The difficulty is to try and teach the multitude that something can be true and untrue at the same time.

I shall try not too. Elizabeth Street Pier, Sullivan's Cove. November 2011.

It's Tuesday right? That means another Q and A stolen from Sunday Stealing. This week, The Madness Meme, Part 2 [the madness continues].

23. Do you ever walk around the house naked?
All the time. It’s my house!

24. If you were an animal what would you be? Why?
Erm... I’m pretty sure that I am an animal. Humans can get mighty uppity sometimes about their position in the food chain. If the question was intended to be “If you were a different kind of animal what would you be? Why?”, I guess that I’d say Great White Shark. Why? I dunno. Cruising around. Easting stuff. Sounds cool.

25. Hair colour you like on someone you’re dating?
These things are always going on about ‘dating’. I don’t even know what that means! Is it a euphemism for ‘rooting’? Anyway, I like brown hair on girls.

26. If suffering an injury, would you rather be left blind or deaf?
I really rather not suffer the injury, but if you have a hot poker and simply must jab me; make me deaf, I could do with some peace and quiet.

27. Do you have any special talents?
I was going to say, “annoying my wife”, but that isn’t at all special, because I have two sons who are equally as good at it. Ummm... I think that I am quite good at arguing. I have an annoying (sense a pattern) capacity to zero in on a particular weakness in logic and hammer and bash away at it until the whole superstructure falls down (or the other person dissolves into tears).

28. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
Take off my shoes. Empty my pockets. Take off my watch. Sigh.

29. Do you like horror or comedy?
Comic horror? I like a bit of both.

30. Are you missing anyone?
I’m always missing somebody.

31. Where do you want to live when you are old?
Somewhere by the sea.

32. Who is the person you can count on the most?
Jennifer.

33. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
Again with the dating! Are we talking ‘dating’ in the euphemistic sense (see question 25)? If so, you’d have to go for some real goer like Catherine the Great or something. If you’re talking about ‘dating’ as in “go out for a meal” or something, I dunno, Germaine Greer. I like a challenge...

34. What did you dream last night?
Something sexy. It involved dating. Dating all over the shop. Nonstop dating!

35. What is your favourite sport to watch?
On TV or in person? I’ve not had a lot of time for watching sport in the last five years. I’m looking forward to Henry starting Auskick or little athletics.

36. Are you named after anyone?
Not that I know of.

37. What is your favourite alcoholic drink?
I like a nice cider. Tasmania has a lot of nice ciders.

38. Non-alcoholic drink?
Water is good.

39. Have you ever been in love?
I still am!

40. Do you sing in the shower?
Of course. I like to substitute the words of popular songs with my own. It is very amusing.

41. Have you ever been arrested?
Indeed I have.

42. What is your favourite Holiday?
Well, we don’t get the day off for International Women’s Day, so I can’t say that. I like any holiday that has a chance of sunshine and a trip to the beach. How about Regatta Day?

43. Would you ever get plastic surgery?
If I needed it, yeah. Now, if you’re talking purely ‘cosmetic surgery’, not a chance.

44. Have you ever caught a fish?
Why yes, yes I have.

Hold me now, oh hold me now, until this hour has gone around. And I'm gone on the rising tide, to face Van Dieman's Land

Theme Thursday again, and this one is rather easy. I am Tasmanian, you see, and aside from being all around general geniuses - as I have amply described previously - we are also very familiar with the concept of WATER. Tasmania is the ONLY island state of an ISLAND continent. That means, we're surrounded by WATER. That should help explain why I take so many photographs of water . Tasmania was for a long time the place where the British (an island race terrified of water) sent their poor people most vile and horrid criminals. The sort of folk who would face the stark choice of a death sentence , or transportation to the other end of the world. Their catalogue of crimes is horrifying : stealing bread assault stealing gentlemen's handkerchiefs drunken assault being poor affray ladies being overly friendly with gentlemen for money hitting people having a drink and a laugh public drunkenness being Irish Fenian terrorist activities being Catholic religious subversion. ...

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

This is the moon. Have I mentioned how much I adore the zoom on my camera? It's Theme Thursday you see, and after last week's limp effort, I have been thinking about how I might redeem myself. Then I clicked on the topic and discover that it was BUTTON. We've been hearing a lot about the moon in the past couple of weeks. Apparently some fellas went up there and played golf and what-not forty-odd years ago. The desire to get to the moon, however, was not simply about enhancing opportunities for Meg and Mog titles and skirting local planning by-laws in the construction of new and innovative golf courses. No, all of your Sputniks , "One small steps" and freeze dried ice cream was about one thing , and one thing only : MAD Now, I don't mean mad in terms of "bloke breaks record for number of scorpions he can get up his bum", no I mean MAD as in Mutual assured destruction . When I was a young man you see, there was a lot of talk about the type of m...

But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave.

Can you believe that it is time for Theme Thursday already? Today we are not talking chocolate , toddlers , mess or ignominy . No, today we're dealing with ANIMAL . Now I could have posted a picture of a possum, numbat, wombat, wallaby or any other furry killing machine that roams our fair isle, but I figure that I'd use a far more deadly creature as an example of an animal . Some people - I know them as fools - have chosen to embrace that highfalutin idea that human beans are for some ungodly reason superior to animals. Of course, what these imbeciles seem to forget is that were are simple animals ourselves ! Anyone with a baby, toddler, teenage boy or Queenslander in their household could tell you this. Look at Henry [above]. One chocolate frog in the back of the car on a sunny day and all of a sudden it's Elagabalus meets Bacchus for a quick shandy in the Serengeti and we're down on all fours carrying on like a cat in heat. Fair dinkum, anyone who chooses to ...

This will hurt me...

Search This Blog