Don’t Panic! Okay, PANIC!

I give thanks to the eagle-like gaze of true patriots like those at Obscene Desserts, whose alert eyes may well avert future catastrophes for humanity. I should really put them onto the case of the mysterious, yet somehow evil terrorgnome of Salta province!

Yet it is important that vigilant citizens do not get too distracted by the tiny menace of Tucumán teens (how about that for a sentence?). The new threat to society as we know it comes from a far greater evil:

Nazi racoons!

Yes, it appears that an army of militaristic mammals are on the march and threatening Europe in a manner not seen since World War Two. Even worse, these beasts appear to have been handpicked by evil Nazi genius (and sometime cross-dresser) 'Hungry' Hermann Göring! See everyone's favourite paper The Sun for more!

I am almost too scared to contemplate the other evil revealed by all of this: the "Kitler" phenomenon. That is, cats that look like Hitler!

Comments

Ann (MobayDP) said…

lol :) My grandparents used to have a cat that looked like Hitler.LOL.
We called him "Moustache".

25 March 2008 at 23:19

Neva said…

Global warming and all they can worry about are Raccoons???...very funny!
Thanks for the info on the statues I posted today.....I guess googling "Chicago statues" didn't work for me! I appreciate the info...this is why I love blogland!

26 March 2008 at 01:46

Raquel Sabino Pereira said…

LOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

26 March 2008 at 02:34

Kris McCracken said…

You can never be careful with Nazi racoons. I'd also keep a close eye on those Stalin tortoises as well!

Now I'm wondering whether the cane toads currently running amuck on the mainland are Maoists?

27 March 2008 at 08:29

Ah, Joe, you never knew the whole of it...

I still have the robot on the job. Here you can see the Tasmanian Museum and Art Gallery . And here is a poem: Soliloquy for One Dead Bruce Dawe Ah, no, Joe, you never knew the whole of it, the whistling which is only the wind in the chimney's smoking belly, the footsteps on the muddy path that are always somebody else's. I think of your limbs down there, softly becoming mineral, the life of grasses, and the old love of you thrusts the tears up into my eyes, with the family aware and looking everywhere else. Sometimes when summer is over the land, when the heat quickens the deaf timbers, and birds are thick in the plumbs again, my heart sickens, Joe, calling for the water of your voice and the gone agony of your nearness. I try hard to forget, saying: If God wills, it must be so, because of His goodness, because- but the grasshopper memory leaps in the long thicket, knowing no ease. Ah, Joe, you never knew the whole of it... I like Bruce Dawe. He just my be my favourite Austral...

There was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong.

Here is a self portrait. I’m calling it Portrait of a lady in a dirty window . Shocking, isn’t it? However, it is apt! Samhain , Nos Galan Gaeaf , Hop-tu-Naa , All Saints , All Hallows , Hallowmas , Hallowe'en or HALLOWEEN . It’s Theme Thursday and we’re talking about the festivals traditionally held at the end of the harvest season. Huh? No wonder Australians have trouble with the concept of HALLOWEEN. For the record, in my thirty-two L O N G years on the planet, I can’t say I’ve ever seen ghosts ‘n goblins, trick ‘n treaters or Michael Myers stalking Tasmania’s streets at the end of October. [That said, I did once see a woman as pale as a ghost turning tricks that looked like Michael Myers in late November one time.] Despite the best efforts of Hollywood, sitcoms, and innumerable companies; it seems Australians are impervious to the [ahem] charms of a corporatized variant of a celebration of the end of the "lighter half" of the year and beginning of the "darke...

Hold me now, oh hold me now, until this hour has gone around. And I'm gone on the rising tide, to face Van Dieman's Land

Theme Thursday again, and this one is rather easy. I am Tasmanian, you see, and aside from being all around general geniuses - as I have amply described previously - we are also very familiar with the concept of WATER. Tasmania is the ONLY island state of an ISLAND continent. That means, we're surrounded by WATER. That should help explain why I take so many photographs of water . Tasmania was for a long time the place where the British (an island race terrified of water) sent their poor people most vile and horrid criminals. The sort of folk who would face the stark choice of a death sentence , or transportation to the other end of the world. Their catalogue of crimes is horrifying : stealing bread assault stealing gentlemen's handkerchiefs drunken assault being poor affray ladies being overly friendly with gentlemen for money hitting people having a drink and a laugh public drunkenness being Irish Fenian terrorist activities being Catholic religious subversion. ...

This will hurt me...

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