Old Ads That I Like #10

This is what I believe they call “High Concept” advertising. Very L.A. Here’s how I see the pitch going down: [Warning, this may contain words that offend.]

“there’s this fucken’ monkey right, really freaky lookin’ thing. He sorta looks like these old chinamen that hang about in those opium dens right? And this monkey is probably stoned, off his fucken’ head or something you know man, real far gone kinda deal. Anyway, this monkey's a bit ropey looking, kinda wrong-side-of-the-tracks. He’s on a downer, seen better days and he knows it. He’s probably stolen the bike and on the lam. Yeah, he’s on the run. That’s why he’s goin’ so fast you see. He’s tearin’ down the mountain out the middle of nowhere off his fucken’ head, not a fucken’ care if he lives or dies.

And get this, man (and this is the killer, man), he’s got this parrot with him. Who knows where he’s got it from, but he’s got this god damned parrot! And this parrot don’t look too happy bein’ there right? She’s old, maybe she’s got mange or somthin’ like that. This is the sort of parrot that’s been around a bit ya see, she’s been around the block a few times see? Maybe she’s been perched up on some sailor’s shoulder, been at sea, somehow she’s ended up stuck in some whore’s parlour, watching the filth and the corruption traipse right on through. And somehow she’s with this monkey right? Right? And we’re not sure if she’s really WITH the monkey, or if he’s just ‘with’ the monkey. Can you see it man? Can you see it? Maybe this monkey makes this parrot do stuff. Maybe this parrot just does it. Who fucken’ knows. THAT’S the point, ya see.

And the tagline man, the tagline’s where we’ll really get ‘em. Get this, “We’re having a heavenly time”! Did you catch that man? “We’re having a heavenly time”! This fucken’ wild, fucken’ crazy monkey on a one way journey to hell and some fucken scabby old whore’s parrot and they’re havin’ a “heavenly time”! Once this hits the streets those fucken’ bikes of yours will be flyin’ off the shelves, mark my fucken’ words, I know what I’m talkin’ about, I’ve been in this business a long time.”

Comments

Hold me now, oh hold me now, until this hour has gone around. And I'm gone on the rising tide, to face Van Dieman's Land

Theme Thursday again, and this one is rather easy. I am Tasmanian, you see, and aside from being all around general geniuses - as I have amply described previously - we are also very familiar with the concept of WATER. Tasmania is the ONLY island state of an ISLAND continent. That means, we're surrounded by WATER. That should help explain why I take so many photographs of water . Tasmania was for a long time the place where the British (an island race terrified of water) sent their poor people most vile and horrid criminals. The sort of folk who would face the stark choice of a death sentence , or transportation to the other end of the world. Their catalogue of crimes is horrifying : stealing bread assault stealing gentlemen's handkerchiefs drunken assault being poor affray ladies being overly friendly with gentlemen for money hitting people having a drink and a laugh public drunkenness being Irish Fenian terrorist activities being Catholic religious subversion. ...

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

This is the moon. Have I mentioned how much I adore the zoom on my camera? It's Theme Thursday you see, and after last week's limp effort, I have been thinking about how I might redeem myself. Then I clicked on the topic and discover that it was BUTTON. We've been hearing a lot about the moon in the past couple of weeks. Apparently some fellas went up there and played golf and what-not forty-odd years ago. The desire to get to the moon, however, was not simply about enhancing opportunities for Meg and Mog titles and skirting local planning by-laws in the construction of new and innovative golf courses. No, all of your Sputniks , "One small steps" and freeze dried ice cream was about one thing , and one thing only : MAD Now, I don't mean mad in terms of "bloke breaks record for number of scorpions he can get up his bum", no I mean MAD as in Mutual assured destruction . When I was a young man you see, there was a lot of talk about the type of m...

Ah, Joe, you never knew the whole of it...

I still have the robot on the job. Here you can see the Tasmanian Museum and Art Gallery . And here is a poem: Soliloquy for One Dead Bruce Dawe Ah, no, Joe, you never knew the whole of it, the whistling which is only the wind in the chimney's smoking belly, the footsteps on the muddy path that are always somebody else's. I think of your limbs down there, softly becoming mineral, the life of grasses, and the old love of you thrusts the tears up into my eyes, with the family aware and looking everywhere else. Sometimes when summer is over the land, when the heat quickens the deaf timbers, and birds are thick in the plumbs again, my heart sickens, Joe, calling for the water of your voice and the gone agony of your nearness. I try hard to forget, saying: If God wills, it must be so, because of His goodness, because- but the grasshopper memory leaps in the long thicket, knowing no ease. Ah, Joe, you never knew the whole of it... I like Bruce Dawe. He just my be my favourite Austral...

This will hurt me...

Search This Blog