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Murderous Marsupials Mercilessly Maul Minor

Long-time readers of this blog will know of my commitment to alerting the world of dangerous creatures. Whether it is Argentinian terror-gnomes, Nazi squirrels or sexually aggressive seals, I pride myself in raising global awareness of specific threats.

So, naturally my ears pricked up when I heard this tale from Queensland. With what appears to be no recourse to hyperbole whatsoever, colourful local identity Alwyn "Bones" Bailey has described a terrifying attack on his nine year old dirt magnet.

Bones told an excited press corps that his presence alone saved the life of son Morgan, who would have been mauled to death by what may have been zombie herbivores, driven by a lust for blood.

"It's deadset serious. Someone should get a gun and shoot the buggers," Mr Bailey argued. "They're not just friendly, cute little wallabies any more – they're killers!"

"I had to belt him [the rampaging wallaby] across the face twice, then he came at me – he had his claws up, shaping up like a little boxing man." [Arturo Gatti? Kostya Tszyu?]

No word on whether younger son, Bodine, was traumatised in the scintillating stoush, although I am willing to be that he will be by his name.

Bonus points must go to that wonderful journal of record, the Herald Sun for their headline:

Killer wallaby fear after boy, nine, attacked.

[A grateful nod to the Defamer Australia website, for the heads up. The lads and I will be on the lookout, as there are a number of rogue wallabies in the Geilston Bay area.]


Here is a photo of Henry and I battling a pair of brutal killers in July of last year. In truth, we were lucky to escape with our lives.
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Comments

Angie said…
A good laugh was just what I needed, glad to have found your blog.....appropriate labeling as well!
5 September 2008 at 22:40
Anonymous said…
hahahahaha Sounds like something the Sun would publish here.
5 September 2008 at 22:41
Miles McClagan said…
Ah, the Herald Sun, the newspaper that thinks Razorback, that film about killer pigs, was a terrifying documentary (and a left wing conspiracy according to Andrew Bolt)
5 September 2008 at 22:51
Kris McCracken said…
Angie, keep visiting!

Mo, the UK Sun is in a world of its own!

Miles, I pick up the Herald Sun from time to time, for a laugh and to check out what people are thinking. They are the best for footy though!
9 September 2008 at 08:31
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