That Munnalita would have to be the most loathesome individual on TV right now. I take that as a given.
The Biggest Loser thing is getting so bad, that I had a dream about it last night. I went something like this:
Shannan and Michelle briskly jog up to the front door of the white house. Cut to one on one with Michelle:
"I don't know what it was that I was feeling, but something wasn't right."
Shot of Shannon opening the door. Cut to Shannon:
"OH NO! We open the door, and would you believe it!"
Shot of Marty's limp body hanging from the top rail of the staircase. Cut back to Shannon:
"There's Marty, hanging from the staircase. [Excitedly] He's only gone and hanged himself!"
Shot of Marty's eyeballs bulging out. He’s clearly been dead a while. Cut to Michelle:
"There's Marty hanging there, and I could tell he was dead straight away, and man was I PISSED!"
Shot of Shannon and Michelle bewildered standing next to Marty's limp corpse. Cut to Shannon:
"He was dead alright. And right then I just thought that this is gonna DEVASTATE the red team."
Cut to Michelle:
"Marty being dead is really going to devastate the red team."
Shot of Michelle and Shannon briskly jogging up the stairs. Cut to Michelle.
"I had to find the rest of the red team and work out why this had happened."
Shot of Michelle peering into the bedrooms. First she awakes a sleeping Greg, and then Courtney. Cut to Courtney:
"[Smirking] I could tell that something major had happened by the look on Michelle's face."
Shot of Michelle waking up Pati. Cut to Pati:
"[Coyly] Something had clearly happened."
Shot of the red team looking in the other rooms. Michelle announces that Marty has killed himself. Cut to Michelle:
“I told the red team that Marty had killed himself, and I was gonna kick some butt!”
Cut to Courtney:
“[Smirking, but shocked] Marty being dead was a bit of a shock, you know. But then we all look at each other, and we’re thinking, where’s Munnalita?”
Cut to Michelle:
“So I’m like: ‘Where is Munnalita?’”
Cut to Pati:
“We were all thinking, has Marty being dead got anything to do with Munnalita not being here?”
Cut to Greg:
“[In thick Greg accent] It wuz pretty heavy hearing about Marty an’ that. You just didn’t expect it from such a happy guy. He wuz normally so positive.”
Shot of red team all bemused, confused and looking for Munnalita. Cut to Michelle:
“I KNEW that Munnalita must have had something to do with Marty’s decision.”
Cut to Courtney:
“It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Munnalita must have triggered it. [Laughs] People don’t just kill themselves for nothing, and Munnalita has a certain way about her…”
Cut to Pati:
“And then when we all saw it, we just realised that it would have to CHANGE THE GAME FOREVER.”
---Cut to Ad---
---Back from ad---
We see Shannon and Michelle jog up to house, and replays of pretty much everything that was seen prior to the ad break. Cut to Shannon:
“After I got my head around the whole Marty thing [leans forward], I just HAD to get my blue team together.”
Shot of Shannon rushing around waking up Damian, Mel, Jules and Laura (who doesn’t want to get up). Cut to Damien:
“[Sombre] Hearing about Marty was pretty full on. I can honestly say that I didn’t expect that.”
Cut to Jules:
“[Thinking out loud] Marty killing himself was pretty unexpected.”
Cut to Mel:
“[Very serious] It… just… blew me away!”
Cut to Laura:
“[Dabbing tears] I really wasn’t expecting this. I mean, I really need to stay in this house because of my dad and I have to show him the way to deal with… [Voice breaks up and dabs tears] but this bullshit is just too much.”
Shot of Shannon sitting on the floor in front of the blue team sprawled out on the couch. Shannon is speaking:
“What are we gonna do – as a team – about this?” Cut to Shannon:
“[Intense] I KNOW that Marty is one of the red team’s greatest strengths. To have him REMOVED can only HELP the blue team.”
Shot of the blue team all nodding to Shannon speaking:
“Marty being dead is really full on and a shock fellas, but we’ve got to look on the POSITIVE side. We KNOW that he’s one of their strongest members, and if he’s gone, it can only HELP us!”
Cut to Laura:
“[Dabbing eyes and mumbling] We just have to look on the bright side of all this and without Marty, they are weaker.”
Cut to Damien:
“Shannon was right. Marty was one of their strongest, so him being dead really does help us a lot.”
Cut to Mel:
“[Angry] This game is just f*BEEP*d! First P‘eta is thrown out, and now Marty is dead. [Dabs eyes] I just wanna leave, you know?”
Cut to Jules:
“I think that we all wanted to know why Marty had done it. What was he thinking?”
---Cut to Ad---
---Back from Ad---
Recap of everything already seen tonight. 5 minutes later…
Shot of red team all peering into last bedroom. Looks of horror upon their faces. Cut to Michelle:
“[Nodding, with the maddest eyes that could possibly be conjured] It probably wasn’t a shock, really.”
Cut to Pati:
“[Grimacing, trying to find the right words] Munnalita… she has a way about her… [Matter of factly] Marty and Munnalita just didn’t get a long.”
Cut to Greg:
“It wuz just off mate… just OFF! Fully sick mate. FULLY SICK, I tell you”
Cut to Courtney:
“[Very camp] Oh… My… God… I just couldn’t believe it. None of us could believe it. I’m thinking ‘shit, how is this gonna affect the game? How is it gonna affect my place in the game?”
Shot of Munnalita in bed, covered in blood. It looks as if Jack the Ripper has been at work, there’s blood and guts everywhere. Greg looks like he’s going to be sick. Pati has her poker face on. Courtney looks surprised and looks towards Pati with a huge grin. Michelle just looks furious. Cut to Michelle:
“[Angry] I knew it! Not only does Munnalita get herself killed, Marty’s obviously so fired up he’s killed himself as well!”
Cut to Greg:
“[Pulls a face like Gerard eating the sushi] It wuz gross mate. All that blood and guts everywhere. She wuz a big girl that Munnalita, plenty to go about.”
Shot of Michelle storming out of the room. Cut to Courtney:
“[Wide eyed and laughing] Michelle was pissed. I think that Munnalita had obviously pushed everyone too far.”
Cut to Pati:
“[Contemplating] Munnalita… She just… She just didn’t know… [Trails off].”
Cut to Michelle:
“[The mad eyes are back] She ate the chocolate mousse? FINE! She ate the Mars Bars? FINE! She lets the team down in training? FINE! [Shakes her head furiously] But to drive Marty to this…? I don’t know how the red team is going to recover in time for the weigh in…”
*******
Then Henry started screaming and I had to get up and re-wrap the baby.
If only something like this happened in the show.
The Biggest Loser thing is getting so bad, that I had a dream about it last night. I went something like this:
Shannan and Michelle briskly jog up to the front door of the white house. Cut to one on one with Michelle:
"I don't know what it was that I was feeling, but something wasn't right."
Shot of Shannon opening the door. Cut to Shannon:
"OH NO! We open the door, and would you believe it!"
Shot of Marty's limp body hanging from the top rail of the staircase. Cut back to Shannon:
"There's Marty, hanging from the staircase. [Excitedly] He's only gone and hanged himself!"
Shot of Marty's eyeballs bulging out. He’s clearly been dead a while. Cut to Michelle:
"There's Marty hanging there, and I could tell he was dead straight away, and man was I PISSED!"
Shot of Shannon and Michelle bewildered standing next to Marty's limp corpse. Cut to Shannon:
"He was dead alright. And right then I just thought that this is gonna DEVASTATE the red team."
Cut to Michelle:
"Marty being dead is really going to devastate the red team."
Shot of Michelle and Shannon briskly jogging up the stairs. Cut to Michelle.
"I had to find the rest of the red team and work out why this had happened."
Shot of Michelle peering into the bedrooms. First she awakes a sleeping Greg, and then Courtney. Cut to Courtney:
"[Smirking] I could tell that something major had happened by the look on Michelle's face."
Shot of Michelle waking up Pati. Cut to Pati:
"[Coyly] Something had clearly happened."
Shot of the red team looking in the other rooms. Michelle announces that Marty has killed himself. Cut to Michelle:
“I told the red team that Marty had killed himself, and I was gonna kick some butt!”
Cut to Courtney:
“[Smirking, but shocked] Marty being dead was a bit of a shock, you know. But then we all look at each other, and we’re thinking, where’s Munnalita?”
Cut to Michelle:
“So I’m like: ‘Where is Munnalita?’”
Cut to Pati:
“We were all thinking, has Marty being dead got anything to do with Munnalita not being here?”
Cut to Greg:
“[In thick Greg accent] It wuz pretty heavy hearing about Marty an’ that. You just didn’t expect it from such a happy guy. He wuz normally so positive.”
Shot of red team all bemused, confused and looking for Munnalita. Cut to Michelle:
“I KNEW that Munnalita must have had something to do with Marty’s decision.”
Cut to Courtney:
“It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Munnalita must have triggered it. [Laughs] People don’t just kill themselves for nothing, and Munnalita has a certain way about her…”
Cut to Pati:
“And then when we all saw it, we just realised that it would have to CHANGE THE GAME FOREVER.”
---Cut to Ad---
---Back from ad---
We see Shannon and Michelle jog up to house, and replays of pretty much everything that was seen prior to the ad break. Cut to Shannon:
“After I got my head around the whole Marty thing [leans forward], I just HAD to get my blue team together.”
Shot of Shannon rushing around waking up Damian, Mel, Jules and Laura (who doesn’t want to get up). Cut to Damien:
“[Sombre] Hearing about Marty was pretty full on. I can honestly say that I didn’t expect that.”
Cut to Jules:
“[Thinking out loud] Marty killing himself was pretty unexpected.”
Cut to Mel:
“[Very serious] It… just… blew me away!”
Cut to Laura:
“[Dabbing tears] I really wasn’t expecting this. I mean, I really need to stay in this house because of my dad and I have to show him the way to deal with… [Voice breaks up and dabs tears] but this bullshit is just too much.”
Shot of Shannon sitting on the floor in front of the blue team sprawled out on the couch. Shannon is speaking:
“What are we gonna do – as a team – about this?” Cut to Shannon:
“[Intense] I KNOW that Marty is one of the red team’s greatest strengths. To have him REMOVED can only HELP the blue team.”
Shot of the blue team all nodding to Shannon speaking:
“Marty being dead is really full on and a shock fellas, but we’ve got to look on the POSITIVE side. We KNOW that he’s one of their strongest members, and if he’s gone, it can only HELP us!”
Cut to Laura:
“[Dabbing eyes and mumbling] We just have to look on the bright side of all this and without Marty, they are weaker.”
Cut to Damien:
“Shannon was right. Marty was one of their strongest, so him being dead really does help us a lot.”
Cut to Mel:
“[Angry] This game is just f*BEEP*d! First P‘eta is thrown out, and now Marty is dead. [Dabs eyes] I just wanna leave, you know?”
Cut to Jules:
“I think that we all wanted to know why Marty had done it. What was he thinking?”
---Cut to Ad---
---Back from Ad---
Recap of everything already seen tonight. 5 minutes later…
Shot of red team all peering into last bedroom. Looks of horror upon their faces. Cut to Michelle:
“[Nodding, with the maddest eyes that could possibly be conjured] It probably wasn’t a shock, really.”
Cut to Pati:
“[Grimacing, trying to find the right words] Munnalita… she has a way about her… [Matter of factly] Marty and Munnalita just didn’t get a long.”
Cut to Greg:
“It wuz just off mate… just OFF! Fully sick mate. FULLY SICK, I tell you”
Cut to Courtney:
“[Very camp] Oh… My… God… I just couldn’t believe it. None of us could believe it. I’m thinking ‘shit, how is this gonna affect the game? How is it gonna affect my place in the game?”
Shot of Munnalita in bed, covered in blood. It looks as if Jack the Ripper has been at work, there’s blood and guts everywhere. Greg looks like he’s going to be sick. Pati has her poker face on. Courtney looks surprised and looks towards Pati with a huge grin. Michelle just looks furious. Cut to Michelle:
“[Angry] I knew it! Not only does Munnalita get herself killed, Marty’s obviously so fired up he’s killed himself as well!”
Cut to Greg:
“[Pulls a face like Gerard eating the sushi] It wuz gross mate. All that blood and guts everywhere. She wuz a big girl that Munnalita, plenty to go about.”
Shot of Michelle storming out of the room. Cut to Courtney:
“[Wide eyed and laughing] Michelle was pissed. I think that Munnalita had obviously pushed everyone too far.”
Cut to Pati:
“[Contemplating] Munnalita… She just… She just didn’t know… [Trails off].”
Cut to Michelle:
“[The mad eyes are back] She ate the chocolate mousse? FINE! She ate the Mars Bars? FINE! She lets the team down in training? FINE! [Shakes her head furiously] But to drive Marty to this…? I don’t know how the red team is going to recover in time for the weigh in…”
*******
Then Henry started screaming and I had to get up and re-wrap the baby.
If only something like this happened in the show.
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