When goods do not cross borders, soldiers will.

It might explain the popularity of the gang then. Geilston Bay Skate Park, Geilston Bay. December 2011.

In today's Sunday Top Five I'm tackling a serious social issue: homophobia. As the two photos today attest, insults relating to once sexual preference retain their currency to a strong degree, particularly among the warring Risdon Vale Boys versus Geilston Bay Boys [GBB 4 EVA!] and Sk8ers versus Scooters [Scooter Represent!]

Today I propose moving on from the typical dreary, pathetic and frightened wimperings of a group of young men that clearly need a) a good hug and b) a swift kick to a new form of insult. Yes, if we're going to slur entire communities, let's make sure that they're deserving.

So today I offer you My Top Five Groups Of People Who We Should Encourage Young People To Speak About In More Demeaning Ways Instead Of Always Picking On The Homosexuals Who Already Have It Hard Enough!

Bankers: RVB OFFER UNCOMPETITIVE INTEREST RATES AND FEES ON ALL CREDIT CARD ACCOUNTS!

Lawyers: JOHNNO PREFERS TORTS ON FRIDAY NIGHTS!

Bureaucrats: JAYDEN CHAIRS INTERGOVERNMENTAL FISCAL STANDING COMMITTEES JUST PHONE 0464 555 555!

Medical professionals: BODY BOARDERS CLAIM FOR A LONG CONSULT ON MEDICARE WHEN IN REALITY THEY ONLY SEE PATIENTS FOR A SHORT CONSULT THUS COSTING TAXPAYERS 4EVA!

Mobile Phone Companies: JACK AND EBONEE NO FREE ROAMING WITHOUT HEAVY PENALTY FEES!

Now that's just plain rude. Geilston Bay Skate Park, Geilston Bay. December 2011.

Comments

Kris McCracken said…

Hmmmmm.

13 December 2011 at 08:14

smudgeon said…

How did I miss this one? Your best Top 5 yet.

I always favour the cost of McDonalds as an insult. For instance, Pokey's mum goes to Maccas and pays $3.50 for a McFlurry. It hasn't yet failed to get me threatened by the piss-weak and the perplexed alike...

16 December 2011 at 10:12

Ah, Joe, you never knew the whole of it...

I still have the robot on the job. Here you can see the Tasmanian Museum and Art Gallery . And here is a poem: Soliloquy for One Dead Bruce Dawe Ah, no, Joe, you never knew the whole of it, the whistling which is only the wind in the chimney's smoking belly, the footsteps on the muddy path that are always somebody else's. I think of your limbs down there, softly becoming mineral, the life of grasses, and the old love of you thrusts the tears up into my eyes, with the family aware and looking everywhere else. Sometimes when summer is over the land, when the heat quickens the deaf timbers, and birds are thick in the plumbs again, my heart sickens, Joe, calling for the water of your voice and the gone agony of your nearness. I try hard to forget, saying: If God wills, it must be so, because of His goodness, because- but the grasshopper memory leaps in the long thicket, knowing no ease. Ah, Joe, you never knew the whole of it... I like Bruce Dawe. He just my be my favourite Austral...

There was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong.

Here is a self portrait. I’m calling it Portrait of a lady in a dirty window . Shocking, isn’t it? However, it is apt! Samhain , Nos Galan Gaeaf , Hop-tu-Naa , All Saints , All Hallows , Hallowmas , Hallowe'en or HALLOWEEN . It’s Theme Thursday and we’re talking about the festivals traditionally held at the end of the harvest season. Huh? No wonder Australians have trouble with the concept of HALLOWEEN. For the record, in my thirty-two L O N G years on the planet, I can’t say I’ve ever seen ghosts ‘n goblins, trick ‘n treaters or Michael Myers stalking Tasmania’s streets at the end of October. [That said, I did once see a woman as pale as a ghost turning tricks that looked like Michael Myers in late November one time.] Despite the best efforts of Hollywood, sitcoms, and innumerable companies; it seems Australians are impervious to the [ahem] charms of a corporatized variant of a celebration of the end of the "lighter half" of the year and beginning of the "darke...

Hold me now, oh hold me now, until this hour has gone around. And I'm gone on the rising tide, to face Van Dieman's Land

Theme Thursday again, and this one is rather easy. I am Tasmanian, you see, and aside from being all around general geniuses - as I have amply described previously - we are also very familiar with the concept of WATER. Tasmania is the ONLY island state of an ISLAND continent. That means, we're surrounded by WATER. That should help explain why I take so many photographs of water . Tasmania was for a long time the place where the British (an island race terrified of water) sent their poor people most vile and horrid criminals. The sort of folk who would face the stark choice of a death sentence , or transportation to the other end of the world. Their catalogue of crimes is horrifying : stealing bread assault stealing gentlemen's handkerchiefs drunken assault being poor affray ladies being overly friendly with gentlemen for money hitting people having a drink and a laugh public drunkenness being Irish Fenian terrorist activities being Catholic religious subversion. ...

This will hurt me...

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