All cruel people describe themselves as paragons of frankness.

One of the differences between beaches in Tasmania's north west (the place of my birth and first eighteen years), and beaches in Tasmania's south east (where I've lived for the past - gulp - fourteen [!] years; is the distinct lack of crabs in the south.

I believe that the fellow photographed - in Wynyard - above is the notorious Cyclograpsus granulosus, other wise known as the Rough Shore Crab. They've earned that name by [allegedly] frequenting the tough bars and clubs in the shore and dock districts of Tasmania, picking fights with sailors and frequenting prostitutes.

Tough talking crustaceans are of course not the only difference between north and south. As a general rule, north west men are a) bigger; b) stronger; c) smarter; d) more attractive; e) more virile; f) wittier; g) more adroit; h) more ebullient; and - not least - i) far more modest.

This odd evolutionary (?) quirk may or may not be related to the crab wrestling required from toddlerhood on.