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Christmas has become the rape of an idea


A pair of Streptopelia chinensis larking about at St Johns Park, New Town. December 2010.

Streptopelia chinensis – the Spotted Turtle Dove to its friends – is a pigeon which is a resident breeding bird in tropical southern Asia from Pakistan, India and Sri Lanka east to south China and Southeast Asia. Obviously, you can add New Town to that list!

In fact, my spies (as well as my moles, emissaries, stoolies and informants) tell me that these buggers are spreading at a rate of knots, often to the detriment of our very own native doves. Like the European Wasps and Argentinean Ants, immigrant animals are overrunning us!

Something must be done. We don’t need words, we need ACTION.

Now, I’ve looked into the matter and realise that our detention centres are all full. Offshore confinement won’t work, as the bustards bastards can fly.

Well, I decided to take matters into my own hands and wring these two buggers’ necks. They put up a hell of a fight!

That is our Christmas dinner sorted, at the very least!

Comments

The best remedy is to introduce a larger animal that eats this. If this works, would introduce a new animal to eliminate the latter. If this works, should continue introducing animals, until finally, the introduction of an animal that ends the first to introduce this bird: The Man.
Roddy said…
You should try Fantail. A white dove/pigeon that is much tenderer.
Still, if you're hungry you will eat almost anything.
Kris McCracken said…
MDP, we have tried that in the past...

Roddy, yum!

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