I told my dog / you're not heterosexual bisexual / transvestite transsexual / lesbian or gay / but you seem to do okay

No bells. Atop Hobart G.P.O, Elizabeth Street, Hobart. October 2011.

We have pancakes every Saturday morning, even though I am a fry up kind of guy.

Amoeba, John Hegley

hello amoeba I wish you were my pet
but you're not really big enough to be seen by the vet
are you?
you're a little blob of jelly
you've got no skin and bone
you're not a boy you're not a girl
and you're not on the telephone
I cannot get in touch with you
I cannot pull your leg
you look a bit like a fried egg
you're a long way down the ladder
that evolution trod
but you can eat with your feet
or to be more discreet
obtain food with your pseudopod
and you don't have to have a partner
to start a family
you can multiply by dividing
tra-la-la-la-lee
you don't get up in the morning
because you never go to bed
you've not got any genitalia
but you've got other bits instead
I saw you down the microscope
when I was just a lad
I told my mum about you
and then I told my dog
you're not heterosexual bisexual
transvestite transsexual
lesbian or gay
but you seem to do okay
it isn't rude to be an amoeba
in the nude
is it eh?
you're not so simple
you little protoplasmic pimple

Comments

Roddy said…

No bells. No Hunchback. It is Hobart!

16 October 2011 at 21:19

Kris McCracken said…

There are a few hunchbacks out and about in Hobart.

19 October 2011 at 11:24

Hold me now, oh hold me now, until this hour has gone around. And I'm gone on the rising tide, to face Van Dieman's Land

Theme Thursday again, and this one is rather easy. I am Tasmanian, you see, and aside from being all around general geniuses - as I have amply described previously - we are also very familiar with the concept of WATER. Tasmania is the ONLY island state of an ISLAND continent. That means, we're surrounded by WATER. That should help explain why I take so many photographs of water . Tasmania was for a long time the place where the British (an island race terrified of water) sent their poor people most vile and horrid criminals. The sort of folk who would face the stark choice of a death sentence , or transportation to the other end of the world. Their catalogue of crimes is horrifying : stealing bread assault stealing gentlemen's handkerchiefs drunken assault being poor affray ladies being overly friendly with gentlemen for money hitting people having a drink and a laugh public drunkenness being Irish Fenian terrorist activities being Catholic religious subversion. ...

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

This is the moon. Have I mentioned how much I adore the zoom on my camera? It's Theme Thursday you see, and after last week's limp effort, I have been thinking about how I might redeem myself. Then I clicked on the topic and discover that it was BUTTON. We've been hearing a lot about the moon in the past couple of weeks. Apparently some fellas went up there and played golf and what-not forty-odd years ago. The desire to get to the moon, however, was not simply about enhancing opportunities for Meg and Mog titles and skirting local planning by-laws in the construction of new and innovative golf courses. No, all of your Sputniks , "One small steps" and freeze dried ice cream was about one thing , and one thing only : MAD Now, I don't mean mad in terms of "bloke breaks record for number of scorpions he can get up his bum", no I mean MAD as in Mutual assured destruction . When I was a young man you see, there was a lot of talk about the type of m...

But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave.

Can you believe that it is time for Theme Thursday already? Today we are not talking chocolate , toddlers , mess or ignominy . No, today we're dealing with ANIMAL . Now I could have posted a picture of a possum, numbat, wombat, wallaby or any other furry killing machine that roams our fair isle, but I figure that I'd use a far more deadly creature as an example of an animal . Some people - I know them as fools - have chosen to embrace that highfalutin idea that human beans are for some ungodly reason superior to animals. Of course, what these imbeciles seem to forget is that were are simple animals ourselves ! Anyone with a baby, toddler, teenage boy or Queenslander in their household could tell you this. Look at Henry [above]. One chocolate frog in the back of the car on a sunny day and all of a sudden it's Elagabalus meets Bacchus for a quick shandy in the Serengeti and we're down on all fours carrying on like a cat in heat. Fair dinkum, anyone who chooses to ...

This will hurt me...

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