If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.
Presenting the latest in Tasmanian technical innovation:
Tasmanian anti-pirate suicide ducks.
In a variation of the disgraceful cultured French practice of Foie gras, the ducks are force-fed nitroglycerine, and then trained to zero in upon - kamikaze style - all vessels bearing the jolly roger.
The testing process has seen some success, with the occasional accident involving children's birthday parties...