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NEWSFLASH: Nefarious knitters not nabbed! Crafty cabal remain at large.

Some time ago you may remember that I reported on this blog on some rumours that had been heard around the traps of a nascent organisation that fancied themselves as exponents of a new form of the arts and crafts: guerrilla knitting.

Well, one can imagine my surprise to find the following story in today's edition of The Mercury (locally known as The Mockery, the multiple errors in a short colour piece may explain why). As is my want, I have decided to quote liberally from the story titled Woollies warm frozen figures. The intrepid journalist reports:

IT seems this week's cold snap has even forced statues around Hobart to pull on their winter woollies.

Mystery surrounds the appearance of hand-knitted attire on the Heading South statues, on the waterfront near Mures restaurant.

The statue [sic] is a [sic] official tribute to the historic links between the port of Hobart and the Southern Ocean.

The knitwear includes, a dog coat, leg-warmers and a scarf, in purples, reds, greens and blues.

It is not yet known who the artist is, but considerable effort has been put into the work.

Each item has been hand knitted, then hand stitched on to the figures so they can't be removed.


As a blogger noted for his keen nose for truth, justice and the American way of life, I have been contacted by a party/parties that I believe are linked to this enigmatic cabal of unconventional artisans. This afternoon I received a parcel wrapped in plain brown wax paper and tied with twine in my mail box.

Fearing a bomb or anthrax (in my position of plucky political pundit, I have been a fearless critic of both the Mugabe and Chavez regimes), I convinced Henry to open the parcel. Extra cautious, I shielded myself behind my heavily pregnant wife for good measure. Thankfully, the contents were no more threatening than a bundle of photographs with no note, and no return address.

Thus, in the public interest, I have decided to publish two of these earth-shattering images, and also upload one unpublished photograph of my very own.



The first photo appears to show a polar explorer with his trusty hound, holding his very long pole in his hand. You can see that he has been fitted with what appear to be burgundy leg warmers. Atop his hound's head sits a black and white beanie. One assumes that the canine is a husky, but it more closely resembles an overweight kelpie, but it is of no matter to this story. The long pole has also received attention, protected from the frigid air with a lime green warmer that may or may not be a muff.



Another canine, this time outfitted with a tan and blue design (Jenny Kee in more muted tones?) The equal treatment of man and beast raises some question as to the overall intent of the actions of this mysterious band of brigands.



And the coup de grâce of this humble blog is a photograph of my very own highlighting another sortie of the guerrilla knitters completely overlooked by The Mockery (for such sloppy journalism, I can think of no more apt appellation). Taken on the afternoon of Friday the thirteenth of June, one can see four bicycle posts, each with their own individualised outfit. I paid particular note to the cyan and white hooped number of the far right; such verve, such smooth pearl work and neat ends. The craftwork of this piece in particular makes me positively swoon. One can only imagine the tender touch and sweet embrace of such a delicate worker. Oh to spend but a night with them!

Ahem.

I shall keep you updated with any new developments as they come to hand.

Comments

Better then fig leafs.
Kris McCracken said…
I think that fig leaves would only work in very cold weather!

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