Skip to main content

When goods do not cross borders, soldiers will.


It might explain the popularity of the gang then. Geilston Bay Skate Park, Geilston Bay. December 2011.

In today's Sunday Top Five I'm tackling a serious social issue: homophobia. As the two photos today attest, insults relating to once sexual preference retain their currency to a strong degree, particularly among the warring Risdon Vale Boys versus Geilston Bay Boys [GBB 4 EVA!] and Sk8ers versus Scooters [Scooter Represent!]

Today I propose moving on from the typical dreary, pathetic and frightened wimperings of a group of young men that clearly need a) a good hug and b) a swift kick to a new form of insult. Yes, if we're going to slur entire communities, let's make sure that they're deserving.

So today I offer you My Top Five Groups Of People Who We Should Encourage Young People To Speak About In More Demeaning Ways Instead Of Always Picking On The Homosexuals Who Already Have It Hard Enough!

  • Bankers: RVB OFFER UNCOMPETITIVE INTEREST RATES AND FEES ON ALL CREDIT CARD ACCOUNTS!

  • Lawyers: JOHNNO PREFERS TORTS ON FRIDAY NIGHTS!

  • Bureaucrats: JAYDEN CHAIRS INTERGOVERNMENTAL FISCAL STANDING COMMITTEES JUST PHONE 0464 555 555!

  • Medical professionals: BODY BOARDERS CLAIM FOR A LONG CONSULT ON MEDICARE WHEN IN REALITY THEY ONLY SEE PATIENTS FOR A SHORT CONSULT THUS COSTING TAXPAYERS 4EVA!

  • Mobile Phone Companies: JACK AND EBONEE NO FREE ROAMING WITHOUT HEAVY PENALTY FEES!


    Now that's just plain rude. Geilston Bay Skate Park, Geilston Bay. December 2011.
    • Labels:

    Comments

    smudgeon said…
    How did I miss this one? Your best Top 5 yet.

    I always favour the cost of McDonalds as an insult. For instance, Pokey's mum goes to Maccas and pays $3.50 for a McFlurry. It hasn't yet failed to get me threatened by the piss-weak and the perplexed alike...
    16 December 2011 at 10:12
    Post a Comment

    Popular posts from this blog

    Hold me now, oh hold me now, until this hour has gone around. And I'm gone on the rising tide, to face Van Dieman's Land

    Theme Thursday again, and this one is rather easy. I am Tasmanian, you see, and aside from being all around general geniuses - as I have amply described previously - we are also very familiar with the concept of WATER. Tasmania is the ONLY island state of an ISLAND continent. That means, we're surrounded by WATER. That should help explain why I take so many photographs of water . Tasmania was for a long time the place where the British (an island race terrified of water) sent their poor people most vile and horrid criminals. The sort of folk who would face the stark choice of a death sentence , or transportation to the other end of the world. Their catalogue of crimes is horrifying : stealing bread assault stealing gentlemen's handkerchiefs drunken assault being poor affray ladies being overly friendly with gentlemen for money hitting people having a drink and a laugh public drunkenness being Irish Fenian terrorist activities being Catholic religious subversion. ...
    62 comments
    Read more

    Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

    This is the moon. Have I mentioned how much I adore the zoom on my camera? It's Theme Thursday you see, and after last week's limp effort, I have been thinking about how I might redeem myself. Then I clicked on the topic and discover that it was BUTTON. We've been hearing a lot about the moon in the past couple of weeks. Apparently some fellas went up there and played golf and what-not forty-odd years ago. The desire to get to the moon, however, was not simply about enhancing opportunities for Meg and Mog titles and skirting local planning by-laws in the construction of new and innovative golf courses. No, all of your Sputniks , "One small steps" and freeze dried ice cream was about one thing , and one thing only : MAD Now, I don't mean mad in terms of "bloke breaks record for number of scorpions he can get up his bum", no I mean MAD as in Mutual assured destruction . When I was a young man you see, there was a lot of talk about the type of m...
    50 comments
    Read more

    But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave.

    Can you believe that it is time for Theme Thursday already? Today we are not talking chocolate , toddlers , mess or ignominy . No, today we're dealing with ANIMAL . Now I could have posted a picture of a possum, numbat, wombat, wallaby or any other furry killing machine that roams our fair isle, but I figure that I'd use a far more deadly creature as an example of an animal . Some people - I know them as fools - have chosen to embrace that highfalutin idea that human beans are for some ungodly reason superior to animals. Of course, what these imbeciles seem to forget is that were are simple animals ourselves ! Anyone with a baby, toddler, teenage boy or Queenslander in their household could tell you this. Look at Henry [above]. One chocolate frog in the back of the car on a sunny day and all of a sudden it's Elagabalus meets Bacchus for a quick shandy in the Serengeti and we're down on all fours carrying on like a cat in heat. Fair dinkum, anyone who chooses to ...
    42 comments
    Read more