . You might be familiar with the Ampelmännchen tale, the friendly face of East Berlin. Like me, you may have even been to the Ampelmännchen shop and purchased an Ampelmännchen t-shirt. The theory behind Ampelmännchen (are you starting to see h...

People in Tasmania often need reminders scattered about the place that help them remember where it is that they are. The good folks at the Hobart City Council has ensured that anyone utilising Davey Street is more than aware that they're in Hobart, Tasmania and not Tucumán, Argentina . I understand that there has been some confusion about that in the past. My apologies for leaving the post so late, but somehow I have found myself becoming active in my local community , as the newest member of the Geilston Bay Community Centre Board. Miles will no doubt be impressed, driven as he is by local pride . Couple this with asking the hard questions and making some big calls at work today, I must say that today has been a good day, personally and professionally .

Despite everything, I've had a good day today thus far. I'm ticking boxes left, right and centre. Still no cake though...