Innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm.

It's still winter which means that we still have our guests parked down outside my work. Yes, the Norweigan-owned (but Australian-leased) Aurora Australis and our French friends on L'Astrolabe are still hanging about waiting for that pack ice to break up before they head back down south to ~~throw rocks at penguins~~ conduct important Antarctic studies.

Time for the Sunday Top Five! Today, I've opted for the not at all clumsy Top Five Countries That If They Were People I'd Invite To A Party:

1) India: they can bring the food.

2) Finland: they can bring the girls.

3) Jamaica: they can bring the groove.

4) The Czech Republic: they can bring the beer.

5) Western Samoa: they can man the door and keep out the undesirables (I'm looking at you Wales...)

Comments

Roddy said…

Do I not notice a hint of bias there somewhere?
It is of course open to ones tastes and preferences.

26 July 2009 at 08:50

Valerie said…

I'm going on another Aurora next week, it's a mite prettier though

26 July 2009 at 21:08

Priyanka Khot said…

Hahahahha.. i like the reason for inviting India. Food is what defines our existence... apart from snake charmers of course.

BTW, what is your take on the Australian govt publishing a guideline for Indian students, who go down under to study?

Most of us up here believe that it is the violent natives who need to be educated.

27 July 2009 at 20:28

Kris McCracken said…

Roddy, I am always impartial.

29 July 2009 at 08:30

Kris McCracken said…

Valerie, never!

29 July 2009 at 08:30

Kris McCracken said…

Priyanka, the saddest part of that whole fiasco is that there are too many unscrupulous expatriate Indians who are happy to exploit the vulnerabilities of their compatriots who often face a difficult time.

29 July 2009 at 09:21

Hold me now, oh hold me now, until this hour has gone around. And I'm gone on the rising tide, to face Van Dieman's Land

Theme Thursday again, and this one is rather easy. I am Tasmanian, you see, and aside from being all around general geniuses - as I have amply described previously - we are also very familiar with the concept of WATER. Tasmania is the ONLY island state of an ISLAND continent. That means, we're surrounded by WATER. That should help explain why I take so many photographs of water . Tasmania was for a long time the place where the British (an island race terrified of water) sent their poor people most vile and horrid criminals. The sort of folk who would face the stark choice of a death sentence , or transportation to the other end of the world. Their catalogue of crimes is horrifying : stealing bread assault stealing gentlemen's handkerchiefs drunken assault being poor affray ladies being overly friendly with gentlemen for money hitting people having a drink and a laugh public drunkenness being Irish Fenian terrorist activities being Catholic religious subversion. ...

But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave.

Can you believe that it is time for Theme Thursday already? Today we are not talking chocolate , toddlers , mess or ignominy . No, today we're dealing with ANIMAL . Now I could have posted a picture of a possum, numbat, wombat, wallaby or any other furry killing machine that roams our fair isle, but I figure that I'd use a far more deadly creature as an example of an animal . Some people - I know them as fools - have chosen to embrace that highfalutin idea that human beans are for some ungodly reason superior to animals. Of course, what these imbeciles seem to forget is that were are simple animals ourselves ! Anyone with a baby, toddler, teenage boy or Queenslander in their household could tell you this. Look at Henry [above]. One chocolate frog in the back of the car on a sunny day and all of a sudden it's Elagabalus meets Bacchus for a quick shandy in the Serengeti and we're down on all fours carrying on like a cat in heat. Fair dinkum, anyone who chooses to ...

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

This is the moon. Have I mentioned how much I adore the zoom on my camera? It's Theme Thursday you see, and after last week's limp effort, I have been thinking about how I might redeem myself. Then I clicked on the topic and discover that it was BUTTON. We've been hearing a lot about the moon in the past couple of weeks. Apparently some fellas went up there and played golf and what-not forty-odd years ago. The desire to get to the moon, however, was not simply about enhancing opportunities for Meg and Mog titles and skirting local planning by-laws in the construction of new and innovative golf courses. No, all of your Sputniks , "One small steps" and freeze dried ice cream was about one thing , and one thing only : MAD Now, I don't mean mad in terms of "bloke breaks record for number of scorpions he can get up his bum", no I mean MAD as in Mutual assured destruction . When I was a young man you see, there was a lot of talk about the type of m...

This will hurt me...

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