Thursday, November 12, 2009

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?


Even the splendid Mount Wellington is blighted by the curse of the phallus. No, it's not a nuclear ICBM primed and ready to put New Zealand back into the stone age. Nor is it a TELEPHONE tower enabling spotty teens to cyber bully the delicate little flowers quivering in front of their tiny keypads. No, it's dedicated to the wonders of television and radio! Without this baby, the good folk of Hobart would have no idea about Falcon the balloon boy, and we wouldn't know that Michael Jackson is dead (or is he...?)

But it is Theme Thursday, and I am not here to talk about television, as the theme is TELEPHONE.

It might not surprise you, but I hate the TELEPHONE [it's number thirty seven on my list]. I hate answering the phone (I generally don't unless I'm getting paid). I hate the way that they ring, buzz, beep and rattle. I hate people that go on about their phones. I hate telemarketers, teleprinters, telegeography. Man, I even hate Telly from Sesame Street.

28 comments:

Tom said...

you are right to hate Telly...of course i can't stand Elmo either. You hate the telephone as much as i hate mail, and bills. How's the tongue doing?

Brian Miller said...

why did you have your tongue so close to the typewriter? at least God seems to have a sense of humor...

not big on the Telephone...much better in person...but only if you are invited...smiles.

Jaime said...

i'm still wondering how you got your tongue stuck in the typewriter too...

i also hate the phone. i hate returning phone calls. i hate endlessly listening to stupid questions and forcing myself to answer them with patience when all i want to do is strangle the person on the other line. i'm in the wrong line of business...

...mmm... said...

Well, I am not a phone person, do not liek to be on the phone and def don;t like it when peopel talk on thier phones whislt driving but hate? That's a strong word I reserve for others things I think.

I find it amazing, btw, that a tower like that can emit all those signals for us all to enjoy.

yamini said...

That is so much hate in one paragraph. Quite out of character for you Kris.
You are generally so loving and kind to the less fortunate. What happened with the telephone?

Ronda Laveen said...

Hmmm, Yamini has a point. Let's see. Sit in a quiet place and breathe. Follow that memory of hating the telephone until you can't follow it any more. What do you see?

Baino said...

I share your dread of the phone. Work will do that to you. And be kind to Sesame Street! 40 years and my 23 year old still sneaks the odd episode! Someone at work asked me if we had a typewriter . needed to fill in a PDF form . . silly man . I pointed him in the direction of Cash Converters.

R.J. Edwards said...

"Curse of the phallus"
LMAO

e said...

I'm with you about hating the phone...now, about the tongue in the typewriter...LOL!

Betsy said...

You could have at least taken a picture of your tongue stuck in the typewriter to give us all a good chuckle. Or do you hate cameras, too? LOL!

otin said...

Do you want to call me and tell me how much you hate phones? lol!

Kris said...

Tom, Telly is an idiot. Elmo, on the other hand, is a great friend of this family...

Kris said...

Brian, ask Woody Allen...

Kris said...

Jaime, having to be polite to stupid people saying stupid things is one of the worst things about the phone.

Wings said...

What did Telly do to you!

And if phone is #37, what the floop is #1???

Kris said...

mmm, phones with cameras I also don't like.

I hate very easily.

Kris said...

Yamini, hate 'out of character' for me?

Hmmmm.

Kris said...

Rhonda, hate is a productive force.

Kris said...

Baino, some people are too stupid for words.

Kris said...

R.J., it is a curse.

Kris said...

e, bloody typewriters!

Kris said...

Betsy, I love cameras, but only behind the lens...

Kris said...

Otin, NO!

Kris said...

Wings, Telly is a bad role model. He's a dil!

JeffScape said...

Maybe there will be a cool Transformer telephone in the next movie.

Nah...

Colette Amelia said...

it seems that men especially are hard wired in from birth to hate the phone.

funny it was invented by man...

Kris said...

Jeff, I hated the Transformers first time around (the annoying cartoon). I've not seen the fillums...

Kris said...

Colette, I always thought that it was invented by a walrus!